Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about change and our ability to change whenever and for whatever reason we want. I was chatting with a friend earlier today and she reminded me of a question I used to get over and over again when I first quit my lawyer job. Friends, family members, acquaintances, and co-workers would ask, "But you're so good at being a lawyer, why would you want to leave?" It was so indicative of their own state of mind. Humans hate change! I guess that's just the way we're built. We'd rather stay in a job we hate than muster up the courage to reach for something higher. What's that famous quote, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't?" Yes, something like that. In this week's journal entry I want to ensure you that it is perfectly acceptable to change your career (or anything else for that matter) at any point, whether you're 28 or 58. 

It's perfectly acceptable to change your career even if you're further on in your years. I've heard so many people say, "I'm too old to change now." What?! No. If you're still alive on this planet, then that means your growing isn't finished yet. Period. And maybe that change is exactly what you need to grow into the next best version of yourself. We tend to put more emphasis on all that can go wrong. We tend to think more about how uncomfortable we'll be making a big change. But what if the entire world opens up for you when you make the leap? That's what happened to me when I started grace + hudson at age 37 and I've never been happier. Side note: I also look 10 years younger than I did practicing law - stress does crazy things to you! 

It's also perfectly acceptable to change your career even if you're really good at the one you have now. I'm good at deveining shrimp, so does that mean I should do that for a living? No! (Sorry for the gross reference - I live by the ocean and we get the best shrimp here!). Just because I'm good at something doesn't mean it's the way I want to spend 40+ hours per week. And that's perfectly acceptable! Moreover, humans (even the not-so-smart ones) are generally pretty good at more than one thing. We're a pretty talented species, you know? So please don't feel pigeon-holed into one career or one job title for the rest of your life just because you're good at the first one you picked. If it doesn't bring you happiness and if you feel you've outgrown it, you're doing nothing but a disservice to yourself and to your own growth if you stay there.

That brings me to my next point: evolving. You see, when we grow out of something, it means we're evolving as humans and that is a very, very good thing. I was a lawyer for 11 years. Looking back now, I realize why I was stuck in a career I didn't like (even though I was good at it) for that length of time. I had some mental blocks keeping me there. I've since worked on those and cleared them (i.e. I've evolved) and my career needed to change along with me. And then the place where I lived needed to change to fit the new person I was becoming (I moved from Chicago to Charleston). And then my relationship status needed to change to fit the new person I was becoming (I went from "forever a bridesmaid and always single" to "in a serious relationship")... and the rest is history. But none of it would have happened if I didn't first have the courage to change.

So on that note, I feel compelled to say that the same principles are applicable to other areas of your life outside of career. If you'd like to change your relationship, you can. It doesn't matter how old you are and it doesn't matter that the one you're in now is "good enough" if what you're really seeking is "phenomenal." If you'd like to change the city you live in, again it doesn't matter how old you are (my mother just moved out of state for the first time and she's in her late 60's!) and it doesn't matter whether the city you live in now is "good enough" if you're seeking "amazing." The same goes for changing your religious beliefs, your political beliefs, your feelings on having children, etc. You can change at any time, for any reason. You know that Maya Angelou quote, "When you know better, you do better?" It's kind of like that. As you evolve and grow as a person, it's not uncommon for your beliefs to change, for your life circumstances to change, for your job to change. Those changes are a reflection of the person you are becoming. And I hope, at least for myself, that by the time I leave this planet my outside circumstances are in pretty good alignment with my inner being and who I really am. Isn't that a good goal? I think so.

Cheers to change and to evolving into better versions of ourselves!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking about abundance and why it doesn't depend on your outer circumstances (yes, even in a pandemic). What do you think of when you hear the word abundance? Most people think about money, right? Wrong! Abundance is about realizing that everything you need is available to you, whether that be money, happiness, love, food, health, etc. The problem is, most of us don't truly believe this. Why should we? Society teaches us differently. Society teaches us to have a lack mentality. Growing up, it's common to hear and believe that there isn't enough to go around, that you have to fight for what you want, and that you need to compete with others to get what you want. Think about it. Even in school we're taught that grades happen on a curve and only so many people in the class can achieve an A+. This sets the foundation for competing with others later in life for jobs and promotions. In short, most of us grow up learning "lack" is normal and "abundance" is a pipe dream. 

I grew up like any regular kid, hearing and believing these things too. It wasn't until after I quit my lawyer job in my 30's that I really understood what abundance means. I've read a lot of books on abundance because the "science" behind it truly fascinates me. I really wanted to understand why some people work hard at an office job their whole life and barely make it by, while others seem to succeed at becoming happy, wealthy, and healthy relatively easily without pushing papers around in an office all day. The latter group seemed to be having a much better time here on earth and I wanted to figure out how to get me some of that.

If you read enough of these books, you start to realize they're all saying the same thing. Abundance is an internal thing. And it's largely based on what you believe, not your outside circumstances. This is HUGE! If you've been reading my journal entries, you probably see where I'm going with this. Your beliefs shape your experiences and if you believe there isn't enough to go around, you're going to experience there not being enough to go around. If you believe that everything you need will be provided, that's what you're going to experience. It truly, honestly is that simple. The problem is, most of us are not even aware that we have lacking beliefs, let alone the courage to change them and choose differently. 

I'd love if you tried a little experiment. Let's start with money since money is a tangible object that's easy to measure (unlike, say, an abundance of health). For one week, I want you to repeat this phrase over and over and over again: I have enough money to spend, to share, and to save. Say it in the morning, say it before you go to bed, say it all day long. It doesn't need to be out loud - it can just be running through your head. Set an alarm on your phone that rings every hour and say it then too. Every time you use your debit or credit card, say it as you swipe the card or enter your password. Every time you look at your bank account, say it then. And, all week long, take special care to notice all of the money flowing to you. And don't forget that money flows in ways aside from dollar bills. Perhaps you need to get your car's oil changed and the mechanic happens to be running a special on oil changes that week. Or maybe you're signing a new apartment lease and there's a "one month free rent" special at the time you sign. Or perhaps you park your car in a meter spot and there's already enough money in the meter for you to run your errand. Count everything. Be appreciative of all the different ways money flows to you. Do this experiment whole-heartedly for one week and I'm telling you, you are going to notice more money flowing to you. Try it! When we believe we are abundant, abundance shows up.

