Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about the power of having one example, one mentor, one person you can point to and say, "Look, she did it, so why can't I?" I'm talking about making BIG change - namely, starting your own business and leaving behind a job in Corporate America - but you can apply these principles to any big change. If you know just one person who's already made the big change you're dreaming about, you will be much more confident in your decision to go for it. I didn't have a mentor when I made the leap from lawyer to jewelry business owner. But I was given a very stubborn, persistent, determined personality. That's what pushed me to say, "I'm quitting being a lawyer and I'm going to try opening a jewelry store, and I don't really care what anyone has to say about it." I do wonder if I could've made the leap much sooner if I had a mentor (side note: I wasted 11 years practicing law even though I knew I hated it from the very start). But that's neither here nor there, it all worked out for me in the end. If you are at the beginning of a similar journey, however, I would highly encourage you to find a mentor because that person will be your anchor when things get rough (and, trust me, they will) and he or she will be able to support you in ways that your significant other, family members, and friends cannot.

I remember when I still lived in Chicago and grace + hudson was only about one year old. I lived downtown and each morning when I walked my dog, I saw droves and droves of people dressed in their business casual attire sprinting towards office buildings. On days when I felt doubtful about the future of grace + hudson (and that happens a lot in the beginning), I remember seeing these people and thinking to myself, "Am I crazy?! It seems like everyone in this city is going to the office right now. Are they right and I'm wrong? Am I the one who's crazy to think I can be different?" It messes with your head, it really does. But thankfully that persistent nature of mine kicked in, I knocked those doubts out of my head, and I went home and had a productive work day, because now grace + hudson is making more money than many of those office workers. So here's the point: if you are surrounded by people who are NOT doing what you want to be doing, please find at least ONE person who is because it's really hard to go against the tide. And if you don't have a persistent and stubborn personality like mine, it'll be even harder. Believe me, there will be tons of times where you'll want to quit, but having just one mentor to look to can make all the difference. A big change requires a big break with conventional ideas and expectations and, frankly, the norms of society. Most of us were taught that we get an office job, we work it until we're 65 whether we like it or not, and then we retire and start living our dreams then. And chances are that your family and your friends were taught that too. When you try to depart from that very ingrained storyline, people will look at you like you're crazy. When you have your first difficult day as a business owner, they will tell you, "It's ok, just go back to your office job." They will think you're "playing jewelry" until you prove in hard numbers that your "jewelry hobby" is making more money than they do at work. They'll be secretly wondering not if but when you'll crawl back to you office and ask for your old job back. They don't mean this in a negative way of course, but they don't know any other way. Unlike you, their minds aren't open to the possibility of a different way of life. How did I deal with this in my own life? A lot of smiling and nodding. A lot of "in one ear and out the other." A lot of looking the other way. (This could be the topic of an entire journal entry! I promise I'll address dealing with the support, or lack thereof, from significant others, family members and friends in an entry soon.)

So what is it that you want to do? Do you know someone who's vaguely done a similar thing? Maybe you want to quit being a lawyer and start designing jewelry like me, or maybe you want to quit being a teacher and start a bakery, or maybe you want to quit your graphic design job at a big company and start your own graphic design company. Whatever it is, do you know anyone who's gone down a similar route? It doesn't have to be someone with exactly the same dream. Maybe you have an awesome family friend who owns a small pizzeria. That works! You just need someone who can identify with your new path as a small business owner. If you leave it up to time and chance, you'll definitely meet many small business owners along your pathway (heck, I hardly have any attorney friends left!). But the problem with this is - you won't know them in the beginning and the beginning is the hardest part. The beginning is full of doubt and confusion, but you'll overcome that phase if you have a mentor who once stood where you're standing, knows exactly how you feel, and not only lived to tell about it but is a thriving example of where you'd like to be someday. 

