Why Do Some People Have The Courage To Pursue A Dream & Others Don't?
Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. With 2020 on the horizon, people are starting to reflect on the year that's coming to a close and plan for the year ahead. If you don't want to be in the same exact position next year at this time, you have to take a long, hard look at what'll motivate you to make a change. I'm seriously fascinated by this topic. Why do some people stay stuck year after year? Why do some people have the courage to take a big leap? Why do some people die with a big dream in their heart, while others believe their dreams are worth pursuing? I heard someone speak about this on a podcast and he said that people are generally motivated by one of two things: pain or inspiration. (You can listen to the full podcast here). I couldn't agree more.
Unfortunately, most people don't make a big change until something bad happens and it's their only option. This was the case for me! I was 100% miserable in my career as a lawyer for about 11 years when my father passed away. He was just 65 years old. After processing the grief with the help of a therapist, I decided that I needed to make some changes. Life is short. And it's certainly too short to feel stuck in a career that brings me nothing but anxiety, stress, and unhappiness. My dad worked his butt off in a corporate America job, saving for retirement with the hopes of moving to the beach in his golden years. He never got there. What a cruel joke, right? Work your whole life with the promise of a happy retirement, only to die one month after turning 65 years old. The pain this caused me motivated me to make some big changes. I didn't want to wait until retirement to "start living" like the American culture teaches us.
Pain is a motivator for a lot of people. Think about it. There are so many famous authors, actors, etc with a rags to riches story. There are so many stories of people who had a near-death experience like a very serious a car accident and completely changed their lives after it. So many stories of people who hit rock bottom and then turned it all around and fulfilled their dreams. Why does pain motivate us? It's simple. When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of making a change and stepping outside of your comfort zone, you'll make a change. Read that again. Do you get that? It's a math equation: Pain of Change < Pain of Staying the Same. Generally speaking, humans are creatures of habit. We feel most comfortable in familiar situations. We don't particularly like change. Even if your current situation doesn't make you happy, at least you're in a predictable routine that you can rely on (and that does bring comfort; albeit negative comfort). We'd rather be with the devil we know than the devil we don't. But when the pain of that situation becomes too heavy to bear, and the pain of getting out of our comfort zone is lower, we'll go ahead and choose to get out of our comfort zone.
The other avenue to big change is inspiration. My message to you is to not wait until a tragedy strikes to make a big change. Move from a place of inspiration instead. When you are inspired to make a change, it can happen more intentionally. For example, you can choose the timetable (you're not acting when tragedy unexpectedly strikes), you can save money for it, you can put together a plan.
So the question is: how do you get inspired? I think the most powerful source of inspiration is to connect with people who have already made the change you're dreaming about. You can do this in person or, if you don't personally know anyone, you can find books and podcasts by people doing what you'd like to be doing. I think this is the most forceful source of inspiration because these people are real life examples of what can happen if you gain the courage to make the change.
It is with this idea in mind that I've decided to start offering some support resources to all of you who have found my story inspirational. I get messages to this effect all the time and I've realized that many people are craving a change (whether that be a career change or something else) but just don't know how to make that leap. I love connecting on this topic so much. It's been a big part of my messaging since the first day I launched grace + hudson. Right now, I'm contemplating small group coaching, a private Facebook group, a virtual book club to discuss some of the books that I found most helpful on my journey, and one-on-one coaching. I will definitely keep you posted on these offerings as things unfold, but I know one thing for sure: the mission of these offerings will be to inspire you to make a change, and not wait for pain or tragedy to be your catalyst.
For now, let's say a cheers to reflecting on 2019 and thinking of all that might happen in 2020!
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