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my journal on career change

Owning A Business Is Like Having A Child (In Some Ways)

Owning A Business Is Like Having A Child (In Some Ways)

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I am sharing what it feels like to be 5 years into my journey as a business owner. I started grace + hudson in June of 2017 and it's unbelievable how much has happened in 5 years. It's also unbelievable how fast the time has flown by!

If you are a small business owner, you know how grueling the first few years can be. I would equate a new business to a newborn baby, in certain ways. It requires all of you. It requires long days and long nights. It requires you to sacrifice - your time, your money, your energy. Think about it... you are trying to create an entity - albeit a business entity - that has never existed before. A thing that you hope will be able to walk and talk on its own someday and grow into a healthy, thriving adult that you don't have to watch so closely all the time. And no one can care for it the way you - the owner who birthed it - can. It's hard to delegate some of the tasks and duties in the beginning - just like it's hard to let someone babysit your newborn for the first time. But then it grows and matures, and you learn to let go a little because - if it's growing and thriving - you can't possibly do everything that's required to maintain it all the time. You need a little help now and then. 

And that brings me to the point of this journal entry. I am at this beautiful, gorgeous stage of my business where I can finally let go a little. I feel like my business is a living, breathing, walking, and talking 5-year-old that still needs my attention and love, but isn't quite has needy as it was in prior years. I say "finally" but truly, the past 5 years have gone so quickly and - in the grand scheme of things - 5 years is really such a little blip on the radar. It's such a limited amount of time to work really hard to receive, in exchange, what I hope is a lifetime of being able to do what I want to do for work. Honestly, any career requires an investment of about 5 years upfront in the beginning before you really feel settled, right? I mean, if I had changed careers and went from lawyer to - I don't know - nurse or yoga teacher or realtor, I would have had to get the required education, get an entry level job, and work a couple of years before I felt settled and started earning better pay. Starting your own business is no different. You don't just create a successful business straight out the gate, and your take home pay isn't going to immediately be what you earned in your prior, established career. You have to have a little patience. Yes, you are starting a new business, but in more simple terms, you are starting over in a new career and you have to "pay your dues" up front. There's no getting around it. I think more people need to look at business ownership in this way because it would give them more realistic expectations of what to expect financially. It would have been incredibly foolish of me to expect that I would take home the same pay in year 1 of my business that I did in year 11 of my career as an attorney. That's just silly. But you know what isn't silly? And I'm starting to really see this now - there is no ceiling. Your pay potential is as high as the sky. As much as your business grows, is as much as your paycheck can grow. Sure, lawyers can make a lot of money, but there's always going to be a ceiling when your paycheck comes from someone else. There is no ceiling when you own your own business. And that's pretty cool to see, especially as a woman. I think back to all those people who asked me in the beginning, "You really think you're going to make more money selling jewelry than being a lawyer?" Oh, they were so negative. And it's also really sad that all they thought about was money. They spoke as if happiness has nothing to do with long-term career satisfaction.

Anyways, just like a proud parent looks at their child learning to walk, it gives you - the business owner - so much pride to see this idea you birthed come into being. In some ways, the business feels like an extension of your identity just like a child feels like an extension of you. And, just like a child eventually becomes separate from his or her parents, I'm also starting to separate my day-to-day "identity" from my business. Working so hard on this business of mine has taken up so much of me and my identity the past 5 years. I'm really consciously starting to separate from it, because it's no longer necessary for me to lose my identity in it. It's no longer necessary for me to be 100% wrapped up in it. It's something like having a child who's now in 1st grade and you can go to that 10 am yoga class you used to love. It's definitely a process - the letting go - but I'm finally embracing it. And I'm actually enjoying delegating things to employees now. In the beginning it was tough! No one can do it like I can do it. You know what I mean? I'm sure if you have a child you've said that quite a lot. But I have to delegate the small stuff so that I can focus more on the big, important stuff and also have time to take care of myself. I am getting better and better at that, and it's only a matter of time before I'm really able to step away from the business more and more and enjoy life more and more. It's only a matter of time before I have that complete and total freedom I've always craved in my work. I'm the boss and I can do whatever, whenever I like. It's a pretty great feeling, and well-worth all the work it has taken to get here. If you are familiar with the legal profession, lawyers have to bill their time to their clients and I was required to "bill time" in increments of 6 minutes at the law firms I was employed by. Which means that I had to keep track of every 6 minutes of my life for 11 years. To say that it's beautiful to have freedom in my career now is putting it mildly! I can't believe I used to live like that, tracking every 6 minutes of my life. It's no way to live.

Finally, I think it's important to note that starting a successful new business requires a lot. A lot of time. A lot of thought. A lot of dedication. A lot of late nights. It truly requires every bit of commitment that a newborn child would require. If you plan on working 9 to 5, think again. Business ownership might not be the right path for you if you are unable to make this sort of time commitment for several years. My hope is always to be honest and upfront with you about small business ownership so that you make the right decision for YOU and not every one is in the position to devote that kind of time. For instance, maybe you just had your first child. I see a lot of new mothers wanting to start new businesses - perhaps because they see it as flexible hours and work-from-home - and I would highly encourage you to wait. You simply do not have the time to give it all the attention it deserves. To be honest, I've seen quite a few businesses fail when the owner had a child. It's really hard! And to think you can do both WELL at the same time is not realistic. And, in my opinion, your REAL child deserves all the attention. Wait a few years, it'll be ok if you give it some time. 

If you're an aspiring or existing small business owner, I hope this journal entry inspires you to keep going... or to wait if the time is not right. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experience. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe.

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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Social Media For Small Business

Social Media For Small Business

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I am writing about social media for small business. This journal entry is for all the aspiring and existing small business owners out there who know the importance of social media but perhaps are a little confused on how it fits into their overall business goals. Here are the top 5 things I've learned over the past 5 years when it comes to social media.  