And here's where I come in! I've been wanting to serve as a business mentor for some time now. I already talk about my journey ALL the time (you know this...) and I've wanted to offer help in a more formal way than these journal entries and my Instagram posts allow. Dare I say it, I actually like talking about career change and start-up businesses more than I even like making jewelry! This week I'll be announcing my new mentorship program and there will be different options and tiers to choose from at different price points, so hopefully there's something for everyone. I'm also launching a virtual book club! There were definitely some key books on my journey and I'd love to read them again with you and share how I applied the knowledge I gained from them. I hope that whether you need a little or a lot of support and encouragement in 2020, you'll connect with me through my mentorship program. And when things get shaky, and you know they will, you'll have someone to contact, someone who knows exactly how you're feeling, someone you can point to and say, "Heck, she did it! So why can't I?" And you'll be able to stick with it, move beyond the doubts, and see your dreams and goals through to the very end.

Watch out for the sign-up details this week!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I want to talk a little about criticism and judgment. This conversation will be geared towards those who want to quit an unfulfilling job to start their own business like I did, but it's equally applicable in other areas of life too so I encourage you to read it even if you're not on the career change journey.

Here's the deal: if you want to quit a traditional career to start your own business, the judgment never stops. The criticism is everywhere. People talk behind your back, your family included. And you have to be centered and confident enough so that those comments don't weigh you down and ultimately sink your dream of being a business owner.

It stinks, I know. I didn't really have the firm support of anyone in my life when I first decided to quit my lawyer job and start my jewelry business. And I certainly didn't have any cheerleaders, rooting for me to succeed. Here are just some of the comments I received:

• You're just going to throw your law degree away like that? Didn't you spend a lot of money and time studying to be a lawyer?
• You really think you can earn a living making jewelry?
• Do you think it's smart to leave a stable job to do something so risky?
• What business experience do you have to run your own business? (Said in a very derogatory tone)
• You're going to leave behind your nice salary to make jewelry? (This was a pet peeve of mine - instead of saying "to start a jewelry business" people would say "to make jewelry" as if it were some sort of hobby and not a real business concept)
• How are you going to pay your bills making jewelry?

And then, once you ARE successful, the comments don't stop there, let me tell you! Then you start to hear things like this, but they're said more behind your back than to your face:

• Oh she's just lucky that it worked out (completely negating how much work and effort you put into making your business a success)
• If I was as [insert whatever adjective] as her, I'd have my own business too (again attributing your success to some sort of trait or circumstance that they're not "lucky enough" to have too)
• Generic criticism about little details (since the big plan has now worked out in your favor) - you know, criticism of your website, something you posted on social media, a photo you shared, etc

So why do I mention all of this? Well, first, so that you know you're not alone in hearing these things and feeling the negative emotions that follow. Second, so that you know what to expect and can mentally prepare yourself for all the criticism and judgment that may come your way. Third, to let you know that experiencing this allowed me to build my own confidence. Let me put it this way - you can't get used to being in the cold if you live in a warm climate, right? Similarly, you can't really work on your self-confidence unless you face something that forces you to strengthen it. I firmly believe we are given the right circumstances at the right time in order to grow and evolve as a person. And part of growing into a mature, grounded, happy adult is having a healthy amount of self-confidence in yourself and the decisions you make. 

And fourth and finally, going through all of this allowed me to weed out the "friends" I don't really want in my life anymore. Yes, some of the friend "losses" were surprising - the people you think won't judge you, will, and vice versa. Your friends WILL change during all of this, so expect that. Let me put it this way. A lot of my friends before this journey were lawyers or corporate types in the same boat as me. Now, a lot of my friends are entrepreneurs like me. Not hard to understand, right? We gravitate towards others who are doing, feeling, and being similar things. Let me put it a different way. It's really hard to stay around those corporate types once you've left. It really is. You start to realize that most of your conversations revolve around work (and it's usually in the form of complaining). You start to realize that you have different priorities and goals in life (they're usually still striving for external things like a higher salary, a promotion, and a big house). You start to realize that, basically, you just don't look at the world in the same way anymore, and that can be very difficult for a friendship to endure. In short, did I want to continue hanging around lawyers? No. It felt like it was weighing me down. And so the relationships died shortly thereafter. Spoiler alert: those "friends" are often the people who criticize you after you've found success, saying all those negative things behind your back. "Oh she's just lucky" or "Oh she was able to succeed because [insert some factor of "luck" that you didn't have to work for]." Can you count these friendships as a real loss in the end? Probably not. And moving on from them makes space for new people to enter your life.

