Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm sharing the most influential books I've read along my journey. Switching from a very traditional professional, like the law, to a creative, entrepreneurial gig was a huge transformation and it spanned several years. It started in 2014 when I lost my father to cancer. He had just turned 65 years old. Losing a parent made me understand my own mortality in an entirely different way. It sparked a burning desire to live a more fulfilling life. I resolved to get out of the legal profession once and for all because life is far too short to spend so many of my waking hours working in a career I hated. I often pondered the question "Why are we here?" because I knew it wasn't to spend 60+ hours a week in an office working at a job I didn't like, with the aim of saving enough money to someday retire in my 60's, move to a beach, and finally start living life. You see, that was my father's plan and he passed away before he got the chance. That's why you'll see some grief-related books on this list, and books that relate to the meaning of life. You'll also see books related to getting through hard times, creating a vision for your life, and learning to truly live in the present because that's all we're ever guaranteed. What if you never make it to retirement, like my father? Will you be satisfied with how you've lived your life? If not, I highly encourage you to explore this question and dig into some of these books. It can light a spark in you to truly make some changes - changes that will lead you towards living a more fulfilling life. I hope you'll find some of these books as helpful as I did. 

1. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

My favorite! Very instrumental in changing my perspective on life, work, and relationships. This book is based off another book called A Course In Miracles, which asserts the theory that everything we do, think, and say either stems from love or stems from fear. This was very eye-opening for me because I realized that so many of my actions were coming from a place of fear, doubt, worry, and anxiety. Rather than love, joy, peace, and empowerment. When we make decisions from a place of love, and stop letting doubt, worry and fear control our lives, things change dramatically. 

2. You Are a Badass and You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

This book explores a lot of the same concepts as A Return to Love, but it's written in a very funny style as you might guess from the title. I also recommend the author's book on money because, let's face it, money is the number one thing that holds us back from pursing our dreams. You must examine and clean up any negative thoughts and feelings around money if you're going to see true abundance in your life.

3. The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein

This book is helpful if you're having a hard time believing that you'll be ok if you take some risks and make some big changes. The Universe (or whatever word you prefer - God, Divine Power, etc) will have your back if you are being true and authentic to yourself and make changes that are in line with that.

4. Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss

The author of this book believes we all have a purpose and an assignment in being here on this planet at this time, and she calls that our "sacred contract" to fulfill. If you're not in line with that contract, you are going to feel "off" and perhaps evenas if you're betraying your own soul (this is how I felt when I was a lawyer). This book is great if you know you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, but you don't know what to do next. In my opinion, this book is very tough to get through but the concept is phenomenal. I'd recommend you Google Oprah's very old interview with the author and watch that. Then, if you're hungry for more, read the book.

5. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

6. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Books #5 and #6 are great reads if you're seeking to understand the purpose for your life and/or need some encouragement to pursue that purpose.

7. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

8. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

9. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (the first few chapters are particularly excellent if the voice in your head is always going, going, going and you can never find any stillness or peace of mind)

10. The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

Books #7 through #10 are about living in the present and finding happiness outside of the material things our society has taught us to value like job titles, getting married, the size of your home, the brand of your car, etc. Happiness does not come from checking each box off on this life "checklist" - happiness comes from living your authentic path, and that looks different for everyone.

11. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

If you want to make a big change, like a massive career change, you are going to need some courage. I like how this author explores the concept of courage and how to be true to yourself.

12. Life Visioning by Michael Bernard Beckwith

This is one of my favorite books on creating a vision for your life and finding your purpose, but the author has a very distinct style and he might not be for everyone. I recommend you purchase this on Audible so that you can do the guided meditations with the author. This is also a great book for understanding the various mental states - for example, are your thoughts stemming from a victim mentality (e.g. "everything bad happens to me") or do you believe you are entitled to a great life? Your thoughts create your reality and I think this author does a great job of helping you recognize the area where your thoughts might be incredibly negative.

13. May Cause Miracles 40-Day Guidebook by Gabrielle Bernstein

All of the books on this list are great and all of them are basically saying the same thing on some level, but none of the information in these books is going to be useful to you in real life unless you apply it. This guidebook was really important for me in building a daily practice of applying this information to my own life. I recommend the Audible version so you can listen to each of the 40 days while you get ready in the morning for work or on your commute.

The following books are grief-related and/or explore getting through hard times. These were instrumental for me in understanding the bigger picture, what really matters in life, and what I really want for my own life:

14. Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser

15. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

16. Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

17. God Will Use This for Good by Max Lucado

18. Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani

19. There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne Dyer (contrary to what you might think, this is not a religious book - "spiritual" is used in the non-religious sense. It does assume however that you believe in some sort of divine or universal higher power)

20. The Shack by William Paul Young (also a movie which I really enjoyed)

I hope one of these books piques your curiosity! Honestly, I devoured book after book over a one-year period when I was in intense therapy after my father passed. My life was not working for me. I was not happy. Something needed to change. I was hungry for knowledge on questions like, "why am I here?", "how can I make changes to become a happier person?", "how can I fulfill my purpose?", "how can I use this life to the fullest?" If you know there's got to be more to life, but you just don't know where to begin, start with reading some of these books. There is so much information out there on how to live a better life. Be open. Be willing to see life a little differently. And soon enough, ideas will start to flow. You'll start to understand what you want, and what changes you need to make. It doesn't happen overnight, but it will all come together. For me, it took about 3 years to make big changes. In the grand scheme of things, 3 years is a tiny blip on the radar. So take it slow - there's no need to rush into anything. It'll all happen exactly the way it's supposed to.

xoxo,

Stacy  

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I wanted to talk about how you should react when you get the dreaded response of "get real" when you tell a friend or family member about your plan to start your own business or make a big career change. We've all been there, right? We have a wild or maybe even a not-so-wild dream in our heart and when we tell a family member or friend about it, they chuckle and say, "in your dreams" or "come on, get real." We walk away defeated and wonder if we're crazy to want to chase our dream. If we're being foolish. If it's silly to think that it's possible to do work you really enjoy and get paid for it too.  