First and foremost, social media is critically important to small business ownership in this day and age. You don't need to be on all the platforms (and I believe you actually shouldn't be on all the platforms) but you must have a presence out there somewhere. Customers expect it. There are millions of small businesses and some only survive for a few months, so I believe that social media is a way of indicating that you are alive and well. I know that sounds almost silly, but let me give you an example. I once found this gorgeous candle company based out of Brooklyn, NY. I found them at a holiday market and bought several candles from them. I wanted to reorder several months later and placed an order with them online. Several weeks went by and I never heard from them. I sent an email and received no response. I checked their social media and nothing had been posted for about 2 or 3 months. I emailed them again. No response. Thankfully I paid with PayPal and I was able to submit a claim with PayPal for a refund because this business had obviously shut down and wasn't even checking email anymore, let alone fulfilling orders. I suppose they forgot to shut down their website? Seems strange, but I guess it could happen. From that time onward, before I order from a small business, I check their social media presence. It's my way of finding out if they are still alive and well. So many people tried to start an online business during the Covid era and so many have already closed (it's not easy to run a business!!!). So, if nothing else, keep a social media presence so that people know you are an operating, working business.

As I said above, I don't think you should be on all the social media platforms. Pick two or three and do it well. It takes an incredible amount of time to be on all the social media platforms, so if you try to do that, you're not going to have a great presence anywhere. You're going to have an (at best) mediocre presence everywhere. For me, for example, I am most dedicated to Instagram and that's where I spend most of my social media time. But I also have a presence on Facebook and also Pinterest because I do a lot of wedding jewelry and a lot of brides plan their wedding using Pinterest. Pick the platforms that make sense for you and your business. It might not make sense for you to be on Pinterest - it might make sense for you to be on YouTube. Only you know where your ideal customers hang out, so get clear on that and then target those platforms. That's the second most important thing I've learned about social media.

Coming in at number three is something you're probably not going to want to hear. Most social media is "pay to play" these days. What does that mean? You have to pay the platform to get your content shown to new customers and even the people who follow you. You cannot rely on organic reach if you want to grow and scale your business. Let me boil this down in really easy concepts so you understand this point. Years ago, Facebook and Instagram started their platforms with the plan of building them up into the massive entities they are today. At first, they had to make their platforms "free" to businesses. But now that everyone is on those platforms (even your grandma!) they can charge businesses to be seen (in other words, they can charge businesses to advertise). That was their plan all along. They saw the revenue potential in these platforms long, long ago. I've been on social media with my business since 2017 and I've seen a lot change in that time frame. Over the course of the last year in particular - so from about early 2021 to the present day - Instagram and Facebook have become pay to play. So if you're not paying them to run ads, your content is being seen by very few people. And let me put in a little caveat here - when your business account on those platforms is brand new, Instagram and Facebook throw you a bone. You'll see a lot of natural engagement (meaning "likes" and such). In other words, Instagram and Facebook are actually showing your posts to your followers. But when your business account is about 6 months old, they'll stop showing your content to your followers. You'll see your "like" counts go from like 200 to 12 per post. Why? Because they want you to pay to be seen. They want you to advertise. Like it or not, it's the way the social media world works now. So, if you want to grow and scale your business, you MUST have a social media advertising budget. This is an absolute non-negotiable in my view. And honestly, advertising on these platforms is so much cheaper than, say, advertising in a magazine or newspaper. Think about it - that's how small businesses had to advertise back in the day! We are so, so lucky to have social media platforms at our disposal.

The next thing I've learned about social media is to ignore the vanity metrics. If you've educated yourself on social media at all, you've likely come across the phrase "vanity metrics" which are things like likes and emoji reactions. The unsophisticated business owner lives and dies by these. He or she is upset if a post doesn't get a certain number of likes. The sophisticated business owner does not even pay attention to likes. The sophisticated business owner pays attention to how many people visit her website. Let's think about it this way - think of your Instagram profile, for example, as a magazine. It's a digital magazine that shows a potential customer what you do, what you sell, what you have to offer. The point of social media is to get someone off the platform and onto your website where YOU can now control their experience. You are no longer relying on Instagram to interact with this person. That is the hope you should have when you post on social media. That someone will be interested enough in your "digital magazine" to click on over to your website to see what else you have to offer. Then, once they hop over to your website, you try to do things like collect their email addresses so you can control how they experience your brand through your newsletters, email offers, etc. Let me give you a real life example from my business. When I run a wedding jewelry ad on Instagram, my hope is always that a bride will jump over to my website to see more. Once she's there, my hope is that she'll sign up for my 20% off bridal discount using her email address. And then I take her through a sequence of emails relevant to her wedding - one email shows her all of our best selling bridal earrings, another email offers help in selecting bridal jewelry, and another email shows her that we also have pieces for her flower girl, bridesmaids, and the mother of the bride. So, in other words, Instagram is just the entry level contact I have with this bride. And then she comes over to my side of the world where I can control our interactions and not rely on Instagram. This is why vanity metrics don't matter. Think about it - if someone sees an ad from your company and she likes what she sees, she's going to click on the ad that says "visit our website" or "shop now" or "learn more." She usually isn't going to like the post and THEN go visit the website. Some people do this of course, but many people just click and head on over without liking. So, in a nutshell, this is why you should be more concerned with how many people are actually going to your website and not with how many people are liking your posts.

Last but not least, the fifth thing I've learned about social media is that it's important to show your face. You don't have to do it all the time, but several times per month will do wonders for your business. If you're a small business owner, I think people have a natural tendency to want to see or get to know the person behind the brand. It's really such a lovely thing, when you stop to think about it. If you shop at a big store like Nordstrom or Target, there is no person behind the brand. It's faceless, right? But a small business does have a face behind it - a person, a family, a story. And people love to connect. It's human nature. To me, we're kind of at this place in time where it's weird if I don't see the face behind the small business. Do you agree? There's a small jewelry company I came across recently on Instagram and they're completely personality-less. There is absolutely no indication of who the owner is. Maybe I'm weird but it felt so strange to see that complete lack of connection. Maybe it's just that I've come to expect that personal connection when dealing with small businesses, and I don't think I'm alone in that. So get out there - connect with the people you are trying to reach! If it makes you uncomfortable, practice in front of your bathroom mirror! And keep it short! It doesn't need to be anything long or elaborate. Or get a few professional photos of yourself and post those with a thoughtful caption introducing yourself, your story, and why you love running your business. 