Let me end on this note. And this might be the most important point of this entire journal entry. The judgment and criticism you will receive says more about the person it's coming from than it does about you. Read that one again! I forget if I read that in a book or heard someone talk about this, but it is so incredibly true. When someone judges or criticizes you, she's revealing her own beliefs. For example, the person who says "you really think it's smart to leave a stable job to do something so risky?" is revealing HER beliefs that a stable, corporate job is the only route to financial stability and HER belief that risk-taking isn't smart. Your bold move to decide to believe something different will force her to examine her own beliefs on this subject. Does that make sense? And then, AFTER you succeed, she's really going to be forced to examine her own beliefs then. She can no longer call you foolish for quitting and trying to start your own business.

Let's break this down further, because it's applicable to other areas of life too. She might hate her corporate job, but in her mind it's the only option to financial stability so that's why she stays. If you come along and show her that another option is available, she'll be forced to examine that deeply held belief and decide why she's choosing to remain in a job she hates. And I hate to say it, but most people are going to shut you out at that point. It's too much internal conflict. They don't want to see you, talk to you, hear about your new business because every time they see the joy on your face, it's going to cause internal conflict against that deeply held belief that a corporate job is the only route to financial stability. And people just hate conflict. It's easier to shut it out than to open up and say, hey, maybe this firm belief that I've built my career and my life around isn't really true. It's a lot easier to judge, be mean, and say hurtful things behind your back. Let's talk about this principle in another area of life. Perhaps you recently got engaged and you have a friend who can't seem to find anyone to date for longer than a month or two. This friend expresses congratulations to your face, but talks negatively behind your back. Think about it: her negativity says more about her than it does about you, right? Your engagement is bringing up all the negativity in her mind and in her heart that says, "I'm not lovable enough for a long-term relationship, let alone engagement and marriage." When you understand this dynamic, you can't get all that upset with them. They're speaking from a place of deep hurt. So send them a quiet blessing under your breath, put some distance between you, and move on for now. You can't afford to have that kind of energy in your life weighing you down.

I hope this journal entry was helpful to you and made you think about life from a different perspective. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every Monday night, click here to subscribe.

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I'm sharing a podcast interview I recorded two weeks ago with a career change coach named Vilma Usaite. We spoke about my career change journey from start to finish and it turned out to be such a deep and meaningful conversation. She previously worked in finance and quit her corporate job, too! Here are some of the points we covered in the conversation:

• how one pivotal life event woke me up and made me realize that life is short and that I had no reason not to pursue my dreams
• how my trip to the Virgin Islands in 2008 completely changed the course of my life
• how my health issues disappeared in a matter of weeks after I left the law
• the pleasant by-products of a career change (like better health and a great romantic relationship)
• how working on your mindset is more important than working on your website when you start a new business
• how I learned first-hand that abundance is an internal game and does not depend on your outside circumstances 
• about the new paradigm of running a business by embracing the feminine flow (as opposed to the masculine "hustle" mentality)
• about pursuing an individual version of success 

To listen to the full podcast on Spotify, click here. To listen through Apple iTunes, click here.

If a career change is in your future, you can follow Vilma Usaite on Instagram by clicking here. You can also visit her website by clicking here. I urge you to listen to her podcasts, read her blog, and get in touch with her if you need help making a transition from one career to another. She looks at career change from a holistic perspective and, in my opinion, a career change made from this aligned, centered place is much more likely to work out in the end.  