Here's the thing - chasing your dreams is not the norm in our culture. What's the norm? Having a job you don't like (or, if you're lucky, you kinda sorta like it), counting down the days until the weekend, and planning to retire at age 65 and start living life then. If you try to go against the norm, many people aren't going to understand and be supportive.They'll think you're foolish or crazy for trying. They'll tell you to come down out of the clouds and "get real." Why? I think there are two reasons for this.

First, if these statements are coming from someone who truly loves and cares about you like a parent or spouse, I do believe this type of reaction is often coming from a place of love. Although it can be hurtful to hear this type of reaction, they probably want to protect you. Make sure you don't fall on your face. They don't want you to give up your stable current job to pursue something that involves risk and isn't guaranteed to work out. Sometimes we just have to smile and nod and know they mean well. 

Second, you might hear someone tell you to "get real" because your plan to pursue a dream is threatening to them and their belief system. If you break the mold, they might be forced to think about why they've stayed stuck in the norm. That's scary. It might force them to question the decisions they've made, the position they're in, and whether they need to make a change. Change is scary and most people would rather put a paper bag over their head and avoid it. In other words, these statements reflect more about them and less about you. I was reading a book last week and the author said that when you tell someone about your dream or goal and they respond with "get real" what they really mean is "get small." I absolutely love that. The next time this happens to you, I want you to take it as a compliment. Seriously. When someone tells you to "get real" say "thank you" to yourself in your head (not out loud) because it means that you have the courage to think big. You have the courage to believe that you deserve a better life. You have the self-esteem to realize that you are entitled to a great life, not a mediocre one. These are such critical ingredients to making big, positive change in your life. In my opinion, without the courage and self-esteem to think big, believe you deserve better, and go after the big life we all deserve, I believe you can't reach your dreams and goals. In fact, I know this to be true from personal experience. I quit my lawyer job not once, but twice, to open a jewelry business and the first time I failed. This was back in 2010. After much reflection, I concluded that it was because I didn't believe I deserved a big life, a better life. This time, 10 years later, I know I'm succeeding because my mindset has completely changed. I DO believe I'm entitled to a great life. I DO believe I deserve better than spending the majority of my waking hours in a job I hate. I DO believe that it's possible to earn money doing work I love.   

Let me leave you with this quote from Author Marianne Williamson. She wrote one of my favorite books called A Return To Love. It helped me change the way I see the world and how I think about myself and the world around me. I highly recommend it. In short, she writes about how most of us perceive ourselves and the world around us through the lens of fear (and fear includes things like anger, doubt, frustration, and other negative emotions) and how it's possible to change our perspective and perceive ourselves and the world through the lens of love (which includes all the positive emotions). The passage that is most quoted from her book is below. Whenever I get caught in the trap of "feeling small" I often pull out this quote to remind myself that I can choose differently. 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.* Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

*Marianne Williamson tells you to feel free to replace the word "God" with whatever higher power you believe in - the Universe, the divine power that runs the world, etc.

Cheers to living the big, amazing life we all deserve!

xoxo,

Stacy   

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm again talking about money. Why money? Because it's the #1 block to pursuing your passions! If you have big goals for 2020 and they either (a) require money or (b) involve making money, working on your mindset around money will be time well spent (pun intended). Money mindset is something I've personally struggled with and am working hard to overcome. I just had a lot of negative stories and beliefs around money that weren't true or accurate. I've made some strides (for example, I now earn money from a jewelry business that brings me joy instead of a lawyer job that brought me anxiety) and I love sharing what I've been able to learn. In this week's journal entry, I'd like to share 7 different practical tools for reshaping your money mindset so that we head into 2020 with more abundance and a more grateful heart.

In some ways, improving our money mindset is similar to exercising to feel healthier or lose weight. It requires daily work. It takes practice and it gets easier the more you do it. You'll start to see little results and then those will motivate you to strive for bigger results. You'll fall off the wagon when things get busy and then you'll need to get back on. And even when your money mindset improves, you'll still need to keep up a daily practice to "maintain." When you look at improving your frame of mind in this light, it takes a little of the pressure off. It's a daily habit that will eventually become part of your routine, but in the beginning it's going to be a little tough. So here are some tools that I've used to help steer my money mindset into a more positive direction. I've read a lot of books and articles on the topic, and these are the ones that have worked for me:

1. Educate yourself! You don't go into the weight lifting section of the gym and just start pumping iron. You need to understand what the machines do, learn proper form, and most importantly identify the exercises that are going to help you with your weak spots. It's the same here. A daily practice of trying to improve your money mindset isn't going to work if you don't understand your weak spots. What stories about money are holding you back? Maybe you overspend, maybe you're frugal to the point that it's a real problem. Maybe you earn a lot of money in your current job but you hate the work you do. Or maybe you love your job but you know you aren't getting paid what you're worth. Maybe your parents gave you everything on a silver platter and you don't know how to manage money now, or maybe your parents did not make enough money and now you hoard every dollar you are able to earn. We all have different backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints around money. I identified some common money stories in my original journal entry on money mindset here and you can see if any of those resonate with you. I also highly recommend reading the book called You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (you can find it here on Amazon). It's a funny read with TONS of valuable information regarding the money stories we all tell ourselves.