If you're an aspiring or existing small business owner, I hope this journal entry sheds some light on social media. If you'd like to hear more about how I use social media, leave a comment below and maybe I'll do a follow up journal entry as there is so much that can be said about social media for small business. 

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe.

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I am writing about getting out of your comfort zone. The fact of the matter is, if you want something different - whether that be a different career or something else - you have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. The unwillingness to do so holds a LOT of people back. If you want to see something different show up in your life but you've seen no progress, maybe this is the little thing that's been holding you back.

What do they say the definition of "insanity" is again? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result? Well that's kind of what it's like when you want to stay in your comfort zone, yet you want to see real change show up in your life. If you want to make a drastic change like I did - going from lawyer to jewelry business owner - you have to be willing to get a little uncomfortable. You have to be willing to strip yourself of your routine and try something new. I find that most people aren't willing to do this. And that's why they'll talk and talk and talk about switching careers or starting their own business, but they never make one inch of progress towards that goal. 

Listen, I hear you - a comfort zone is a comfortable, safe place to be. Especially these past few years when the world has felt strange and out of control. Having a routine keeps us feeling safe and sheltered from all the outside fears and worries and challenges. But it also robs you of potential, of joy, and of growth. We get one life on this earth, and do you want to be that person who spends more time watching Netflix than living life? I hate to be so blunt, but sometimes we need to hear it that way. Because, believe me, I hear from a lot of lawyers and other people who hate their career and want to do something really different like I did, but they complain that they can't find the time. I get really honest with them when I hear this and I say, if you can find two hours a night to watch Netflix, can you find 2 hours per week to research other career options or work on your new business idea? It's true, right? Unless you get really intentional about your time and how you spend it, you'll "feel" like you have no time, but what is really going on in the background is your unwillingness to get out of your routine and comfort zone. I remember seeing a meme a while ago that said something like, "You and Beyonce both have 24 hours in a day." Isn't that the truth! If you decide to spend 8 hours on Saturday watching Netflix, that's your choice, but please don't whine about how you feel stuck and don't have the time to make a career change or start a business. If you want to have something different, you have to be willing to do something different.

And it doesn't last forever! You don't have to live outside your comfort zone forever - just for a little time, while you make the change you desire. Soon enough after that, you'll find yourself in a new comfort zone. And chances are, that new comfort zone is going to be a lot more fun than watching Netflix. This brings me to my last point. When you hate your job (or whatever life circumstance you desperately want to change), we often find ourselves in a depressive state where all we can muster is the energy to watch Netflix. I get it. I've been there. Trust me I've been there. I was incredibly miserable back when I was a lawyer and I had zero energy in the evenings. If that's you too, you're going to have to be willing to also work on your mental health. Seeing a therapist (like I did) would be great and the most effective means, but you can start small with other things if you're not ready for that. Instead of turning on the TV at night, go for a short walk around the block or do yoga with a free video available on YouTube for 15 minutes. See how good that feels (trust me, you won't regret it). Pick up a new book you've heard has good reviews and promise yourself you're going to read for 15 minutes per night before you turn on the TV and zone out. It's these little efforts, these little changes that can really jolt you out of a routine. You might find yourself in love with a new book, or loving the way you feel more at peace when you go to bed if you do 15 minutes of yoga or go for a short walk after dinner, etc. It's these small choices - these adult choices (because sometimes we don't want to do what's good for us, but being an adult sometimes demands that) - that can set you on a new path forward. 

If you want to make a big change in your life but you've been feeling stuck, I wish you the courage to break out of your comfort zone and your routine! 

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe.

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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My Favorite "Start Your Own Business" Resources

My Favorite

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I am sharing some practical resources, like my favorite podcasts and online teachers, if you want to start your own business someday or grow a business you already have. 

If you've already started down the business ownership pathway, you know that no one can teach you how to do it. There is no manual, guide, or checklist. When someone asks me, "How did you start your own business?" my mind almost goes blank. There is so much involved in answering that question it would probably take me 5 days to write about it! If you've spent 10 years working as a teacher or lawyer or nurse, you'd probably feel the same way if someone asked you, "How did you become a great teacher (or lawyer, or nurse, etc)?" While I can't tell you "how to do it" I can share some really good resources. Everything from books to podcasts to paid courses that I learned from during my business journey. 

Before I list some of my favorite resources can we just take a moment to be thankful for the Internet? I'm sure it was a lot harder to start a business 30 or 40 years ago. Just search "how to start an online business" in Google and you'll be bombarded with ads from teachers offering webinars on the topic. And, honestly, that's how I initially found all the helpful courses, podcasts, articles, etc that guided me on my business journey. You've got to weed through all the teachers and offerings out there to find what resonates with you, but it doesn't cost a dime to do that type of research and you'll learn a lot along the way. Then, when you find one or two or three teachers that resonate with you, you can consider taking one of their paid online courses. Do this if there's a topic you need to become more advanced in. For me, it was Facebook and Instagram Ads. That is truly how I've grown my business into a multi six-figure business, but you can't just jump into Instagram and start running ads. I took a 12-week intensive course on ads and I would highly recommend you do the same before wasting any money on social media ads (it WILL be a waste of money if you don't know what you're doing). Maybe social media ads will be what you invest in too - or maybe there's a different area that you will need to master to become successful. Every business is different and needs to decide that for themselves.