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every Monday night, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I want to talk to the aspiring business owners out there. The new year brings a fresh start and new goals, and maybe you've decided that 2021 is your year to pursue the start-up business you've been dreaming about. If that's you, have you thought about your business as an investment? It is! Unlike a salaried job, a start-up business holds much more potential for exponential growth. While a salaried position commonly comes with yearly increases of 3% to 5%, a start-up business is more akin to buying a home in an up and coming area. If all goes well, you can turn a $100,000 initial investment into $1 million in just a matter of five or six years for example. I love this analogy in particular because when I quit my lawyer job I was at a juncture in my life where I could've put a nice down payment on a condo, but I decided to use that money to start grace + hudson instead.

So, now that we're thinking about a start-up business as an investment, let's talk about a phrase that aspiring business owners should keep in mind: if you aren't willing to invest in yourself and your business, don't expect anyone else to. When I first heard this, it cut like a knife but oh did it resonate. I was at the beginning of my business journey and cutting corners to save money was of course top of mind. I continually, though, came back to this phrase. I keenly understood that if I don't treat my business as an investment and invest money where it is reasonably needed, how can I expect people to invest in me and my idea by purchasing my products? This phrase saved me a lot of time and wasted effort trying to find ways to constantly cut corners. It also turned my start-up idea into a real brand and not just some DIY-looking hobby that I was trying to pass off as a legitimate business worthy of customer dollars.

Now, in my 4 years as a business owner, I have encountered a lot of start-up small business owners. And a lot of them harbor this negative attitude towards investing in their business. For example, they aren't getting any sales on their website but they don't want to spend money on a professional photographer to improve their product photos. They aren't familiar with basic marketing concepts, but they don't want to spend money on a $200 online course. It might sound cliche but you get what you give. And when you send a message out into the world that your business isn't worth appropriately investing in, then you're going to attract people who think your business isn't worth investing in. Do you feel me?

If you find you're harboring this attitude, what can you do? Two things come to mind - one is practical and one is mental. First, let's talk practical. There are ways to do things in a cost effective manner if money is an issue - you'll just need to get a little creative and think outside the box. For example, during the first few years of your business, work with the best photographer your budget will allow. Perhaps you can find a newbie who's just starting out with her business or maybe you can find a student at your local college who's pursuing photography and trying to build her portfolio. She'll often do it for free or for very little money, but she'll have a lot more photography skills than you do with your iPhone camera! As another example, if you don't have the money to take that online marketing class, email the instructor to inquire about payment plans. Often these instructors will allow you to pay for the class in installments. And, it goes without saying, instead of buying those new shoes you've had your eye on, put that money towards an item you need for your business. Some sacrifice is usually necessary when you're first starting out, but it'll be worth it in the end.

Second, let's address the mental side of this. Your reasons for not investing appropriate funds in your business may be 100% practical. For example, you have high expenses right now and there's nothing you can do about it, in which case perhaps you put off starting your business until you can get your finances in order. But I often find that money is not the sole explanation. Usually there's something else lurking in the background. If you aren't willing to invest in your business it might mean:

• You don't think your business is worth investing in
• You don't truly believe in your business idea
• You don't have confidence that your business can be successful
• You don't think you deserve a better life than the 9-to-5 most people pursue
• The idea of business success actually kind of scares you (this is more common than you think! Google articles on "imposter syndrome")

Subconscious beliefs like these might be holding you back and manifesting as your unwillingness to invest in your business. Does that make sense? If one of these beliefs has a really big hold on you, you might even need the help of a coach or therapist to process it, pick it apart, dispose of it, and replace it with a more productive belief. If that's not the direction you'd like to go, try finding articles, books, and podcasts that talk about the mental and emotional issues that female entrepreneurs often encounter, self-confidence, imposter syndrome, etc. These might provide some "lightbulb moments" that snap you out of your current train of thought.