2. Keep a daily log of all the forms of money that come to you. Track the in-flow of money for a few weeks. Don't worry about the out-flow of cash for purposes of this exercise. This log should include not only your regular paycheck from work, but also things like the dollar bill you found on the street, the free flu shot you received at work (value $40), the $5 you saved on your lunch bill because you used a customer loyalty coupon, the coffee your co-worker treated you to ($2 value), the $2.50 you saved because the meter spot you pulled into already had enough time left in it for you to run your errand. Include everything and I mean EVERYTHING. The purpose of this exercise is for you to realize how abundant you already are. Sure, you might not have a million dollars in the bank, but that's not required to feel abundant. We are all FAR more wealthy than we recognize, especially in comparison to certain parts of the world. This log will help you become a little more grateful for all the ways abundance comes into your life, and we all know what happens when you're grateful -- you become a magnet for more abundance! (This exercise comes from an author named Denise Duffield-Thomas).

3. Say thank you every time you use your debit or even your credit card. Every time you run your debit or credit card through the machine at the checkout line, say "thank you." It doesn't need to be out loud, just say it in your head. The "thank you" is a grateful statement to the Universe or God (or whatever power you believe in) that you have the funds to pay for your everyday needs. Even if you're putting your dinner on a credit card, you are in the position to even HAVE credit and that's something to be grateful for. (I learned this exercise from author Gabby Bernstein).

4. Say thank you every time you pay a bill. Similar to #3, every time you pay a bill or pay your rent, say "thank you." You received housing, water, electricity, etc in return for the charges on that bill. Don't groan, be thankful! We tend to overlook such everyday conveniences, when we really should be grateful for them. This will transform the negative energy you have around paying bills to one of gratitude. The Universe or God responds to a grateful heart! If you aren't appreciating what you have now, why should the Universe give you more?

5. Have a mantra and read it before you sit down to pay your bills. Whenever I sit down to pay my bills, I first take out this little sheet of paper on which I've written a powerful statement. It says something like, "Thank you Universe for reshaping my relationship to money. I release my fears around money and I welcome new abundant thoughts. I am abundant." Instead of groaning while I pay my bills (negative energy), this mantra helps me get into a grateful spirit (positive energy). This little practice can really kickstart a money mindset transformation! (I believe I also learned this exercise from Gabby Bernstein).

6. Respect your money. As a former lawyer, this one was a little challenging for me. I used to make 6 figures with no kids and no house, so I didn't really need to worry about how I spent my money. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just walk around throwing money at people. I wasn't an over-spender and I've never been a fan of designer labels, but I still didn't respect my money as much as I should have back then. If I had, I would have a lot more in savings today. For example, I spent close to $500/month on workout classes when I lived in Chicago (recovering SoulCycle addict here!). I probably should have cut way back on my workout budget and used that extra money towards my student loan debt instead. But, hey, hindsight is 20/20 and that brings me to point number 7.

7. Forgive yourself. It is really easy to beat yourself up for the things you have and haven't done when it comes to money. But those mistakes are in the past and when you know better, you will do better. The vast majority of us did not grow up with parents who taught us how to have a good relationship with money, or even how to manage money. But you can teach yourself now. It is never too late. So forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made, the debt you've acquired, and the low amount in your savings account. Forgiveness will create a more positive energy around money as you move forward and create a healthier relationship with money. So, every time you catch yourself with negative thoughts around money, say "I forgive myself. I am working towards a healthier relationship with money and that is something to be proud of."

I hope these little exercises are easy enough to incorporate into your everyday life. And I hope you start to see tiny shifts in your relationship to money. I sure did! And then those shifts will become larger, until you have a healthy, thriving, abundant relationship to money. 

Cheers to abundance in 2020!

xo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. With 2020 just a few weeks away, it's almost time to reflect on your goals for 2019 and how much you accomplished (or not!). Before you do that, I want to share a new way to look at goals that's been life-changing for me. It's not about whether or not you accomplished the goal - it's about who you've become along the way. How much did you grow? Did you become a better person? Did you acquire new skills? Did you learn new things? Did you meet new people? Did you learn more about yourself? Those are the important questions. When we become too focused on the outcome - the end game - we miss out on a huge part of the journey. In our American culture and particularly because of social media, many people want instantaneous results. They don't want to try unless the outcome is guaranteed. For example, I know a lot of people want to start their own business, but they want a guarantee that it's going to be successful before they'll even try. Not only is that unrealistic, it entirely ignores the learning, growth, and development that'll happen during the process. And that's where the true value is! 

I feel particularly qualified to talk about this topic because I had a business in 2010 that "failed." It was a brick and mortar jewelry store and I had to shut the doors after just one year. While one could label that an utter failure, I choose to look at it differently. I learned so much during that process and I met so many amazing people - business owners, customers, and even someone who turned into one of my very best friends. I am also 100% convinced that grace + hudson is thriving because of the knowledge and experience I gained from running that store. I constantly draw on the knowledge I gained there. This first jewelry store was an important step on my journey. Without it, there would be no grace + hudson.

We can apply this perspective to all aspects of our life, no matter whether our goal has to do with career, relationships, fitness, even weight loss. For example, say you'd like to lose 50 pounds. Sure, you'll focus on the number along the way, but losing that amount of weight is going to require you to love yourself more, treat yourself better, and value your health more. In other words, the journey to losing 50 pounds is most likely going to transform your relationship to yourself and increase your self-esteem. I'd argue that this is much more valuable than the 50 pounds, wouldn't you? What's more is that increased self-esteem and self-love is a lifelong gift you'll carry for many years to come and I bet it'll lead to transformations in other areas of your life, too. As another example, take the area of relationships - perhaps you got divorced this year and you have a child. Would you consider your marriage an utter failure? I'd say absolutely not - you created a life together - a child. And you undoubtedly grew and evolved as a person during the marriage. Does that sound like an utter failure? I sure hope not. 