Ok, so here it goes. Here are some of my favorite business resources in no particular order:

B-School by Marie Forleo
My business ideas/plan looked VERY different before I took Marie Forleo's B-School course, which wasn't cheap but the hands-down best investment I ever made in myself and my business. But before you consider investing in her course too, check out all of her free content. It's probably easiest to start with her video series on YouTube. She has a podcast too (which I think is the video content turned into audio). Her website is https://www.marieforleo.com/


Jenna Kutcher
She offers a ton of great content online, in both video, podcast, and blog format. She also offers paid courses. I took her Pinterest for Business course and I thought it was well done. Her website is https://jennakutcher.com/


Amy Porterfield
Amy is one of the original "online business" teachers. I've never taken any of her paid courses, but I've listened to some of her free webinars, courses, and podcasts. She is great at teaching you how to build an email list (and why that is so important). Her website is https://www.amyporterfield.com/

Beth Anne of Brilliant Business Moms
I'm not a mom and you might not be either, but don't let it deter you from checking out the offerings of Brilliant Business Moms. The owner, Beth Anne, is far more practical than any other teacher I've come across. She knows what it is like to run a small business because she runs one herself. (Side note: yes, yes, believe it or not, there are teachers out there who have NEVER tried to run their own small business but profess they can teach you how to do it. Watch out for these types!!!!) 

I took Beth Anne's Facebook Ads Intensive course and I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to scale their business using Facebook and Instagram ads. Just be aware that this is an intense program, just like the title says, so if you aren't committed to learning this topic, do not sign up. Here is her website: https://brilliantbusinessmoms.com/


Kaity Griffin
Kaity is a Google Ads teacher and she knows what she's talking about because she too once had her own successful online store. She presents information in a quick and easy way. She can boil down hard topics into digestable bites. I enrolled in her Google Ads course. Here is her website: https://kaitygriffin.com/


Podcasts:
Marie Forleo's podcast

Jenna Kutcher's podcast called Goal Digger

Amy Porterfield's podcast called Online Marketing Made Easy

Rick Mulready's podcast called The Art of Online Business (don't start here first - this is more advanced)

Chill and Prosper with Denise Duffield-Thomas (a good podcast for any woman business owner)

Next Level Facebook Ads with Phil Graham

Ben Heath on YouTube (he shares information on Facebook and Instagram Ads and recently started teaching about Google Ads)

Allie Bloyd on YouTube (also teaches about Facebook and Instagram Ads)

How I Built This with Guy Raz (unlike the above, you won't learn practical advice here, but you'll learn how other businesses started and grew which is very helpful and inspirational too)

There you have it! Start with this smaller list and you'll naturally stumble upon so many other teachers and resources. 

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe.

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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You Must Change Your Thoughts In Order To Have Something Different

You Must Change Your Thoughts In Order To Have Something Different

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about the power of thinking differently. If you want to make a massive change like I did - going from lawyer to jewelry business owner - you have got to think differently about career, life, money, and the stories we tell ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves around these topics shape our reality, our experience. If you believe you are destined to struggle with finances in a low-paying job, you will. If you believe you are destined to do more than that, you will. It's really that simple. It's us who complicates it. Your thoughts form your beliefs and if you start there, at the root of the issue, you'll empower yourself to make real, massive changes with more ease.

Let me start by saying it is HARD to train yourself to think differently. I hear you on that. Our brains have these little pathways, almost like roads, and we gravitate towards the ones that are well-traveled. That's why we often have the same repetitive thoughts and the same repetitive responses and behaviors over and over again. Let me give you an example. Many people are inadvertently taught to believe that we're supposed to work hard at a job we don't particularly like that offers a good salary and good health benefits until we're 65 when we can retire and finally start to enjoy life. Most people operate from this perspective, right? Even if that "story" or "brain pathway" is not clearly evident to you, it's operating in your subconscious when you make decisions. That's why your brain goes, "Wow!" when you see someone who's "broken the mold" and chosen to believe in a different path and has had great success. That's also why you jump from job to job, hoping the next one will be different, only to find that it is not. You have to change the story, you have to change the beliefs, and then and only then will you see something different show up in your reality. Until that time, you're going to see the same story play out over and over again. In this example I just mentioned, once you start to believe that work can and should be enjoyable and you can experience joy in your day-to-day (even on Monday!), and that life isn't meant to "begin" at age 65 but rather to be lived every day, you'll be open to finding a job that jives with that mentality and it won't be long before you find one. But here's the thing. The brain can't be fooled. You can't merely say that you believe work should be fun and expect to find a fun job, you have to believe it. The brain knows when your words and your beliefs are not in synch.

This takes practice. A lot of practice. In fact, I would argue that it is a moment by moment decision. We'll get better and better at it as we grow and age but - no matter how great we get at it - it's still going to be a conscious choice we need to make. For that reason, I call it a lifelong practice. It's almost like working out, right? You can't just workout for a few months or even a couple years and expect to be set for the rest of your life. Physical fitness is a lifelong habit that requires daily dedication. And although it will become easier with practice, you might still fall off the wagon from time to time. I've always wondered why our culture places so much emphasis on working out the physical body, and places so little emphasis on training the mind, but that's a conversation for another day.

If this topic is resonating with you, let me leave you with two resources. Check these out and I bet they'll spark your motivation to work on changing your thoughts. The first resource is a book by author Jen Sincero. It's called "You are a Badass at Making Money." I know, I know, this book is about money. But there is so much goodness in this book that can be applied to ANY area of your life whether it be career, relationships, health, or finances. You see, it's all about mindset, so whether we're talking about mindset in the area of money or in the area of relationships, it's all the same. Side note: that's why when you intentionally work on mindset in one area of your life - so for me it was career and money - other areas of your life also improve - and for me that was relationships. Let me share my favorite passage from Jen's book, in hopes it will motivate you to go buy it or listen to it on Audible. And p.s., if you couldn't already tell from the title of the book, she talks about this topic in a very light-hearted, funny manner. You'll laugh quite a bit! 

"Your beliefs are driving the bus. They take you where you’re going whether you’re paying attention or not. Your thoughts are the tour guide. The person up front with the microphone and the clip board. She can lean over and yank the wheel, slam on the breaks, step on the gas, flip the bus. She can do whatever, whenever she wants. She usually works in harmony with your beliefs, but she has all the veto power. Your words are the assistant to your thoughts and beliefs. Your words back them up, voice their opinions, anchor in their message, keep it real. Your emotions are the fuel. They are ignited by your thoughts, and can change your beliefs and the direction of your life. Without emotions, you're going nowhere new and exciting. Your actions build the road. They pave the path for your beliefs, but will reroute should thoughts and emotions make a change of plans and decide they want to stop at Dairy Queen or something... All members of team mindset must be on the field bringing their A game, yet it's your thoughts - and I hate to play favorites here - that are the biggest badasses of them all."