Still don't believe me? I invite you to read all the books you can find on abundance. Read enough of them and, like me, you'll start to realize they're all saying the same thing but in different ways. Like me, you'll start to think, "If all of these authors (who by the way span centuries, genders, and races) are saying basically the same thing, there's gotta be something to this." You'll start to really believe that abundance is an internal belief and, therefore, that you have 100% control over whether or not you experience abundance.

Once you start to see abundance flowing in your finances, then you can branch out to other areas like an abundance of love, and abundance of health, etc. It's the same mental concept, over and over again. Money is easy to start with because it's tangible and you can literally count the results. 

I'll leave you with this. If you don't believe this can work for you, if you're reading this and your mind is going "whatever", please please please be courageous enough to examine your own thoughts. Thoughts shape everything we do, everything we experience, everything we have. They are literally the most powerful force we have, yet no one teaches us how to use them. I truly do believe there will come a day where everyone is taught this in school or from their parents - where everyone will "workout" their minds as much as they workout their bodies, but we just aren't there yet. There are so many people who understand this now, though. If it works for everyone else, why can't it work for you? Be courageous enough to examine the thoughts that say this can't work, this is dumb, this is a waste of time, this is not for me. Those thoughts are trying to keep you stuck in your comfort zone. It's no fun trying to change! It requires effort and some work. Our brains, if you haven't noticed, like to be comfortable and like to predict repeatable patterns. Here's the good news though - once you put a lot of work into believing in abundance, that will be become your default setting. In other words, abundance will become your brain's comfort zone and lack will start to feel foreign. 

Remember - change doesn't happen overnight, but thought by thought! Cheers to an abundant remainder of 2020.

xoxo,

Stacy 

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking about the roles we play and why it can be so important to let go of them when pursuing a big change, such as switching careers. We all play certain roles: mother, daughter, lawyer, nurse, perfectionist, people-pleaser... the list goes on and on. And we take actions based on those roles all the time. A "mother" nurses you back to health when you are sick, a "people-pleaser" always says yes when asked to do something even if it's inconvenient, a "lawyer" usually debates and argues about everything under the sun. Whether we know it or not, we are shaped by the different roles we hold in our lives. This is not always a bad thing. Roles help us live together as a productive society. We all know that the local firefighter, not the local deli owner, is supposed to put out the local fire. Roles give each of us some direction. But, when taken too seriously and valued too much, roles can also trap us in a box and hold us back from growing, becoming our best selves, fulfilling our ultimate potential, and consciously choosing how to live and what to believe.

Let me give you an example. Let's talk about a lawyer in a big city working at a large law firm. I chose this example because it's a role that I used to play (and we all know how that story ended.... I quit!). Anyways, the "role" of a lawyer in a big city working at a large law firm goes something like this: graduated from an Ivy League school and a top 25 law school, dresses in expensive business suits in dark colors, carries a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag, owns a condo in the trendy part of town, has a large engagement ring, drives a Lexus, Audi, or Mercedes, reads the NY Times and watches CNN, attends a large number of networking events because he or she is desperately striving for the title of "partner" at the law firm, and works until at least 8 pm most nights. If you are a lawyer or know one, you might have chuckled at this list. These are things a big time lawyer is "supposed" to do and acquire to consistently prove she is a big time lawyer. Many big time lawyers get so attached to these things that they don't know who they are outside of them. These things validate them and "prove" they are worthy of respect and admiration - in other words, their identity is completely wrapped up in these external things. This is why it's so hard to leave the profession of law even if you hate it! If your identity is too wrapped up in all these things outside yourself, who are you if they all go away? It's an actual identity crisis. Similarly, what happens if you don't want to do some of these things? For example, maybe I don't want to be partner, or maybe I want to live in the suburbs, or maybe I don't like CNN. It can be tough, even for the most educated, to go against "group think." And therefore we find ourselves doing things merely because everyone else is doing them. This is when roles start to trap us and hold us back from growing. 

I listened to this interview the other day and I thought it was so appropriate to share here. It was with Lauren Eisenhower (yes, of the famous Eisenhower family). She said that people can either operate in the personality matrix or the soul matrix. The personality matrix is where the world is largely based on roles, group think, and outward things like job title and the car you drive. People associate with others who are just like them. This inherently means that the world is divided. The soul matrix, on the other hand, is where everyone engages with one another as their authentic self and people with differing opinions not only exist in harmony, but learn from one another. There is also harmony between your authentic self and what you do for a living. In other words, you fulfill your purpose. There is an ease to life, and you can tell you're in the zone or in the flow because things feel right and line up as they should.

In the personality matrix, we learn about fitting in from a very young age. Our life becomes about measuring up, fitting in, and doing what we're "supposed to do" (go to the best college, get the best job, get married, buy a home, have children, etc). In the personality matrix, our identity is composed of things outside ourselves like the groups we associate with, job titles, labels, etc. And when something threatens one or more of those things, we have an identity crisis. In the soul matrix, however, we learn to connect with our authentic self and THEN we build our life around it. Our identity is built from the inside out, and nothing external can threaten it. Sure, we can still experience hardships and things we love may be taken from us, but we do not crash and crumble and have an identity crisis when that happens. The other important thing that happens in the soul matrix is that differences exist in harmony. We've all heard the expression opposites attract, right? Well, if I'm really energetic and run on adrenaline all the time, I might find myself being attracted to friends and a spouse who are calm and grounded. Being around people different than myself helps me. I grow and evolve because I observe others who operate differently than I do in the world. In the personality matrix, this isn't valued. Instead, people value others who think the same as them, act the same as them, and speak the same as them. And that's how people become close-minded and judgmental of others. 