When you look at your accomplishments in this new light, it takes a lot of the pressure off and you can give yourself a lot more credit for how far you've come. It's not about the end goal. Sure, that's great if it happens. But it's really about the journey. 

xo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In last week's Journal, I told you the #1 thing I did to change my entire reality and go from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In short, I became aware of the thoughts that were directing my life and learned how to direct them to what I want. If that sounds really esoteric or "woo woo" to you, it really just boils down to living super intentionally and I encourage you to read the entire journal entry here. It takes a lot of practice (ok, TONS of practice) to live this way, as 99% of us were never taught how to do this and grew up with very different mental programming. Programming that focuses more on what's lacking from our lives than what's abundant, on what can go wrong instead of right, on our weaknesses rather than strengths. Sound like you? This sounded a lot like me until just a few years ago. In this journal entry, I'm going to try to convey to the best of my ability how I got myself out of the mental rut I found myself in when I was a lawyer and how I created a new reality for myself. This is really mainstream stuff at this point, so while I'll convey what worked for me, know that there are hundreds of authors writing and speaking about this topic these days and you can and will find one who resonates with you.

One last thing. This is something you need to learn how to do, which necessarily means you're going to need to study it and practice it. And oh will the universe/God* send you tests to quiz you on what you've learned! (*I use these terms interchangeably depending on whether or not you have a religious practice). We also have a tendency in this day and age to want immediate results or else we claim it doesn't work. That attitude is going to stop you before you even start. For me, it took about 18 months to really see major shifts (smaller shifts came more quickly). You know how yoga teachers always refer to yoga as a practice? What I'm sharing with you today is also a practice. It's something you need to choose to do day by day, even minute by minute. And just like yoga class, you get better the more you go. While you won't be able to do a headstand on day 2, with practice you'll get better and better at it. And again, just like yoga, you'll continue your practice over a lifetime. You never "graduate" but rather you realize with each new level you reach, there's different things to learn and new areas of your life to apply it to. Maybe you'll first apply it to your career, but in a couple of years you'll start applying it to your romantic and familial relationships. It's more of a pathway and a journey than a final destination. Whew, ok, after that long introduction here is the general pathway that unfolded for me.

1. Become aware of your thoughts

If you're not aware of them, you can't change them. If you're running like a crazy person through life full of too many demands and weeks that leave you on "E" with no gas in the tank, chances are you aren't even aware of your thoughts on a deep level (this was me). Instead, your mind is an endless stream of thought after thought, some of which are anxious, and you're constantly focusing on what needs to get accomplished due to the demands on your life. So the first thing to do is simply observe your thoughts. Try this: when you're sitting in the car, or on a train or plane for work this week, take a 2 to 3 minutes each morning to observe what's going on up there. What thoughts are swirling around? Do those thoughts tend to be anxious, hopeful, meaningless, silly, positive, harsh, judgmental? Just watch and generally take an inventory of what's going on. If you have time, write down a few of them in your notes app on your phone. At the end of the week, notice if there are any repetitive patterns or themes. There are probably going to be a few negative themes. This would include thoughts that are filled with self-doubt (ex: I can't believe I messed this up again, I'll never be able to do this correctly), self-deprecating (ex: I'm not smart enough to run my own business), angry (ex: this stupid client hasn't even replied to my email, what nerve!), and judgmental thoughts (example: why did she just post that picture on Instagram - her product looks awful in that lighting!).    

2. You versus your thoughts

If you did step #1, did you feel like an outsider in your own mind? Or at least an observer? You probably noticed that there was YOU and then there were the THOUGHTS (I'm going to continue to capitalize these for ease of reference). By deduction, this means YOU are not your THOUGHTS. YOU may have even felt that YOU had no say in what THOUGHTS were popping up. They just flooded in and covered an array of topics. Can you see the division? This is really important to understand because it sets you up for step 3. 

I think the most influential author on this topic is Eckhart Tolle. He wrote the book The Power of Now which is written in question and answer format. He also wrote a second book called A New Earth and I highly recommend them both. Oprah is a big fan of Eckhart and has done a lot of interviews with him. Sometimes this is easier than committing to a book - check them out on YouTube and on her podcast Super Soul Conversations.

3. YOU are more powerful than the THOUGHTS

When you realize you aren't your thoughts, this can be a little confusing. Like, wait, there are two of me? One producing the thoughts and one observing them? Which one is me? Yes, that's exactly right. Some authors will refer to the producer of the thoughts in your head as "ego" and to the person observing them as "spirit" or "soul." It doesn't matter which terms you use, as long as you understand that (a) YOU are not your THOUGHTS and (b) YOU are far greater than the THOUGHTS you have. In other words, spirit is more powerful than ego (if you choose to use those terms).

Same goes here - Eckhart Tolle is probably the most influential writer in this space so I'd check him out if you're struggling with understanding points #2 and #3.

4. YOU can control your THOUGHTS

If YOU are more powerful than your THOUGHTS, this means you can control your thoughts. For all you perfectionists out there (I'm a recovering one), you have full permission to control here. In fact, I'd argue that this is truly the one and only thing we have full power to control in this lifetime. Say it over and over again - "I can control my thoughts. I have power over my thoughts." Claim this, own it, repeat it, set it as an alarm reminder on your phone. Every time there's a negative thought, call it out! It can become a game you play - like "hey I see you negative thought!" Don't worry about making your thoughts more positive yet. For now, do all you can to feel powerful, in charge, and confident about your ability to control your thoughts. Feel it in your bones! 