- from Chapter 2 (and this is at minute 26 in Chapter 2 if listening on Audible)

Oh this book is so, so good at explaining how the aspects of our brains function together in funny, easy-to-understand language. Jen has another book that's simply called, "You Are a Badass" which I would recommend as well. It shares some of the same principles and ideas applied in a more generic manner (not tied to money). Here is a link to both books on Amazon.

The second resource I want to share with you is a YouTube video from one of my favorite teachers, Iyanla Vanzant. You can view it here and the part I want to direct you to starts around minute 27 and goes through minute 36. She gives so many great examples of how you can turn your thoughts around. I've listed some of them below - you can fill in the blanks with the things that are most challenging to you right now:

Instead of saying "This is so hard" say "I am up for the challenge of {fill in the blank}"

Instead of saying "I can't {fill in the blank}" say "I am learning to ____"

Instead of saying "I am trying to lose weight" say "I am releasing excess weight"

Instead of saying "I don't have ____" say "I am calling in ____"

Instead of saying "I need ____" say "I am open to receive ____"

Instead of saying "I don't know how to ____" say "I am learning to ____"

Instead of saying, "I am fearful of ____" say "I am learning to trust that ____"

I absolutely love how Iyanla teaches us to turn around negative thought patterns. She does it like no one else. I find her so powerful, and yet so easy to understand. If you listened to this video segment every day for 30 days, I guarantee that you will start to recognize the ways you can turn your own repetitive, negative thoughts around to be more productive and positive. And when you look at the world in a more productive, positive way, the world around you begins to change.

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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The Life Checklist

The Life Checklist

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about the "life checklist" that so many people chase and why it's so important to chart your own course and live intentionally if you want to find true joy and peace in your career and in your life.

What's this "life checklist," you ask? You know it well, I'm sure. It goes something like this: go to college, go to grad school, get the best paying job you can, get married, buy a house, get a dog, have 2 kids... or something very similar. So many people chase this path or some version of it, thinking that happiness is waiting for them at the end. They can finally be happy, having achieved all of these things. The problem is, happiness is not waiting at the end of this checklist.

Before I went to law school, I spent one year after college working at a big, big law firm in New York City. It was in Times Square on the 42nd floor of a big fancy building. This was one of the best law firms in the world and they therefore attracted graduates of law schools like Harvard, Columbia, etc. They paid even the youngest attorneys very, very well. One thing I noticed about these attorneys, especially the young ones, is that they seemed to "have it all" but they were miserable. I was only 22 years old at the time, but this observation made a huge impression on me. I thought to myself, these people are only like 30 years old, with huge salaries, a husband or wife with just as good of a job, a recently purchased beautiful new condo in the heart of NYC, a fancy car (even though they don't really need one in the city), a beautiful young child with another baby on the way... basically on their road to multi-millionaire status and a picturesque life. What gives? Having gotten to know some of these attorneys quite well, I think many of them felt led astray. Something to the effect of, "I have been told that if I chase these things and achieve them, I can be happy! I have all of these things now, but I'm not happy. In fact, I'm quite unhappy. And quite unfulfilled. I'm only 30-something years old - where do I go from here?" They felt very stuck. They already had a fancy car, a million dollar condo in NYC, etc... in other words, in order to afford the life they unintentionally created, they had no other choice but to stay put in their high paying attorney job even though they were incredibly unhappy. They were handcuffed to a certain salary so they could continue to afford all of the things. It's much harder to start over and rewind your life choices when you have all the obligations of a million dollar life. Never, ever assume that someone with a "great job" and a high salary is happy. Many are not. There's a reason that drug and alcohol abuse is incredibly high in the legal profession, just as one example. 

You see, we are all created differently, with different talents, gifts, skills, and destinies. It is absolutely absurd to think that all of us should follow the same path in life - that the same things that make you happy are going to make me happy. Yet, for some unknown reason, most people think that if they achieve these things on the life checklist, they will finally be happy. Happiness doesn't come from checking things off a list. It comes from living life intentionally. Ah, that's one of my favorite words - intentional. In other words, rather than go through life like some sort of robot chasing the next thing on the list, you actually take the time to think about and decide what would make YOU happy and you chase those things instead. You don't just go through the motions, but rather you intentionally decide what YOUR path to happiness consists of and you try to achieve THAT.

You're going to face some questions if you live intentionally - that's just how ingrained the "life checklist" is in our society. If you choose the job that will be fulfilling over the one that pays more, your parents might have some questions for you. If you decide not to purchase a home so that you can instead invest in your dream of starting a business, you're going to face some criticism. If you decide not to get married, people will ask you why. If you decide not to have kids, there might be some rumors floating around behind your back that you can't actually get pregnant. People on the life checklist path are so, so critical of people who are not. Why? Well, it's likely because they are unhappy themselves. People who are genuinely happy with the way their lives have turned out generally don't spend time criticizing the life choices of other people. The people who will criticize you probably bought the life checklist mentality hook, line, and sinker. They found out it doesn't pave the road to happiness, but they don't know how to start over and extract themselves from the life they unintentionally created. Don't let these folks stop you from living life on purpose and deviating from the set list of things that will supposedly make you happy.

If you find yourself in the midst of the life checklist path, and this resonated with you, the first step is to really sit down and decide what would make you happy. This might feel uncomfortable (I know it was for me the first time I did it) because we've been living life by other people's standards and expectations. We have never actually given good and decent thought to what would make us truly happy. It might even take you months to figure out. Don't expect to have all the answers the first time you stop to think about what an intentional life might look like for you. But it's well worth your time and energy. If you live life intentionally, your chances of finding long-term joy and peace in your life are infinitely greater than the folks who just go through the motions.