So, now that we know a little more about the power of roles and identity, where do we go from here? First, try to objectively examine whether your identity is primarily built on external things such as your job title, the car you drive, the place you live, the political party you affiliate with, the news channel you prefer, etc. One way to find out if your identity is too wrapped up in any one external thing is this -- do you feel personally attacked when someone attacks that thing? For example, when someone attacks the news station you love to watch, do you feel personally attacked? That's a warning sign. You never want your identity to be SO wrapped up in something outside yourself because that thing can vanish in an instant. Then what? In addition, when you are so wrapped up in something outside yourself that you can't entertain other opinions, you're not going to grow and evolve. How can you? Everyone thinks the same as you! That's called the comfort zone and we all know that nothing much happens there.

Second, if you find that your identity is wrapped up in one or more external things, it's time to transition into a more authentic way of living. It might require the help of a therapist or coach (this is actually what Lauren Eisenhower does now). You essentially have to break down your current identity which is built on external things, get in touch with your authentic self, and then rebuild your life around that. It doesn't happen overnight. Some people call this the "dark night of the soul" (go ahead and Google it!). I definitely went through this period when I transitioned from lawyer to jewelry business owner. Well, actually, it came before I quit my lawyer job. I decided that my identity was built on a lot of things that didn't resonate with me and that weren't a true expression of who I really am. I enlisted the help of a therapist and did a lot of hard work on myself. And eventually, it culminated in me leaving behind the legal profession and becoming a jewelry business owner, making good use of the artistic skills I was given. 

I'll end with this - there's never been a time like the present to make big change. 2020 has been challenging for a lot of us because things that may have formed our identity were taken from us in an instant. Maybe we lost our job or our home. Or maybe it's less dramatic than that - maybe we are suffering because sports are a big part of our identity and they haven't been on. Whatever the case, each and every one of us can point to something that was taken from us. Now is our chance, however, to rebuild our identities around new thoughts, and new values, and new beliefs, and new plans. If big change is what you're seeking, there's no time like the present. Take advantage of all the change in the air!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. This week I want to talk about authenticity at work. It's so important to find work that is in alignment with who you are -- work that makes use of your given talents and natural gifts. When you do work like that, things just flow. The converse is true, too. When you work in a field that either isn't in alignment with who you are or, even worse, forces you to change who you are, the Monday to Friday grind can feel like a real uphill battle. Have you ever thought about whether your job or career is in alignment with who you are? I hadn't, until long after I quit my lawyer job. I didn't know it at the time, but a lot of the angst I felt working in the legal profession stemmed from the fact that I wasn't doing work that was in alignment with my personality. In fact, I sometimes felt like I had to betray my own personality in certain ways to be a "good lawyer." If you find yourself in a similar situation, you might want to read on!

Many people who meet me cannot believe that I was once a lawyer. They can't picture me as an attorney. I'm on the quiet side, I'm friendly, and I tend to have a warm and comforting disposition about me. Lawyers tend to be loud, aggressive, unfriendly, cold, and uncomfortable to be around (not all lawyers... but the stereotype exists for a reason). People used to make the same comment back when I was a lawyer too, and this should've been a huge red flag. Why do people I just met always say they're surprised I'm a lawyer? It literally was that obvious that my personality didn't "fit" the role of attorney.

My body also told me that something was off. For the majority of my 11 year career as an attorney I experienced stomachaches. Every day. I tried different things to address the problem, but nothing worked. Magically, and I say this with absolutely no exaggeration, my stomachaches seemed to disappear about a week after I quit my lawyer job. I'm not kidding. It's an amazing thing what stress can do to you. Sitting here now I think to myself, what if I had continued on? I'm sure 40 years of persistent stomachaches from the stress of work wouldn't have faired well for me. I most likely would have ended up with a much more serious illness or medical condition.

My spirit also told me something was off. At times I was told, either implicitly or expressly, to change things about myself to fit more into the role of attorney. My spirit didn't like this, but I tried to fit into the role anyways because I was young and didn't know any better. For example, I remember this one article that circulated around the law firms that addressed the use of exclamation points and flowery language in emails written by females. Cease the use of exclamation points! They are over-used and diminish your authority, the article said. The article also cautioned against the use of filler language or flowery language. For example, instead of writing "Just checking in on the draft brief I sent you last week. Please let me know if you've had a chance to review it and if you have any edits." you should instead write, "Please provide a status update on the draft." As someone who likes to use warm and friendly language in email communications, this didn't sit well with me. It seemed like I was being coached to write and speak more like a man. What in the world is wrong with the woman's way of speaking? Absolutely nothing. In fact, I think it promotes a greater sense of teamwork and workplace camaraderie. I'd be far more likely to quickly respond to the nice email than the status update email, wouldn't you? 

I also didn't have a great fondness for the clothes I was "supposed" to wear as a lawyer. Pant suits and blazers that were plain and simple, and DARK. Very dark. If you see my Instagram Stories, I rarely wear black. But as a lawyer, you almost always wear black or navy. The clothes I wore felt stuffy and too proper. I often felt like I was trying to look more like a man than a woman in my lawyer suits, as if looking like a man would somehow make me more credible to the judge or client. I sure didn't realize this at the time, but looking back now, that's exactly what a female lawyer's wardrobe is meant to convey. I mean, that's the reason pant suits for women were invented! To mirror and model a man's suit.

And most importantly, I didn't like the way I needed to betray my own natural personality in order to fit the role of lawyer. How I needed to become more argumentative, more aggressive, more more more of the things I just WAS NOT. It was stressful to put on an act, and pretend I was someone I wasn't. This is your biggest clue that you're out of alignment with your job or career. 