At this point, you might start to ask yourself, how in the world are we not taking care of our minds like we are our bodies? How are we not taught this? I just love the analogy to working out. A lot of us place working out high on the priority list for the week, but we do absolutely nothing about our minds. And our minds are far more powerful than our bodies. What goes on in our minds all day long literally creates our reality. I think this is part of the mental health conversation. In any case, be thankful that you are willing, interested, and able to become in charge of your thoughts.

5. Change the thought 

Once you fully commit to your power over your thoughts, you can start to change the thoughts. Remember this though: if you're like the majority of the population, negative thoughts bombard you all day long, so recognize this is a moment-by-moment choice. It is not easy, and you don't need to do this perfectly. It's a practice. Right now, you just want to build up your muscles. Eventually, you will naturally think more positively and dispose of the negative thoughts. But right now, it's going to be a struggle and that is completely normal. Liken it to working out - the first time you get in the gym is awful, but by month two you're in the routine and starting to feel pretty good. It takes a ton of practice, but stick with it.

This is how I like to change the thought:

(1) a negative thought creeps in my head;

(2) I call it out; and then I either

(3) flip it around (example: if the thought was "I feel like I never have enough money to pay my bills", I say to myself, "I always seem to come up with the money I need to pay my bills on time. Thank you universe for the abundance you show me!")

or

(4) I say a little prayer to myself, "I surrender this thought to the universe/God. Please take it from me." When the negative thought is a tough one - you know, one that really stings or stabs you in the heart, I tend to use the prayer method because it's more effective for me. Say this prayer as many times as you need. Eventually, you'll feel strong enough to flip it around and make it positive.

6. Enough changed thoughts add up to a belief

Last but not least, it's not enough to change the thought to a positive one. You need to believe the more positive thought. You need to believe the universe/God is taking your negative thought from you, or you need to believe how you re-framed it into a positive. For example, in the paying bills example, it's not enough to say "thank you for the abundance you show me." You truly need to believe in that abundance and feel grateful for it. The universe/God can tell when you're faking it! This is the most challenging step for sure, but know that the more times you call out the repetitive thought that is holding you back and replace it with a positive one or pray for help to take it away, eventually you're going to start to believe it.   

For me, the most persistent thought that was holding me back was, "I can't make enough money doing something I love. I can either do something I'm passionate about and struggle to pay bills, or I can do something I don't like and be financially secure. The two are mutually exclusive." I started to call out this thought, then I would say, "I can earn more money having a jewelry business than I ever did as a lawyer." And I eventually started to believe it (it took a few months). I hope you'll start to feel the same way about your business idea. It is possible. 

Of course there were 100s of other things I did on the journey from lawyer to business owner and I hope to share them all over the course of this Journal. But by far, the most crucial thing I did was stop being such a negative thinker. It held me back in so many ways. It kept me stuck. It made me feel helpless at times. And worst of all, at one point in my life, I wasn't even aware that I had so many negative thoughts. So, cheers to becoming more aware this week! That is certainly the most difficult part.

xo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. I always get asked how I managed to quit my job as a lawyer and start my own jewelry business. I'll admit it was a drastic leap - going from a "prestigious" profession to a creative job, from a big paycheck to an uncertain financial stream, from being employed by a large company to being my own boss. A lot of people tell me they want to do the same thing but "How?! How did you do it?!" they ask. And believe me, I get it! It seems so far-fetched that this actually worked out. I still look back in shock and surprise sometimes. But I've finally determined the #1 most crucial thing I did to quit my lawyer job, start my own business and have it succeed more or less. You probably aren't going to like the answer because you probably want a step-by-step list of instructions and hear about the number one thing on the list. But it's not about the list. It has nothing to do with the "practical" concerns related to starting a business. It's about you. 

Let me try to make an analogy. Think about the woman who wants to get pregnant. She does everything right - she reads all the books, sees all the doctors, gets all the tests, passes all the tests, uses all the tools and resources, takes all the vitamins, and yet she struggles to get pregnant despite all the conditions being optimal. She stresses out about it and it's actually her frantic energy and negative cycle of worry that pushes away what she most wants. It's the same thing with a business. You can do all the things. But unless you are in the right headspace for it, it's not going to work out. It just won't.

I know this because I had a business in 2010 and it failed. And the reason it failed despite my best efforts is because I was not in the right headspace. This was subconscious at the time but I see it clearly now: I didn't believe I could make a living selling jewelry. I was used to a big law firm paycheck and I just didn't believe I could earn a similar wage doing something I love. Now there's plenty of people making millions selling jewelry, so jewelry wasn't the problem. I was the problem. I didn't believe I deserved a life doing something I enjoy. And sure enough, the universe closed the door on my first business and I went back to being a lawyer (i.e. doing something I didn't like, because that's what I thought I deserved).

The universe, God, the divine (whatever name you want to call it) is very simple. It operates on clearly defined rules. And those rules aren't based on your education level, your income, your gender, your race. The universe doesn't see those things. In short, you tell the universe what you believe and the universe delivers the right set of circumstances to fulfill that belief. It really is that simple. The problem is, we aren't aware of the defeating, negative, critical beliefs we hold, nor do we know how to effectively change them to something more positive. You might say you believe you deserve to work in a job you love, but do you really believe that in your heart and soul? If you haven't seen the changes you're desiring, chances are "no." You say you do, but you don't believe you do. And that's what causes us to feel like victims - you know, the "I'm a good person, why am I stuck in this stupid job where I get treated like crap?" or "I'm doing everything right, why won't this business take off?!" Until we accept that our thoughts are powerful things that create our reality, and that we have to learn how to control them and harness them for good, life is going to continue to feel unfair. 