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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Focus On The Feelings Money Will Bring, Not The Money Itself

Focus On The Feelings Money Will Bring, Not The Money Itself

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm writing about money. I've written quite a few journal entries on money because it's the number one thing holding us back from pursuing a dream of a more fulfilling and satisfying career. In the last 7 years or so, I've had to do a lot of work on my beliefs around money in order to quit my job as a lawyer and go out on my own as a jewelry business owner. And I mean a LOT of work. Through sharing my work and my experience on this topic, I hope you will change your perspective on money too.

Let's clear something up right out of the gate. Why do you want money? Think about it for a minute. Is it because you want to save a lot of money in the bank in order to feel secure before you quit your job to pursue a dream? Is it because you want to travel the world? Raise a large family? Retire from work altogether? Buy fancy cars? Buy multiple homes? Why? Why do you want money so badly? We get so caught up in dollars and cents and bills and financial goals, that we sometimes lose sight of why we actually are working so hard to earn money. When you really sit down to think about it, you'll come to find out that you don't actually want the money itself. You want the things money will bring into your life or help you achieve, right? What would happen if you started to focus on those things more and stopped focusing so much on the actual dollars and cents? Better yet, what would happen if you started focusing on the feelings those things would bring you? For example, what if you focused on the feelings you would have if you pursued your dream of owning your own bakery (or boutique, or consulting business, or whatever it is you really want to do)? You'd feel so much freedom in your work to do your own thing and set your own hours and, most importantly, spend the minutes of your life doing what you want to do rather than what some boss or large company wants you to do. That is true, beautiful freedom right there. There is also so much stability and security in living life on your own terms - in pursuing your purpose through the natural given talents and abilities you were born with. When you have this type of mental and emotional stability and security, you begin to see that stability and security do not come from a paycheck and do not come from having a large savings account. We all know plenty of people with large sums of money who are by no means stable or secure, right? Just look at the world of celebrities. 

You see, we are taught by society, or our university, or our parents to strive for the best job with the best salary we can obtain, when really we should be taught to strive for the feelings we think that salary would bring. What would those be? Namely, they are freedom, security, and stability (and maybe a few others personal to you). And the truth of the matter is, freedom, security, and stability are NOT found in money and they are available to you regardless of how much money you make. Huh? There's a lot to unpack there, I know. But it boils down to this: there is a huge disconnect when you think you can only get freedom, security, and stability through money. 

Let's unpack this with some examples. Is the new career or job you're dreaming about going to be more fulfilling, and therefore bring you more joy and internal peace? That's stability right there. Mental stability. And mental stability is a lot more valuable than boatloads of money in the bank. For one, you can't buy mental health or physical health. Health is arguably the most valuable form of abundance.

Here's another example. Is the new career or job going to make use of your God-given talents and gifts which you aren't using in your current job? If you answered yes, that's security right there. Let me explain. When you use the talents, gifts, and skills you were born with, you are working from a place of service (i.e. how can I best serve the world with the special skills I have?). This is the opposite of working from a place of "I need a paycheck." When you build a career around the gifts that come naturally to you, you're going to excel more quickly, more easily, and face less risk of layoff. And even if you do face a job cut, you're likely going to gain a new one quickly. Job security doesn't mean "I have a job with this employer forever." No, no. Job security means "I naturally excel in this field because of my God-given talents and skills and therefore even if my employer goes bankrupt through no fault of my own, I will find a new job in this field quickly because I'm naturally great at it." That's security right there.

Now here's the kicker. Ironically, when you approach career and work from this perspective, the money follows! It's amazing. Almost like magic. It doesn't happen overnight and some patience is needed, but when you commit to work that's in alignment with YOU, the money follows naturally. One of my favorite teachers, Iyanla Vanzant, once said money is "My Own Natural Energy Yield." You see what she did there? Money is a currency, an energy. And it's simply what comes back to you when you put good energy out into the world in the form of sharing your skills and talents through your work. I just love that.

Let me leave you with a passage from one of Iyanla's books called One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:

Most of my life I thought I wanted money. I believed that if I had money to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, I would be deliriously happy and free. As a child and as an adult, I have often heard myself say, "Boy! I wish I had a million dollars." I thought that would be my ticket to freedom. One day I woke up with those same thoughts floating around in my mind, and by the end of the day I had $1.1 million. It was a short time later that I realized it was not the money that I actually wanted. My true desire was for the freedom I thought the money would bring. It was too late! I had the money and all of the obligations that came along with earning it.

So what are you chasing today? Is it paychecks? Or the feelings of stability and security and freedom? Always prioritize the latter. The money will take care of itself. Trust me. I am living proof of this through my decision to quit my 11-year career as an attorney to start grace + hudson.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

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Troubleshooting Guide: Why Hasn't Your Dream Of Starting A Business Come To Fruition?

Troubleshooting Guide: Why Hasn't Your Dream Of Starting A Business Come To Fruition?

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking to all the people out there who've tried to start a business (or have been really thoughtful about starting one) but just can't seem to get it off the ground. If you're pretty intelligent and have studied how to start a website, design a brand, etc but there still seems to be a roadblock holding you back, your issue might not be technical. I see so many people focused on the nitty gritty technical details of the business they aspire to launch when they really need to be spending time on their mindset. Their own thoughts are holding them back and they don't even know it. 