I wish someone had coached me back in high school or college to take a look at my natural gifts, skills, and personality traits, and to pick a job or career that meshed with those. I sure wouldn't have ended up a lawyer. In fact, if someone had said to me back then, "If you become a lawyer, your entire life is going to feel like one big argument", I would've said, "Stop right there, that's not me and I'm going to find something else to do with my life." If you're currently feeling angst, unhappiness, and tension in your current job or career, take some time to examine whether your work is just out of alignment with YOU. And if it is, that's ok. Know there are a lot of things out there that would be in alignment with who you are. You don't need to change yourself to fit into a role that you weren't born to play. And please don't let anyone make you think that you do. Examine how your body feels about your work - is it constantly stressed out, uncomfortable, and sick? Examine how other people react when you tell them about your job - do your friends and family and maybe even strangers tell you that your personality doesn't seem to fit your career? Examine how your spirit feels - do you feel like you're constantly being beat down or coerced into changing some aspect(s) of yourself in order to fit a role? Take an inventory of these things, and if they're not in alignment, find a career coach. There are so many available on the Internet these days - interview a few and pick one that can help you work through your traits, gifts, and skills and help you list a number of jobs that are in alignment with those. Changing careers can be difficult at times, but coming up with a list of potential good careers for you is not as hard as it would seem. Take that first step. It'll probably make you feel more at ease to compile a list of careers that would serve you well! And then maybe the excitement of finding a career in alignment with who you really are can propel you into the journey of actually changing careers!

Cheers to doing work that's in alignment with who you really are!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm walking you through the stages I experienced after I quit my lawyer job and started grace + hudson. A lot of you have messaged me about wanting to quit your job and start your own business so I thought you'd like to hear about what it feels like on the other side. And yes, bouts of doubt and fear are completely normal.  

For those of you who are new here, I practiced law for about 11 years before I quit my career to start grace + hudson jewelry. I quit in February 2017 and launched the grace + hudson website in June 2017. I practiced at two different law firms during my career, and then took an in-house legal job (which means working as a lawyer for a corporation) at a large tech company. When I quit, I was 36 years old and I was the Head of Employment Law for North and South America. Quite a few different things pushed me to quit, which I've talked about many times before so I won't go into them again here. But I will reiterate that the number one thing that pushed me to finally quit was losing my father to cancer in 2014 when I was 34. It was at this point in my life that I realized that life is far too short. I wanted to live life differently. So, with that said, here we go...

The day I actually said "I quit"

Quitting sounds like an AMAZING thing when you don't like your job, right? You dream of the day that you'll be able to say those two magical words. I've quit 3 real jobs in my lifetime (not counting the little jobs I had before law school) and each time I found it to be very nerve-wracking. It's such a big leap! I think it's completely normal to be anxious so expect to have some sweat on your palms and a fast-beating heart. Once those words are out in the open though, WHEW. What a relief. The big secret you've been holding onto has finally gotten out into the air and it's such a weight off your shoulders. You'll have to tell your "why" to about 100 different people over the next two weeks as you explain your plans and next steps to your co-workers, finish up outstanding tasks and projects, and clean out your desk. And then it's finally time to say goodbye, hand in your employee ID badge, and drive away! The morning after your very last day of work is so incredibly freeing. Claiming your freedom and feeling it for the first time is how I'd sum up this stage of the process. 

The first few weeks post-quitting

These initial weeks are thrilling. You catch up on sleep, release all the tension and stress of your former job and the courage it took to finally quit, the adrenaline of your last two weeks of employment finally wears off, and you can take some time for self-care. Your final paycheck arrives about a week or two after you quit, so you don't have to worry about money quite yet. You still can't believe this is real life! You can finally breathe, calm down, and feel grounded again.

The thrill of being your own boss

A week or two after you quit, you try to establish a brand new work routine. You're the boss now! You'll experiment with things such as different places to work (home or coffee shop?) and different hours (start earlier, start later, or try to stick to 9 to 5?). Chances are, you already started to work on your business before you quit (and I highly advocate for that - in fact, I wrote more about that here). So now you're just going at it full-time and it feels absolutely amazing to have so much time to devote to your business idea. You also start to realize that a LOT of people do not have a 9 to 5 job because you'll run errands or go to a workout class in the middle of the day, and there are actually people there. Your mind starts to broaden and you realize there are more jobs out there apart from the traditional 9 to 5, and you start to meet people who have them. It's easy to feel motivated, energized, and excited about the future.

Doubts and job searching

About 2 months after you quit, it's common for the initial thrill to wear off. You're more accustomed to the new routine and you're probably working long hours. Some doubts about money start to creep in because it takes time to get your business into a regular state of cash flow, as well as patience and hard work. Things do not happen overnight (read more about that here), and you know this but it's still hard to accept at times. Hopefully you've saved up enough money to get through the initial period, but even if you have, it's very tempting to worry about paying your bills. Do not fret. You are shedding old ways of being! You used to have a job where you received a paycheck every two weeks like clockwork, and now you're transitioning into a new way of earning. You'll experience lots of transitions like these, and you'll let go of lots of old ways of being. Stay the course. Stay positive. This is normal. And - sorry to be the bearer of bad news - but this phase lasts a very long time - a year or two.

To cope, you'll probably search for jobs. At first, you'll search for jobs every few days. Then every few weeks. Then every few months. Slowly by surely, you'll gain confidence in your business and your business will grow, and you'll finally reach a point where there will be no looking back. In the meantime, you are building strength of character and becoming a more independent person. You are evolving and growing by leaps and bounds and, whether your business ultimately succeeds or not, you will take this growth into the next chapters of your life. You'll be a richer person because of it, no matter what happens! Let this motivate you more than the money (I wrote more about this here). 

Symbolic acts of separation from your old career

Once you have truly settled into this new way of being - it might be a year, two years, or maybe more - you truly start to embrace it. You start to take action based on your new business, not worrying about whether you have to go back to the old one.   

I remember the moment the tides really started to turn for me. I looked at my old "lawyer" clothes one day, about a year after I quit. I wanted to get rid of them but something inside me said, "Well, what if you have to go back to being a lawyer... then you're going to need all of these clothes again." I looked that thought right in the eye and said "NO." And I proceeded to fold and sort my lawyer clothes into donate and throw away piles. I felt so free throwing away the dark, stuffy wardrobe. I often felt like I was trying to look more like a man than a woman in my lawyer suits anyway. This act of turning over my clothes was symbolic. It's the first action I took that really said, "I am never going back to that career." It felt bold, it felt courageous, and it felt like I believed in myself and my business dreams wholeheartedly.