Let's face it, most of us aren't taught how to be aware of our thoughts and direct them to what we want. But that's ok. We can teach ourselves. I taught myself! It takes a lot of practice, but I promise you it's the #1 thing I did to change my entire reality - it's the #1 thing that helped me go from lawyer to jewelry business owner. Think of it this way, we workout multiple times per week to improve and strengthen our bodies, and we need to do the same thing with our minds. Otherwise, those thoughts are just running around in circles up there and those circular, defeating thoughts are creating our reality. But just like working out, slowly but surely we get stronger, we get better at the exercises, and before we know it we're running a marathon.  

If you're new to mindfulness as well as living and thinking intentionally, I know this entry was a lot to digest. So I'm going to stop here and in next week's Weekly Journal, I'll tell you how I taught myself to get out of the negative rut I was in and how I learned to control my thoughts and make them more positive. For now, try to accept that if you are in a job that you do not like, your thoughts got you there. But also accept that once you change your thoughts to be more positive (and this might take months) you'll see that you're no longer a match for the job you hate. It's seriously fascinating stuff. And it's becoming really mainstream at this point so there are tons and tons of resources and authors out there to connect with and learn from if you are wanting and willing to do the work.

You've probably heard me say this before: work on your mindset more than your website and you'll have a successful business. And this is exactly what I'm talking about! Cheers to becoming more aware of the thoughts that are (literally) running your life and the new power you can find to control them.

xo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal I'm sharing some real talk about making your dream a reality and I promise I won't sugarcoat it. The dream is the easy part, making it come true - not so much. Whether your dream is to start your own business, find the love of your life, move to an island and open a yoga studio, have a child...we all have them! To dream about our wildest hopes coming true is part of being human. But the real question is: what are you willing to do to make your dream come true? This is where most people get tripped up (and again, I think this is part of being human!). It can be scary, uncertain, and risky to take steps towards manifesting your dream into real life. It also can require a lot of work, a lot of discipline, and a lot of sacrifice. Few are willing to roll up their sleeves and get to work, and many want it handed to them on a silver platter. What's that quote I'm thinking of? Nothing worth having comes easy. Yes, something like that. And the bigger your dream, the more it's going to take. So where does that leave you? 

First and foremost, you have to make friends with the fact that some sort of sacrifice is going to be required. Maybe you need to invest a lot of time into your dream, maybe it's money. Maybe you're going to need to get a little uncomfortable for a while. Maybe you're going to need to work really hard on your mindset to make your dream come true - you know, change the negative beliefs that are holding you back. You get the idea. I truly think *this* is the main sticking point that most people can't get beyond. People want things to change and they want their dreams to come to pass, but they aren't willing to change anything about their current situation to get there. Let me give you an example. I hear from a lot of lawyers who want to leave the practice of law and start their own business of some sort, but many of them say, "Well, I don't want to change my standard of living though." Code for: I make 6 figures now, I have gotten used to a cushy life and I'm not willing to give that up. Really? Not even if it means seeing your dream come to life? Here's the deal: making some sacrifices now for a little while could potentially add up to a lifetime of happiness. Isn't that worth the "pain" of giving up the lifestyle you're used to? Let me tell you from firsthand experience, it is!

When I left my lawyer job in 2017, I was at this crossroads in my life: buy a condo or quit my job and try to make my dream come true. I had saved enough money to put a nice down payment on a condo in downtown Chicago, but there was a nagging thought in the back of my head that I should use that money to quit my job and start my own business. I chose the latter, which means I still rent and I don't own a home (and I'm 39 years old). That's the main "sacrifice" I made to start grace + hudson (I use the term "sacrifice" loosely as I realize some people never even get the chance to buy their own home). I am so glad I made that decision for myself because it gave me financial flexibility - I am not handcuffed to a certain income level in order to pay a hefty mortgage each month. And you know what else has come of it? The money I make now feels good - it makes me so proud to earn a living from something I love to do and I know it's going to feel so good to buy a home someday. The money I made when I was a lawyer didn't feel good, and I know the home I bought with that money wouldn't feel good in the long run either.  

The point I'd like to leave you with is this: everything is a decision. Everything. When it comes to the dream of business ownership, you can prioritize home ownership or luxuries like expensive coffee and weekend trips away or you can prioritize saving money for your dream by, for example, downsizing to a smaller apartment so you can quit your job. Realize that the power is in your hands. It is your choice. Own it. Own your choice. It'll empower you, even if you decide to choose the stable paycheck over business ownership. And for some of you that might be the reality. So when you embrace the fact that you're choosing a stable job with a nice paycheck over the risk of business ownership, you can let the business dream go and be happy where you are. And maybe a different dream, like adopting a child into your stable home, will come to greet you. In either case, decide, own your decision, and stop pining for what you don't have. The grass is always greener...until you decide to let yourself feel empowered by the choices you have made.    

xo,

Stacy 

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. By request, in this week's journal I'm talking about overcoming perfectionism. It's something I've struggled with in the past and worked really, really hard to overcome. I'm also going to tell you why being a perfectionist will ultimately block you from starting your own business.

What is perfectionism anyway? Some people joke, "Oh I'm a perfectionist ha ha ha..." but there are deep rooted issues underlying perfectionism. My definition is striving for unattainable ideals because we feel we are being judged by others and want to please them to prove our own worth. Ouch. You may have never thought about it that way. People can strive for perfection in career, in relationships, in their physical body by working out, in all sorts of things, but there is one common denominator underlying them all: a feeling of unworthiness. We think that if we are "perfect", we are proving to ourselves and more importantly to the world that we are worthy of {insert your desired achievement, emotion, outcome, etc}. A lot of times, we are trying to be perfect to prove to the world that we are worthy of love - and that's not just romantic love. It could be love in the form of admiration of the people you work with, for example. Or love in the form of approval from your parents.

