Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. With 2020 just a few weeks away, it's almost time to reflect on your goals for 2019 and how much you accomplished (or not!). Before you do that, I want to share a new way to look at goals that's been life-changing for me. It's not about whether or not you accomplished the goal - it's about who you've become along the way. How much did you grow? Did you become a better person? Did you acquire new skills? Did you learn new things? Did you meet new people? Did you learn more about yourself? Those are the important questions. When we become too focused on the outcome - the end game - we miss out on a huge part of the journey. In our American culture and particularly because of social media, many people want instantaneous results. They don't want to try unless the outcome is guaranteed. For example, I know a lot of people want to start their own business, but they want a guarantee that it's going to be successful before they'll even try. Not only is that unrealistic, it entirely ignores the learning, growth, and development that'll happen during the process. And that's where the true value is!
I feel particularly qualified to talk about this topic because I had a business in 2010 that "failed." It was a brick and mortar jewelry store and I had to shut the doors after just one year. While one could label that an utter failure, I choose to look at it differently. I learned so much during that process and I met so many amazing people - business owners, customers, and even someone who turned into one of my very best friends. I am also 100% convinced that grace + hudson is thriving because of the knowledge and experience I gained from running that store. I constantly draw on the knowledge I gained there. This first jewelry store was an important step on my journey. Without it, there would be no grace + hudson.
We can apply this perspective to all aspects of our life, no matter whether our goal has to do with career, relationships, fitness, even weight loss. For example, say you'd like to lose 50 pounds. Sure, you'll focus on the number along the way, but losing that amount of weight is going to require you to love yourself more, treat yourself better, and value your health more. In other words, the journey to losing 50 pounds is most likely going to transform your relationship to yourself and increase your self-esteem. I'd argue that this is much more valuable than the 50 pounds, wouldn't you? What's more is that increased self-esteem and self-love is a lifelong gift you'll carry for many years to come and I bet it'll lead to transformations in other areas of your life, too. As another example, take the area of relationships - perhaps you got divorced this year and you have a child. Would you consider your marriage an utter failure? I'd say absolutely not - you created a life together - a child. And you undoubtedly grew and evolved as a person during the marriage. Does that sound like an utter failure? I sure hope not.
When you look at your accomplishments in this new light, it takes a lot of the pressure off and you can give yourself a lot more credit for how far you've come. It's not about the end goal. Sure, that's great if it happens. But it's really about the journey.