Another symbolic act that happened during this stage was retiring my legal license. Oh was this a wonderful moment! When you're a lawyer, it costs hundreds of dollars to renew your lawyer license every year. I renewed my license the first year after I quit, but then I got to a point where I felt this money was totally wasted. I no longer wanted to give away all of this money for something I didn't want anymore. I did a little research and I discovered that I could put my license into retirement, which means I still have my license but I don't have the ability to go to court or practice in a law firm or company. I'll always have the option to reactivate it (in other words, I'll never not be a lawyer, it's not something that can be taken away from me). Retiring my license sounds like it was the final nail in the coffin on this journey, but there was one more.

The final nail in the coffin

One day in 2019, I realized that I would never go back to being a lawyer because I was no longer a match for it. What does that mean? I wrote a whole journal entry on it which you can read by clicking here. Long story short, I equate it to that person you had a crush on many years ago who makes you cringe today. Why the drastic change in feelings? You've evolved! You're no longer a match for that person's energy. And the same is now true for me and the legal profession. We are no longer a match. I have evolved beyond it. I will no longer accept that type of work environment in my life. It's not acceptable to me and I won't stand for it. I have a new concept of career and new beliefs surrounding what a career should look like and feel like. I believe work should be an authentic reflection of who you are. I believe work should feel GOOD. I believe work shouldn't drain you of all your energy and pull all the light from your eyes. What do I always say? Your beliefs create your reality! And this journey has proven that ten times over.

If you're planning to quit someday soon or not-so-soon, I wish you courage, patience, and the strength to make the leap! 

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to speak directly to those of you who want to start your own business or already have. In running my business, the number one thing I always keep in mind is service. Service is the name of the game! It's about THEM, not YOU. This sounds so incredibly simple, right? But so many people fail to operate their business from a place of service, and it's so incredibly hard to succeed in the long run that way. 

So what does service mean exactly? Service means to be "of help, use, or benefit" (Webster's Dictionary). Every message you deliver about your business' product or service will be much more powerful if you speak from a place of service. Focus on what your customer or client has to gain from your product or service, or what problem you can help them solve, or how your service or product can make their lives better. This sounds easy but it can be tricky in the age of social media. For example, I have noticed that some business owners use their Instagram Stories to post almost entirely about their personal lives. What they did over the weekend, their cat, the wine they enjoyed last night, etc. I think it's great to show little snippets of your personal life because it makes you human and relatable, and these days a lot of people are consciously trying to shop more and more with small business owners rather than big corporations like Amazon. But, I think personal life snippets should be a tiny fraction of what you communicate. Why? Most people have difficulty keeping up with the minor details of their friends' and family's lives, let alone a stranger's life. It's really easy to disengage from that! Why? Because it isn't serving them. It adds little to no value to their lives. 

There's another reason it's really important to speak from a place of service. People can sense that energy, even through the social media and digital airwaves! If your motivation is solely to make money, don't think for one second that your potential customers won't notice that. It's a selfish energy and a self-centered energy that doesn't serve them and it won't serve you in the long run either. On the other hand, if you establish your business from a place of service and operate from the belief that your product or service truly solves a problem or is of value to your target market, then your communications will carry an entirely different energy. Businesses that provide true value to the world will, as a natural consequence, make money. Focus on the value, and the money will come. Focus on the money, and you're actually going to repel it.

I have an important real life example to share about this point. Remember that I had a jewelry store in 2010 that failed after just one year? During that time period, I was way too focused on not being a lawyer. That was my driving force in opening that store. Bottom line - that store wasn't about the customers I might serve with my jewelry designs. It was about me escaping the law. I couldn't see that at the time, but I see it so clearly now. I'm not surprised the store failed and that I ended up back in the law. Law was always on my mind! I gave all my energy to it! 

I'll conclude with this - there is all sorts of value that you can add to the world. You can add value to the world in big ways. You can add value in small ways. And they're both valid. There are tons and tons and tons of big and small problems to fix in the world. Just find your tiny little niche and focus on that. For example, in my own company, I aim to serve brides who are looking for classy jewelry they can gift to their bridesmaids at a giftable price-point. It's not too cheap, it's not too expensive, it's right in the middle. There are so few companies in that middle lane, so that's where I aim to add value. In addition, I aim to solve a problem -- most brides leave jewelry to the very end of their planning process (perhaps because they think it'll be easy to find) and then they scramble in a panic because it's actually really hard to find classy bridesmaid jewelry that won't break the bank (especially if you have something like 8 bridesmaids). I always aim to serve that scrambling bride who is just so happy to stumble across my website or Instagram because it's exactly what she's been looking for. My business is the solution to her problem. Sure, I sell jewelry to non-brides and to brides who aren't scrambling around at the last minute, but my little, tiny, narrow lane of service that I focus on is the one I described above. And when you cover your tiny, little lane of service so incredibly well, other people traveling in other lanes are going to notice you. So what's your tiny, little, narrow corner of the world you aim to serve with your business? Keep that top of mind when you communicate about your business and you will go far.

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. Many of you want to start your own business, but have you ever thought about what it might feel like when you finally take the plunge? I started grace + hudson three years ago in June 2017 as an online business. I finished 2019 as a six-figure business which was so exciting (it definitely gave me the "I've made it!" feeling). Then, in early 2020, I signed a store lease to expand my business by adding a storefront in downtown Charleston. I opened my store two weeks ago and I feel like a beginner again. I'm sharing what it feels like to first start out on the big, new, scary, exciting adventure of business ownership because if you don't know what's "normal" and what's not, you might give up on your business too soon.