Let's get real about perfectionism for a second. Perfection is unattainable! Read that again. Unattainable. It's a manmade trap! Why? Because there is no such thing as perfection! Humans are not intended to be perfect, they are intended to be themselves. Authentic and real and true. And that's going to look different for everyone. So striving for perfection is in and of itself a manmade trap because you can never get there...perfection does not exist. And you'll only continue to beat yourself up...thereby continuing the cycle of not feeling worthy...by trying to attain something that is not attainable.    

Now, to really rock your world...did you ever consider that our imperfections are what make us real and authentic and true? When we learn to embrace our imperfections, we often grow in tremendous ways. We begin to see how they make us different, special, and unique. Our "imperfections" might cause us to see the world a little bit differently than the person sitting next to us, and that unique viewpoint - for example - might cause us to come up with a solution to a problem, that leads to a business idea, that leads to a thriving company. Also, admitting we have imperfections allows us to connect with people on a real, true level. How many times have you connected with a friend or coworker because you both are struggling with the same thing? The times are too many to count! There is beauty in imperfection.

For me, in particular, I think perfectionism came from childhood and schooling. I grew up with an excellent education, but school does teach you that you should strive for perfection by getting 100% on all of your tests and projects. In the real world though, there are no tests, gold stars, and 100 percents to be given out. I also grew up with a father who rewarded success at school. It was hard to get his attention and "approval" (i.e. love) in other ways, but he usually praised the 100%. So I think I grew up thinking that I need to get straight A's (i.e. be perfect) to gain the "love" of my father. Totally false, but as a kid you don't know any better. It's all subconscious. And then that belief ultimately translated into: let me get into an Ivy League college, let me go to law school, let me get the best six-figure lawyer job I can...all to prove I'm worthy...all to earn the "love" of my father (and all of this was subconscious of course). Perhaps you have a similar experience with one or both of your parents. Ironically, I started to uncover all of this false thinking in therapy after my father died. I went into therapy to process the grief from his death, but boy did it unlock a lot of other issues. That's a post for another day. I'll leave it at this: if you're anything like me, you might find really deep seated emotions at the core of your perfectionism, and it might require therapy to work through. I'm the biggest proponent of therapy - I don't think I'd be standing where I am today without it. The self-discovery that occurs is absolutely amazing and I'd highly encourage you to at least give it a try for a few sessions.   

So, do you now see how the focus of perfectionism is earning love and respect from others by trying to please and impress them? I hope so. If you do, it's easy to see why perfectionism will stop you from starting your own business. Starting your own business 9 times out of 10 requires you to go against the grain. Let's look at an example: Mom loves your 6-figure job as a doctor because it's stable, prestigious, and she's oh-so-proud to say she has a daughter who's a doctor. Well, when you tell mom that you are unhappy with your doctor job and want to start your own business as a clothing designer or baker or fitness studio owner (or whatever it may be!), she's probably not going to approve of it 100% out of the gate. It's easy to see why - it goes against what society deems "normal." It goes against the "traditional" career paths we are encouraged to take in school. Mom might withhold her approval for a while, and maybe even forever. And a perfectionist won't have this. Mom's disapproval is too heavy a burden to bear. And the perfectionist daughter will stay at her doctor job to earn and keep her mom's love. 

If you are struggling with perfectionism, I hope you found my experience with it to be enlightening. It can be overcome with some work. And it's incredibly freeing on the other side. Instead of striving for perfection, strive to be YOU - authentic, real and true.

xo,

Stacy 

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about one thing all successful entrepreneurs have in common: the ability to question everything. They're the ones that can look at something and say, "Why do we do it this way?" They're the ones that can examine a common habit and say, "Maybe there's an easier method." Their ability to question everything allows them to come up with innovative products and services that no one has ever thought of before. It allows them to see gaps and openings in the marketplace that no one has filled yet. Their ability to question is important for another reason - it usually gives them to courage to leave behind corporate America (or wherever they work) to pursue greener pastures. They have the ability to question the status quo and the current routine and say, "I deserve better. There is a better career path out there for me." Do you want to be an entrepreneur someday? Let's talk about this "ability to question" a little more then.

If you're struggling a bit to develop your "questioning" muscles, start by becoming a better observer. Observe the things around you and really think about how they fit into the big picture. Don't take anything for granted - from the simplest decision you make during your day to the most difficult. Think about why you do what you do and how you do what you do. Try it just for one day! Observing (instead of blindly going through the day) will naturally lead you to questioning.

This is how I started. Growing up, I was pretty quiet. I was always observing others, watching the things going on around me and analyzing how they fit into the big picture. For example, when I got my very first job at a law firm after graduating college (this was even before I went to law school), I was always observing how the attorneys around me seemed to "have it all" but seemed miserable at the same time. You know that "life checklist?" The one that goes something like this: go to a good college, get into a good grad school, get a well-paying job, find a great guy to marry, buy a house, get a dog, drive a nice car, have a baby, etc? Well, at this first job I had when I was 22, I noticed the attorneys seemed to have checked off all these boxes but they didn't seem happy. I questioned this a lot in my own head and came to the conclusion that achieving external "to do" lists must not be the road to a lifetime of happiness. I thought to myself, "Could you imagine that? Working so hard to check all of these things off your list, only to get to the end and not find happiness waiting there for you?" Geesh, what a let down.

Then, after I graduated law school, I got my first job as an attorney, and really started questioning retirement. Like, ok, I'm supposed to contribute to a 401(k) and save, save, save for retirement at age 65, but in the meantime I'm supposed to hate my life working at this draining, miserable office job? What if I don't make it to 65? Even if I do, at age 65, it tends to be harder to spend all day out in the sun at the beach, go parasailing, and do all the adventurous things we were made to do! "This can't be right," I thought. While these thoughts came really naturally to me, no one else seemed to think them. They all just accepted that "this is the way it is." But my heart was screaming out, "Why?! Why do we need to accept this?" I mean, think of the concepts "TGIF" and "weekend." "Thank God It's Friday" is such a well known phrase it became an acronym and even a restaurant. But isn't it so sad that we dislike our jobs so much that we, as a culture, say "TGIF?" Isn't it sad that we, more or less, live for the weekend?