I'm going to paint a picture for you of two women. Chances are you know two people like this, and perhaps you identify strongly as one yourself. The first one always talks about starting her own business someday and has even thought about and planned many of the small details. However, she takes no action. She talks about this business idea quite often but each time you ask her if she's taken any baby steps towards that goal, she says no. The other woman has taken action and started her business, but she plays the "starving artist" role. She constantly talks about how hard it is to make money in her business. She constantly talks about how expensive it is to run a business. She's constantly looking for ways to cut corners to save money on the things her business needs to get going. She does everything herself and refuses to hire someone or invest in an online course to learn how to do the more technical things her business needs to thrive. In other words, she plays the victim role - "oh it's so hard to be an entrepreneur," "oh it's so hard to be a small business owner," "I'm just hoping to break even this year," and on and on she goes. {P.S. - if you've ever networked with other small business owners, beware of these folks - they are everywhere. I learned this early on in my small business journey and removed myself from groups like that - many of the "small business groups" out there consist of people like this and all they want to do is talk about how hard it is to run a small business. You don't need that negativity in your life, it'll bring you down!}

Can you identify with one of these types? Is your best friend, significant other, or sibling one of these types? I bet you know the type of person I'm referring to because everyone wants to start a business these days. Sure, these two types of folks might genuinely need some technical help getting their business off the ground - perhaps they just don't have an artistic eye and they need some help designing their branding and color scheme, or perhaps they lack marketing skills and they need to invest in a course on how to market their products on social media. But more often than not, the root of the issue lies beneath the surface. How do I know this? If they truly believed they were worthy of a successful business, they'd do what it takes to hire the branding expert or invest in a marketing class. They simply wouldn't be using their energy to whine about these things. So what's happening here? It's mental! There is a mental roadblock or two (or three or four or twenty...) that's simply manifesting as "I can't figure out this branding stuff" or "I can't figure out my marketing plan."

I've said it before in prior journal entries and I'll say it again here. If you want to start a business, a successful business, you need to work on your mindset more than your website. Starting a business is honestly the most challenging mental exercise I've ever experienced... and I say that as someone who went to an Ivy League college, a top 25 law school, and practiced as a lawyer for 11 years. I don't say that to be boastful (because lord knows I have no good things to say about the legal profession and I also question some of the viewpoints I was "educated" to have at an Ivy League school) but I say that because I know what it's like to be extremely mentally challenged. But you know what? All of that was book smarts. It takes almost no mental willpower to be good at that. But starting a business? That requires you to search the depths of your soul for all the issues and triggers and "old stories" as I like to call them that are holding you back. That might sound dramatic but it is. This is not easy work. Everything from "my mom and dad pinched pennies and now I hold onto every dollar as if it were my last and I just can't mentally invest in my dream when the outcome is uncertain" (in other words, scarcity mindset) to "who am I to be successful and happy and deeply fulfilled in my work, when almost all of humanity dislikes their day to day job or at best feels so-so about it?" Oh there are SO many stories holding us back and unless you call them out and change them, I don't care how great your website is, it's never going to take off.

I already shared a step-by-step process you can use to start calling out these stories and changing them. You can read that journal entry here. I have done so much work on the stories holding me back, it truly has been the hallmark of my business journey. Yes, I've managed to grow a business but more than that, I've grown myself. I have grown so much as a person and I just can't put a price tag on the ways I've developed - it's been absolutely priceless. I never knew how much of an investment I was making in myself when I started my business. I thought I was just investing in a business idea. Here are just some of the old stories I've uncovered lurking in my brain, worked on (some with the help of a therapist), and changed so that they no longer hold me back:

  1. Work isn't supposed to be fun.
  2. The purpose of work is to earn a paycheck.
  3. I could never earn a lot of money doing something I love. The things I love are reserved for hobbies on the weekend.
  4. Everyone hates their job, or at best feels so-so about it, so who am I to think differently? Who am I to wake up each day feeling happy, excited, and fulfilled with the work I get to do in the world?
  5. I'm supposed to work until age 65 and then I can retire and start enjoying my life. At best, I can aspire to retire early and start enjoying my life before 65!
  6. The right thing to do after college is to get a job with good income potential.
  7. I work an office job because I need health insurance.
  8. I stay at my corporate job because I need the benefits.
  9. Having a regular paycheck makes me secure.
  10. I could never earn a lot of money doing something I love. Either I can make a good income or I can do work I love, not both.
  11. My value and worth is tied to my job title. If I have a prestigious job at a good company, people will think more of me. It proves my worth to the world.
  12. I'll never make as much money doing jewelry as I did as a lawyer.

And those are just some of the stories I worked on, not all! So have no shame if your list is just as long or longer. The amazing thing is, we can change our perception of our world. We can change what we choose to believe about work, money, and all the other things in our lives. So if you feel stuck about that business dream you have, I highly suggest you look within. I highly suggest you spend time working on the thoughts and patterns and automatic triggers you have because, if you're human, you're going to have quite a few that need to be worked on and turned around. And don't be ashamed if you can't figure it out on your own or with a few self-help books. I used the help of a therapist for some of these deep-rooted issues that touched on self-worth, confidence, and self-esteem.

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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Are You The Entrepreneurial Type?

Are You The Entrepreneurial Type?

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking a little bit about what it takes to be an entrepreneur. Not everyone is cut out for it and - honestly - you might find more happiness in a more traditional job. In writing my Journal, my hope is always to share valuable information that might save you some time and heartache, so get honest with yourself about whether you're really built to be an entrepreneur before you start that business you've been dreaming about.

Here is the number one thing I would honestly consider before you start your own business: are you an independent-thinking leader? Some of us are born leaders, some of us are not. Some of us are more inclined to go with the crowd, and some of us are more inclined to go against the grain. Some of us think differently than everyone else, and some of us adopt what the majority appears to believe without giving it too much thought. Which type are you? Get honest and here's why: when you run your own business, you need to be a natural born leader capable of independent thinking because there's no one over your shoulder telling you what to do. I know, I know, you might say, "Wow, that sounds amazing! No boss looking over my shoulder all day long!" But in reality, some of you would be completely lost without the direction of a boss. And I don't say that in a derogatory manner - I just say that from an honest viewpoint that about half of us are born leaders and about half of us are not. We are all different. And we are all suited to do different things with our lives. And what I want to do is help you recognize early on - before you waste a whole lot of time and a whole lot of money - that business ownership might not be right for you. And, even more importantly, it might not make you happy. It might stress you out, cause a lot of headaches, and be more aggravating than it's worth.