The most critical thing to remember is that you're going to feel a little lonely in the beginning. This is normal! You won't open your doors and immediately have hundreds of customers waiting to throw their money at you. I wish it were that easy! If it were, everyone would have their own business. Similarly, if your business is all online, you might hear crickets every single time you post something on social media about your services. When that happens, don't compare yourself to other online businesses that have tons of followers - remember, they too were beginners at one point. Instead, realize that you need to put time and effort into marketing. Marketing is simply the act of making people aware of your business and what you have to sell. Most likely, no one is buying from you yet because no one knows about you yet! Don't assume that no one is buying because your product stinks. Too many people assume the latter, get very discouraged, and shut their doors before their business was given a fair chance.

In the very beginning of grace + hudson, I sometimes went weeks without getting a single sale on my website. If I didn't know that was normal I might have thought, "Wow, my jewelry must stink. Maybe I should just go back to being a lawyer." But thankfully I knew that it takes time and effort to grow a business (especially online where there is much more competition). This is the single hardest thing about starting a new business: sticking with it and believing in your products or services even when no one is buying them. Try this exercise - it might make you feel better: look up the businesses you love and find out when they were founded. I was shocked to learn that some of the companies I love were founded long before I knew about them. It takes time. Be consistent. Show up in the best way you know how. And over time, you will build your own tribe of loyal and returning customers.

The second thing I want to talk about is self-doubt. It takes a lot of courage to start your own business. The fears and doubts that held you back before you took the plunge don't automatically go away. It is very normal to open your shop or launch your website and continue to wonder, "Did I make the right decision?" Take some deep breaths, exhale the self-doubt and worry, and focus on what needs to be done to operate your business. Self-doubt is going to be part of any adventure that requires guts, determination, and courage! 

The third and final thing I want to mention are the frustrating customers or clients. If you aren't prepared for them, the first one just might make you cry! But it's a fact of life that comes with the territory. People are by their nature, funny creatures. They'll have incorrect expectations and often want you to deliver champagne on a beer budget. They'll say weird things, make annoying requests, and sometimes be downright rude. For example, I am shocked every time I receive an email from a potential customer trying to negotiate the price of my jewelry. This happens at least several times per year! And I'm not referring to, "Do you have a discount code?" That's perfectly acceptable. What I'm talking about is the customer who says, "I know this necklace is $74 but would you accept $50?" I always think to myself, would that person have the gumption to send the same email to Macy's or Nordstrom? Heck no! So what makes them think it is acceptable to email a small business owner with this type of request? I just don't know. Whenever you encounter an unfriendly or rude customer, realize that it's them, not you. They most likely had a bad day, or weren't raised with proper manners. It just comes with the territory. Be kind and do the best you can to meet their expectations, but never feel like you have to concede to a request if it doesn't feel right to you or just doesn't make sense financially. There will be more customers - you certainly don't need the annoying ones.

Business ownership is an exciting adventure. Enjoy the beginning because, if things go well, you'll soon be so busy that the beginning stages will become a distant memory!

xoxo,

Stacy 

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. This week I'm sharing the 3 most critical things to think about when starting your own business. We are living in crazy, uncertain times but I think the instability people are currently feeling in the workplace is inspiring a lot of people to go off and do their own thing. There is no time like the present! The world is changing rapidly as a result of the coronavirus and the way people work, shop, and live is changing along with it. If you are contemplating starting your own business or recently launched your own business, this week's journal is for you. As you embark on your journey, you'll want to give a lot of thought to the 3 things I've outlined below. In my opinion, these are the 3 most critical things that make up the foundation of a successful business. If you nail these 3 things, your chance of success is going to increase dramatically.

1) How is your business different from all the businesses already selling or offering what you're selling or offering? Make sure you communicate this loud & clear and as often as possible.

To me, this is the literally the most critical aspect of establishing your business. We live in a global marketplace and there are most likely hundreds if not thousands if not millions of businesses already selling or offering what you hope to sell or offer. Today, it's as easy to order a sweater from a business in California as it is to order a sweater from a business in Australia. Think about it: just 10 or 15 years ago, people pretty much shopped within their own country. And 25 or 30 years ago, people pretty much shopped within their own state because e-commerce didn't even exist. Heck, email didn't even really exist! You actually had to go to a store to get that sweater, which means that shop owners were only competing with other shop owners within a certain number of miles. Today, shop owners are competing with other shops around the world. So this brings me to my point - how is your business different from all of those shops? You need to be 1000% clear on this and you need to communicate it clearly and often to your potential customers. Let me give you an example. Say you'd like to start a clothing company. Well, there are millions of shops selling clothing these days. So what makes you different? Why should I buy a pair of pants from you and not another shop? Maybe you use a revolutionary new fabric to make your pants. Or maybe your business hires women to sew the pants who were formerly victims of domestic violence and are getting back on their feet. What is it about your company and your pants that makes them stand out from the millions of other pants that other companies sell? If you aren't clear on what makes your company special, and if you don't communicate this clearly and regularly in your marketing efforts, it's going to be difficult to grow a profitable business. There are simply too many other shops from which I can buy pants, and the one that catches my eye and resonates with me is most likely going to get my dollars. 

2) Establish a brand, not just a business.

Most businesses need a brand - an identity - to grow and succeed. A business is it's own entity - in fact, when you file paperwork to form your LLC or corporation, the state actually gives you a piece of paper that says your business is it's own entity distinct and separate from you. Some would go so far to call their LLC or corporation a living, breathing thing (when you start the business ownership journey, you'll understand this! It feels like you've just given birth to a newborn who needs every second of your attention and care). And this new little entity you're creating - this business - needs a personality. Just like a newborn, the things you do (or don't do) shape the personality of this business. And just like a human being, people are more likely to fall in love with a business that has some personality. Do you get the distinction I'm trying to make here? There are businesses, and then there are brands. A business merely tries to sell things. A brand, on the other hand, tries to connect with you, and serve you, and fulfill your need. They put a lot of care and attention into how they interact with you - it truly is a relationship, not just a one-way street for selling whatever item you happen to need or want. A brand is something you can interact with and engage with and hopefully, at the end of the day, it's something that resonates with you.