I'd like to end on this note. When you invest wholeheartedly in your business and really believe you have a service or product that can really serve others or solve a problem, people will take notice. People love to engage with businesses that radiate this energy. It feels good. It feels joyful. And conversely, people can also feel when something is off - they might not be able to pinpoint exactly what it is, but they'll be less likely to engage with your business.

If you'd like to subscribe to my Weekly Journal, click here to enter your name and email address. My Weekly Journal will be sent straight to your inbox each Monday night!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I wanted to talk about a shift in mindset that happened for me when I quit my lawyer job and started grace + hudson. It's something that is so simple, I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. This shift has had a huge impact on how I look at my goals and how I prioritize my time. If you're stuck in a job you don't like (even if you're really good at it!) this journal entry is for you. This might be one of the keys that can help you unlock the door to your next, more fulfilling career.

Let's get right to it. The mindset shift that happened for me was this - am I striving for STUFF or am I striving for PEACE AND PERSONAL FULFILLMENT? Now, let me back up for one quick second before we dive into this. I wouldn't call myself a materialistic person or someone who owns a lot of luxury items - in fact, I don't think I own even one item from Gucci, Louis Vuitton, etc. But I still found this mindset shift to be life-changing for me. So before you say, hey, I'm not really into "name brand" things and therefore this isn't applicable to me, keep on reading.

Back when I was a lawyer, just a few short years ago, I unconsciously was striving for STUFF. A good job, a promotion, a pay raise, a nice apartment, savings in the bank, contributions to my 401(k), etc, etc. I say unconsciously because I never really stopped to think about why I was working so hard. I just followed. Followed what everyone else was doing, followed what people in my profession were doing, followed what I was "supposed" to do as a graduate of a top law school and Ivy League college. 

When I left that world - you know, the world of corporate America and traditional office jobs - and started doing things on my own, I had to start forming goals and making long-term decisions for myself. Meaning, I no longer had a figurative "checklist" handed to me by a boss or superior as to what I was "supposed" to be striving for (i.e. a promotion, pay raise, etc). It wasn't long before I noticed something that felt pretty pathetic and sad - I had never sat down and really thought about what I want for myself. Instead, I was just adopting these figurative checklists as my own. I thought, "Could this be why I've been so unhappy?"

You'll notice something on these corporate America "checklists" - they're all about STUFF. Acquiring the best performance review score, the biggest pay raise, the next promotion, the internal awards, etc. There is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING about acquiring personal fulfillment and satisfaction. Think about it, when was the last time your boss asked you, "Stacy, do you feel in alignment with your career? With the path you're on? Do you feel a sense of personal fulfillment? If not, how can I help you get there? Do you feel at peace with your work-life balance and feel like you are at a good place in your work and personal life?" For me, that was a big fat NEVER.

This leads us - often blindly - to pursue a lot of material goals to the exclusion of intangible, often more important goals. I don't know about you, but I worked at some pretty big law firms and the checklist of goals involved getting a promotion, a nice car, a house in the nice part of the city, getting married with a big engagement ring, etc. And when you "grow up" sorta speak in this world and haven't been exposed to any other career or job, it's hard not to fall in line and strive to acquire these things, too. I mean, afterall, it's what I'm "supposed" to do, right? Everyone else is doing it. I guess that means it's what I'm "supposed" to be striving for? 

When I left the legal profession, I realized how highly inaccurate this was. And I felt pretty sad about it. How had I missed something so glaring? How had I gone down this path without even realizing it? How had I not realized sooner that I was so unhappy because I was (a) pursuing mostly tangible things to the total neglect of more important internal things and personal goals and (b) pursuing someone else's version of "success" without even knowing what my own personal definition of the word meant?