Let me expand on this a bit. Starting a new business doesn't come with a checklist, a manual, or a guide. This is quite unlike a traditional job, where your job duties are clearly spelled out in your job description and your goals or benchmarks are clearly set forth by your boss and in your performance reviews. If you want a promotion to the next level, the requisite years of experience and other required skills are usually spelled out clearly by the human resource department. If you start your own business, don't expect to find any clear documents or checklists on what to do. There is no list called "100 items to complete to start a successful business." Even if there was a checklist with 100 items, and even if you completed all 100 items with flying colors, there is zero guarantee you'll have a successful business waiting for you upon completion of the checklist. That can be daunting for someone who is very accustomed to having clearly spelled out expectations, goals, and functions. If you are the type of person who likes to know "If I do X, I will get Y" then starting your own business is likely to make you very uncomfortable.

Listen, while people often complain about their boss, most people actually need a boss. They stumble if there's no one above them to turn to for advice and guidance when stuck on an assignment. They get overwhelmed on how to prioritize tasks if no one is there to prioritize things for them. When you have no boss, you need to make all of the decisions yourself. You need to come up with the projects. You need to prioritize what's important and what can wait. And you won't have a more experienced boss to turn to when you're stuck (side note: but you can find mentors and other entrepreneurs to network with who can identify with you). So get honest with yourself and how you function at work. Maybe being boss-less is actually not as appealing as it sounds. Maybe it's actually kind of nice to have someone sitting on the sidelines telling you what to do everyday.  Maybe? Give it some honest thought because, at the end of the day, your overarching goal should be to find happiness and fulfillment at work and that's going to look different for everyone. 

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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Follow Purpose And Connection And You'll Never Be Led Astray

Follow Purpose And Connection And You'll Never Be Led Astray

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking about the importance of prioritizing purpose and connection in all aspects of life but especially when making career decisions. 

Let me tell you a story that goes something like this... I just got promoted, I'm making over 6 figures, I live in a beautiful condo downtown, I have great friends and family. I feel fortunate for what I have, but I am deeply, deeply unhappy. I cry most days, I have no energy after work to do anything but watch reality tv or HGTV, and the dread I feel on Sunday nights overwhelms me.

Does that resonate at all? You know, the "outside" seems pretty darn great but the inside is crying out about unmet needs? That was me. For a very, very, very long time. Eleven years to be exact. And I know there are a lot of you out there who have felt the same. 

Looking back, here's how I would boil it down - I was deeply unhappy because I was lacking connection and purpose in my life. And what made me even more unhappy was that everyone was telling me I should be happy because I "had it all"... and then this made me feel even worse about myself. And it left me drained and depleted.

We can strive for the next promotion, and the next promotion, and the next promotion and win them all, but at the end of the day when purpose and connection are missing, we will be unhappy with every win. We "think" that next thing is going to make us happy, and then it doesn't. So we strive for the next thing, and that doesn't make us happy either. If that pattern continues, it won't be long before a real sense of disillusionment sets in about the story we've been sold. You all know the "story" I'm referring to -- get into the best college, get into the best graduate school, get a high paying job, get married by 30, buy a house, get a dog, have a child, etc and at the end of that very long list, happiness awaits.   

We need to be smart enough to recognize that happiness is unique to each individual and not based on some superficial list of life achievements. And we need to be brave enough to admit what isn't working for us. We have to be brave enough to be radically honest, without judging ourselves and without minimizing our experience. 

I find that what usually is missing in this equation is purpose and connection. That's at the root of the unhappiness so many "successful" women experience. It doesn't matter how much money or friends you have - if you are lacking fundamental human connection and purpose, you will be deeply unhappy. And on the flip side, this is why people with "average" jobs and "average" salaries can be deeply happy. If they go home after work to a wonderful, big family and a supportive partner after working in a job that matches their purpose, they will experience deep joy and fulfillment and be much, much, much more happy than the person who appears to "have it all" per the story we've been sold growing up.

If this resonates with you, I strongly encourage you to start here -- evaluate your goals. If they consist of things like "get the next promotion" and "book that trip to Greece", I encourage you to take a deep look at what you're chasing in life. In my opinion, the biggest and largest and best goal any of us could ever strive for is deep, meaningful, and true connection and a job that fulfills our purpose. Get away from goals that center around words like promotion, job title, salary, and fancy trips and cars, and move towards goals that center around the things that are going to bring you joy, meaning, peace, connection, and fulfillment. And *most importantly* I can't tell you what those goals are because they are different for everyone. What makes me truly fulfilled is going to be drastically different from what makes you truly fulfilled. What brings me peace and joy is going to be different from you. We are all unique and special in our own ways and the "cookie cutter" approach to goals has been all wrong from the very start. We are all very different, and therefore we shouldn't all want the same things, but yet most of us are striving for that cookie cutter list I rattled off earlier (you know, the high paying job, husband, dog, house, kid, etc).

Warning: This is not easy. It sounds simple right? Draft a better list of goals with meaning? But it's terribly hard for so many women, including myself back in the day, because most of us have been programmed growing up to want that cookie cutter list and we have literally never thought about what we truly want. If you're say, 35, and this is the first time you've ever thought about what you truly want in life, it's going to be difficult. It's probably going to bring up some tears. It isn't an afternoon project - it might take months to figure out. It might even require the help of a coach or therapist. But it'll be worth every tear, every minute, every dollar you spend on it. I can say that from personal experience. I sought the help of a therapist in 2015 and, in 2017, I made the drastic choice to leave my job as a lawyer and start grace + hudson. It took me two years to work through some things and get really clear on what I want. Don't be surprised if it takes you that long too. That's important work and it can't be rushed.

At the end of the day, we all deserve to be deeply happy. And when you start to think of goals in a different way - when you start to think about YOUR unique happiness instead of the cookie cutter list of things that are "supposed" to make you happy, the idea of happiness seems a whole lot more attainable. And when we feel our goals are more attainable, we feel more empowered to reach them. In short, when you follow your unique purpose and the things that bring connection and fulfillment, you'll never be led astray. You'll always have the means of reaching them. It might take a long time, but you can get there. It was what you were put on this earth to do, and only you can stand in your own way. The other stuff is just obstacles to help you grow and help you become a better you

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

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