You may have already connected the dots, but point 2 strongly correlates to my first point. Generally, a brand is based on the thing or things that make your business different from every other business out there. Let's talk about the company that hires former victims of domestic violence to sew their pants. Perhaps that company's branding will center around the empowerment of women, and their marketing messages will be inspirational and focus on women's independence and resilience. And maybe they will donate a portion of their sales to a charity that focuses on supporting victims of domestic violence. You get the point? The company isn't just a company selling pants anymore. It's a company that's selling pants but with a much larger mission - a brand - that might resonate with a lot of women out there. 

3) Have enough money in the bank or keep your day job for the foreseeable future.

My last point is a practical point. The unfortunate reality is that starting a business usually costs a lot of money. You have to file paperwork with the state to create your business entity (usually $100 or more), you might need to order inventory if you're selling a product (a lot of your money will be spent here), you have to invest in marketing (in the beginning, marketing costs can be huge because if no one knows about your new business, no one can buy from you), you might need to hire employees straight out of the gate (while some companies can wait to hire), and you might need to rent out a space or an office (while some companies can operate out of a home office to start). These are just some of the expenses you will face as you start your business. How do you intend to pay for them? If your business is new, chances are it's making no money because no one knows about you yet! And - spoiler alert - it takes a lot longer than you might think to build a business that can generate a steady revenue stream (we're talking years, not weeks or months). Generally, the rule of thumb is that a business takes 2 to 3 years to become profitable. That means that in the first 2 to 3 years, you are not making enough money to support all of your expenses and you need either (a) money in the bank or (b) an alternate way to generate income. Will you keep your day job for the foreseeable future or take on a part-time job so that you continue to have a stream of income while you build your business and your brand? Do you have enough savings in the bank to support your living expenses so you can work on your business full-time? What is your plan? For me, I had saved up a lot. I was at this juncture in my life where I could either buy a condo, or invest my money in myself and my business idea. I chose my business idea!

Let me say one more thing about this 3rd point. In this day and age, with social media, it's tempting for someone inexperienced in business to assume that all you need to start making money is a business Instagram account. You know, set up a website on Squarespace, post some pretty pictures on Instagram, and boom sales start coming in. This couldn't be further from the truth. There is absolutely no such thing as instant gratification when it comes to starting a business. It is a long journey. A marathon, not a sprint. Do not cheat yourself by thinking that you will be different from everyone else and start making enough money to live off of your business in the first few weeks, months, or even year. That is a huge disservice to you and your business. Instead, just like a newborn, allow it time to grow and mature. When given the proper care and time to grow, your business can flourish. If, however, you come into it with unrealistic expectations, you'll throw in the towel way too soon and you might throw away a business idea that otherwise could have been successful if you had given it 2 to 3 years to develop.

There you have it! In my experience, these are the 3 most critical things to think about and strategize when you're starting your own business. When you nail down these 3 things, your chance of success dramatically improves. Need help with them? I took an amazing business school course by Marie Forleo called B-School which educated me on these principles. She only offers her B-School course once a year, so check it out and see when it starts next. I also offer business mentoring services if you prefer one-on-one attention. You can read more about my mentoring service here. I'd be happy to help you establish a solid business foundation built upon these 3 elements.

If you're starting your own business, changing careers, or pivoting your career in some way as a result of the coronavirus, cheers to you! It will not always be easy but I do believe it will be worth it.

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am sharing more about my daily mantra practice. If you've been following me on Instagram you already know that I've been sharing the daily mantras I've been using to get through this challenging period. The coronavirus has wreaked havoc on all of our lives and one way I've been trying to cope is by changing the negative story lines in my head into positive ones. For example, my mantra today is "Some of the most negative experiences of my life have paved the way for some of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and I know this time will be no different." Every time I feel negative thoughts coming on strong, I'll say this mantra silently to myself. Our thoughts shape our reality! And everything is a matter of perspective. Last week, I wrote in detail about this daily practice (you can read that here) and this week I wanted to share how I actually used mantras as a helpful tool in quitting my lawyer job and starting my own business.

First up, I told you last week why mantras work. I think they work because they reframe the story you've got running through your head. You can repeat negative thoughts all day long, or you can repeat positive thoughts all day long. Those thoughts create stories about what you believe is going to happen and they can be very powerful. Thoughts shape your reality. What you think about persists! So it's important that you control your thoughts and make sure they're more positive than they are negative. For all those control freaks out there, this is good news! You can't control much, but you can control the thoughts running through your head. I don't think it's possible to think positive thoughts 100% of the time but, on average, as long as you think more positive thoughts than you do negative thoughts I think you'll be just fine.

So, when I wanted to make a big career change from lawyer to jewelry business owner, I became very aware of the powerful negative stories that were holding me back. And I started to change them by using mantras. This didn't happen overnight because, let me tell you, I had some pretty powerful negative stories about career and money running through my head. But slowly and surely, my beliefs and my stories changed. For example, one of the thoughts I had running through my mind was that I will never be able to make as much money selling jewelry as I did as a lawyer. When I became aware of that belief, I realized how much it was creating my reality. If you believe you can't make a living selling jewelry, you won't and you'll march right on back to being a lawyer. If you believe on the other hand that you can make even more money selling jewelry than you ever did as a lawyer, you will. It really is that simple. I want you to read that again. It really is that simple. I have concrete evidence of this. I had a jewelry business ten years ago, in 2010, and it failed after about 12 months and I had to go back to being a lawyer. Why? I didn't believe I deserved to earn a living doing something I love. I didn't believe that a job could be fun. I didn't believe I could earn enough money to support myself making jewelry. But this time around, with grace + hudson, I DO believe I deserve to earn a living doing something I love. I do believe that work can (and should!) be fun and enjoyable. I do believe I can earn enough money to support myself. And you know what, that's exactly what's shown up for me this time around. What changed, you ask? Well, I did a lot of self-development work on myself. I mean, a TON of work on myself. And it was hard. And it brought up a lot of tears and caused me to examine a lot of things about myself, some of which I didn't particularly like. But I am standing here today a changed person, a happier person, and a person who feels at peace with life. So please believe me when I tell you that the only person holding you back is YOU. I've been there and I see it so clearly now. I was holding myself back the whole time with these negatives ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and stories about how the world works and what was possible for me and my career.