I slowly shifted into a new mindset which, I can basically sum up as this: a shift from focusing on tangible things to intangible things. Instead of working towards getting that nice, new car I now want to work hard towards achieving an awesome work-life balance that leaves me feeling energized, fulfilled, and at peace in all the right ways. It's funny, but now that I do work that fulfills me on a soul-level, I find that I don't need the after-work shopping trips (and other purchases) quite so much. Looking back, I think I "treated myself" to all that stuff because I felt pretty unfulfilled on the inside. You know how it goes - I was trying to fill that hole with things like new shoes - and we all know that thrill only lasts for a short while. The only thing that can fill that whole is doing the inner work and finding out what truly fills it up in a healthy manner. For you that might mean a new position, or a new career, or maybe just a shift in goals. The answer is different for everyone.

This brings me to my last point. We go to these great schools, and get these great degrees, and we are programmed to choose from one or two or maybe three different career paths. There's different reasons for this which I won't get into here, but remember that we're all different. No two of us is built the same. Not even twins! Think about that. Yet we're all supposed to fit onto these narrow career pathways? It's not right. And it's what has a lot of very talented people feeling very trapped, very unfulfilled, and very unhappy with their day-to-day lives.

So, I challenge you to a sit down like the one I had. Where you truly unplug from the career goals you're programmed to have and write down what YOU want for your life and how your career fits into that. I bet you'll find some things on that list that you can't buy. You can't buy work-life balance at the store. You can't buy a sense of inner peace at the mall. You can't buy personal fulfillment online. But yet I believe those are the things we should be striving for most and, when you do, you'll find you need less and less stuff in your shopping cart to help fill the hole.

If you'd like to subscribe to my Weekly Journal, click here to enter your name and email address. My Weekly Journal will be sent straight to your inbox each Monday night!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I wanted to take a minute to talk about role models. Two weeks ago, I wrote about breaking out of your traditional office job to do work you love, and this journal entry falls right in line with that concept. The "leaders" we work with have a lot of influence over our perceptions of our career, and their power often goes unnoticed or unacknowledged. Role models shape how you see your career and what you desire for your career. Sometimes for the better, but also sometimes for the worst. So let's take a minute to become aware of the role models in our life and to consciously decide whether they represent what we want for ourselves. If not, the first step to breaking out of your current career to do work you love might be to get some new role models. 

I was prompted to write this journal entry for two reasons: 1) it's something I really struggled with as a lawyer as I'll explain below and 2) there are some famous women that people are idolizing these days and it just seems so misplaced to me. Often, I feel people "worship" other people just because everyone else is doing it. Not because they've actually stopped to think whether this woman is a solid role model for their own goals and is truly representative of their values. So, I guess you can say that I see this problem playing out on a macro level (with famous women) and on a micro level (with the women we work with in our own career on a daily basis).  

We've all heard the phrase, "If you don't want the job your boss has, it's time to move on", right? The idea is that if you don't like what your boss is doing, you should probably reevaluate whether you are on the right career path. Makes a lot of sense. But there's something missing here. Everyone focuses on the actual tasks and responsibilities, and no one ever talks about the kind of person your boss is - whether he or she has a good life outside of work, whether he or she is truly happy, whether he or she seems at peace with life, whether he or she is healthy and thriving, etc. 