These two observations, these two questions, really built the foundation for me quitting the legal profession altogether. Now, as an entrepreneur, I think it's kind of funny when someone says to me, "Have a good weekend" because I feel like I live all 7 days of the week! I'm no longer dying to get to the weekend. It's such a free and happy way to live, let me tell you.  

After I quit, my ability to question things led to success as an entrepreneur in multiple ways. First, when I started my jewelry line, I decided to make bridesmaid jewelry a focus. Why? Because no big companies were targeting this niche in the marketplace. Why not? Who knows! But I thought it made a great fit for my style of design. After doing some research and questioning of my own, I decided to go after this niche.

Then, when I was pricing my jewelry, I noticed that wedding jewelry in general seemed to be priced really high (like $250 for one pair of earrings at Nordstrom) or really low (like $20 for a pair of earrings on Etsy, the quality of which I couldn't be sure of). Why wasn't anyone filling the gap in the middle? Who knows! But again, after doing some research and questioning on my own, I decided to design a line that could be priced somewhere in the middle.

Now, 3 1/2 years into my jewelry business, I'm working on refining my business procedures and jewelry making processes, and my ability to question is crucial. It allows me to say, "Why do I do it this way? Could there be a better way?" My ability to question helps me to refine and streamline, over and over again. 

So you see, the ability to question sets you up for success as an entrepreneur. It's also incredibly useful for life outside of the office. For example, in today's world, where we just don't know what to believe anymore when we turn on the news, the ability to question things allows you to process and analyze the information being given to you, rather than just consume it and take it at face value. So very important today.

Develop those "questioning" muscles! They will take you far (and they make life more interesting, too!).

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about the skill of awareness. Awareness is so important in building a life and a career you love. However, many people lack a good set of awareness muscles so they end up doing things they don't like or things that don't fill their cup. And then they wind up feeling drained, unfulfilled, or frustrated without knowing why. Have you ever stopped to think about why you do what you do? Have you ever stopped to really think about the big decisions you've made and why you made them? Is it because everyone else did it that way? Or is it because someone said you should do it that way? Is it because your parents did it that way? Or maybe because you think people will respect you if you do it that way? If any of those answers hit a nerve, the key to feeling more freedom right now is acknowledging (i.e. having awareness) that you may have chosen something for reasons that no longer resonate with you or never did in the first place. 

Let's start by defining awareness. Awareness is "knowledge or perception of a situation or fact." I refer to awareness as a skill because I believe it's a muscle that needs to be exercised and developed. What is the opposite of awareness? I'd say it's being on autopilot or blind decision making. So many of us operate blindly on a day-to-day basis, doing things simply because "it's always been done that way." Or because our parents did it or our friends are doing it. For example, maybe you took a corporate job because both of your parents worked in corporate America and you never even gave it a second thought that there might be other types of great jobs out there. When we make decisions blindly or from autopilot mode, there's no real intention behind our decisions. And when we get in that zone, we can keep doing something (like going to the same job even though we dislike it) because it's easier to keep doing what we're doing than to make a big change. When we operate from this place (listen up here!) we are giving up our power to make real decisions. THAT is why we end up feeling empty, unfulfilled, bored, etc.

The goal, always, should be to do things intentionally for reasons that resonate with you. Sounds simple but so many don't operate from this perspective. That's ok, it takes practice! Every time you make a decision this week, no matter how small, try to recognize that you are actually making a decision. From what to eat for dinner to how to approach a difficult topic with your boss, recognize that each instance is giving you an opportunity to react and decide. It's so empowering to realize just how many decisions and, more importantly, options we have each and every day. And each decision shapes the life we live. Then, when you are consciously being faced with a decision, ask yourself, "Why am I doing what I'm doing?" Start small then work up to big decisions. For instance, perhaps you don't like your job and you recognize that, each and every day, you have the decision to show up for work or call out sick. Let your mind mull over the question, "Why do I get up each day to go to this job even though I don't like it?" Your mind might come up with ALL sorts of interesting information. Maybe you'll find that you're staying at your lawyer job (like I did) because it's a prestigious career and people are impressed that you have such a "great job" (Side note: it isn't a "great job" if you don't like it!). Maybe you'll determine it's all about the money. You know, it's just really nice to be able to comfortably pay bills and build a savings. Or maybe your mind will wander and you'll think, "You know, my dad only ever really praised me for good grades growing up" and you'll determine that you're carrying on in a "high-achieving" career because you subconsciously feel that's the only way to earn your father's respect and attention. Or maybe you'll find that, while you don't like being a lawyer, you don't really know what else you're qualified to do and so you just stay put because considering other options seems overwhelming. Mulling over your chosen decisions can be such an eye-opening exercise because, once you know the underlying forces behind your decisions, you can change them much more easily.

I wanted to touch on something that relates to this. In today's heated political climate, it's so important to ask yourself why. Are you voting Democrat because your mother always did? Are you voting Republican because your boyfriend is? Do you live in a big city where it's "cool" to be liberal and vote Democrat? Be more intentional than that! Research the parties, listen to people on both sides, be open-minded when evaluating the flaws of each party, etc. Don't blindly follow what your parents have always done, don't operate on autopilot. In other words, don't give up your power so easily. Be intentional. Your voice matters!

Cheers to growing our awareness muscles and making intentional decisions!

xoxo,

Stacy