If this resonates with you, what comes next? I think the first step is becoming aware of the stories, beliefs, thoughts, and ideas that are ruling your life and shaping your career. Some will be positive, but many will likely be negative. This is the hardest part. It's hard to be honest with ourselves about the storylines running in our head, and we also have a lot of blindspots. Let me give you an analogy: I was born in May so I'm a Taurus and we are notoriously stubborn, but it's hard for me to admit that I'm stubborn sometimes. A person will call me stubborn and I'll basically gasp and say, "Who? Me?" This is what happens when we start to honestly look at our stories and beliefs around our career (or any area of our life). You might think you're a positive person, but upon further examination you might realize that you actually have quite negative storylines surrounding your career. But you won't want to see it. You won't want to believe it. This is where the personal, self-development works comes into play. It takes a lot of courage to admit where we are weak, and where we can do better. And then it takes a lot of strength to change our ways. Like me, you might find you need the help of a therapist depending on the strength of your negative storylines and that is nothing to be ashamed about. Once you've identified your negative storylines, the rest is (comparatively speaking) easy. Decide upon a positive storyline and start repeating it to yourself - in time, you'll begin to believe it. It'll drown out the negative storyline. And then that'll have a causal effect on what you see start to show up for you!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I wanted to talk again about the taboo topic of money. I think it's so important to talk more about this topic because there's so much shame and fear around it, and it is for sure the number one reason why people (a) stay stuck in jobs they don't like and (b) refuse to pursue the career or business dreams in their hearts. I went to a goal setting networking event last week and the leader of the discussion mentioned that one of the top 3 fears that holds people back from going after their dreams and goals is the fear of losing their comforts. Our comforts include major things like our homes and our cars, but also more luxurious things like wine, online shopping, vacations, and the latest and greatest running shoes. I think we should protect the major comforts we are fortunate to have like our homes and cars, but are we holding ourselves back from going after our goals and dreams for fear of losing the minor comforts of life for a little while? And I stress, "for a little while"? This was something I had to ask myself before I quit my lawyer job in 2017 to start grace + hudson. I was a lawyer for 11 years and became used to a six-figure income. I had to decide whether to prioritize (a) the comfort of a nice paycheck and all that brought with it or (b) my dream of owning a jewelry business which would require me to forgo some of my comforts for a little while. I obviously chose (b) but it definitely took some courage, faith, and trust.

Let's talk about the big comforts of life first - my apartment, my car, that sorta thing. At the end of the day, I knew that I wouldn't end up homeless, broke, at rock bottom. I trusted myself enough to know that I WOULD NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN. And I have a feeling that's true for you, too. Worst come to worst, I knew that if my ability to pay my rent or make my car payment was threatened, I could get a side hustle or even go back to being a lawyer full-time. Truth be told, the first time I tried to quit my lawyer job in 2010 to start a jewelry business, I did in fact have to go back to being a lawyer full-time. Yep that's right - about 6 months into running my brick + mortar jewelry store, I ran out of money (starting a store is expensive!) so I took a full-time lawyer position, hired some part-time employees to be in the store while I was at the office, and managed to do both for a while until I realized the store was not sustainable in the long-term. I think it's this first experience of failure that gave me the courage to try starting my own jewelry business a second time in 2017 - I knew that I wasn't going to die if it didn't work out. All kidding aside, I feel like people think a big decision like quitting your job to start a business or changing careers is life or death, and it just isn't! If it doesn't work out, chances are you'll just go back to what you were doing before.

Now for the small comforts of life - you know, the monthly massage, the gym membership, the stops at Nordstrom for new shoes, the weekend getaways. The truth is, yes, I had to give up some of these things and put the money I would've spent on them towards my business. But I am here to tell you that it was 100% worth it. You know what I learned in the process? I was buying some of those things - like the new shoes - and I "needed" some of those things - like the monthly massages - because of the stress that my lawyer job caused me. When I started my business and started to do work I enjoyed, I no longer had these internal "holes" that needed filling with new shoes, and massages, and weekend getaways. In other words, saving money and being careful with how I spent my money was much easier than I expected. All of a sudden, I had this new business I wanted to nurture and grow, and it felt silly to spend money on yet another black sweater to add to my collection, for example. Sure, there were more difficult sacrifices that had to be made like less frequent trips to beachy destinations (my soul just craves trips to the beach), but I completely understood that it was temporary. Temporary sacrifices for long-term gain. And - side note - two years into my post-lawyer life as a jewelry business owner, I actually moved to a beachy destination so it all evened out in the end!

So what I'm trying to tell you is this: starting your own business or making that big career change that entails a pay cut for a little while is going to require you to get a little uncomfortable. You're going to have to give up some of your comforts for a little while and re-prioritize how you spend money. It might be a little painful at times, but it's not as bad as you might expect. Please, I beg you, do not let the comforts stop you. Do not let the comforts hold you back. Going after that dream you have - whether it works out in the end or not - is so much more fulfilling than buying another pair of shoes or going on a vacation. Trust me, I can speak from experience. If it does work out, that temporary period of making sacrifices is going to eventually end and you're going to reach a place where you can again afford the expensive shoes and vacation. And if it doesn't work out, that temporary period of making sacrifices is going to end too - you'll get another job (probably like the one you had before) and you'll again eventually be able to afford all the comforts of life you missed. In either case, you're going to find out that you were enriched by the experience of pursuing the goal or the dream in ways that money simply can't buy. And you know what else? I bet you're going to respect your money a whole lot more too because you'll understand it's worth a little more. It's a win-win all around. 

Cheers to getting a little uncomfortable in 2020! 

P.S. If you want to make a career change or start your own business but money is the biggest thing holding you back, I invite you to join my Virtual Book Club which kicks off in February. The first book we're going to be reading together deals with money because, let's face it, it's usually the thing that holds us back. You can read more about my Virtual Book Club and sign up for it here.

xoxo,

Stacy