Let me illustrate this with my own experience as a lawyer. There came a time in my legal career - and it was quite early on - where I couldn't help but think to myself, "These people are miserable. I don't want what they have. I don't aspire to be them. I don't even like them." I've always been an observer and this was such an obvious, glaring, punch-you-in-the-face kind of observation. But it seemed that a lot of my peers didn't even notice this, let alone care about it. It really disturbed me. If you've worked at a law firm before, you know. A lot of the partners (the highest level you can achieve at a law firm) were still working until the wee hours of the morning, a lot of them were divorced, all of them were stressed, most rarely went to the gym and often ate unhealthy meals because they were always working late. They seemed to never have time for their kids for the same reason. For example, I worked at a very large law firm in NYC before I went to law school and I worked under a few female attorneys. They had babies and their nannies would literally bring the babies to the office around dinnertime to say goodnight, while the female attorneys stayed at the office until 8, 9, 10 o'clock at night or even later. I thought to myself, "Why did you even have a child if you never even see her?" It bothered me so much. Here's another harsh reality I observed early on - some attorneys I worked with did drugs. I hate to break it to you, but this stuff goes on at high levels. I'll tell you a little story that happened during my first or second year as an attorney. My office was next to the "visiting attorney's" office - you know, if a lawyer from another office came to work with us for the day, he or she would use this office. There was a partner from our NYC office that would frequently come and use this office. He was always sniffing and snorting - kind of like he had a bad, bad case of allergies. Well, one such day, one of my co-workers was in my office with me and we heard the partner making all these noises. I said, "Geez, that guy seriously needs to go to an allergist or something." And my co-worker said, "Stacy. Are you serious? That guy doesn't have allergies. He does cocaine." That was the first time I really had to acknowledge what kind of profession I was working in. Just a year or two before that, I was in a position where I observed attorneys snorting cocaine at a party. It's a big problem in the legal profession, in addition to alcohol abuse. The number of times I was pressured into drinking at a work event is too many to count. This is reality, guys. I've seen it and experienced it. Let me share another harsh reality - some women sleep their way to the top. It happens. More than it should. I can think of two women in particular at the law firms I've worked at who achieved partner level this way. So, needless to say, you can see how I was always questioning the "leaders" and "role models" I was supposed to aspire to be in the legal profession.

My point here is to illustrate for you something you really need to consider - are your role models and the "leaders" in your life actually exhibiting the characteristics of a great leader and a great person? It's okay to answer with a big fat "NO" even if everyone around you seems to admire them. There are a lot of good apples out there, but there are a lot of bad apples out there too. The fact of the matter is, we become what we aspire to, and if you aren't consciously choosing great role models, you might end up like the people you are blindly surrounding yourself with.

Similarly, have YOU decided what you want for your own life, both in and out of the office? Or are you blindly following the path your career sets before you, without giving it any thought? I think this gets a lot of people into a lot of trouble. You work and work and work, get to the role you've been desiring (such as partner at a law firm) and find yourself miserable. It happened to me. At the age of 34, I got what I felt was my "dream job" and I was miserable. Why? Because I spent much of my time working towards a job title, and neglected other areas of my life as a result. At the time, I defined "success" very narrowly to basically include my job title, salary, and concrete work achievements. When I got to the "top" I felt empty. This is also probably because I ignored the signs (i.e. the things I described above) along the way. As early as my first year out of law school, I questioned whether I wanted the life that my superiors had, yet I ignored that. It's my own fault that I got so deep into a profession I should've left a lot sooner. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess! Today, I define "success" to include my health and wellness, my peace of mind, my relationships, how much time I'm able to spend doing things I enjoy, etc. It's a very different ballgame. 

So, I caution you today to choose your role models wisely and consciously. Don't blindly follow. Have the courage to be honest with yourself - to admit to yourself that maybe you don't want the type of life your superiors have created. Awareness is half the battle! Once you are aware, you can choose differently. Surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do, who are living the way you want to live, who seem genuinely happy and at peace, who are healthy and radiating good vibes, who got to where they are today because they deserved it and worked for it. Today, it's easier than ever to find like-minded people -- with social media, there are so many people available to you to learn from. Sure, it's not as good as having a real life role model in your office, but it's the next best thing! 

xoxo,

Stacy 

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I'm talking about a very simple "key" to breaking out of your traditional job and pursuing your own business. It's so simple but it's a blind spot for a lot of people. It was for me! But once I realized it, I'm not going to lie, it kind of rocked my world in more ways than one. It touched not only my career, but my relationships, my finances, and my health and wellness.

What's one of the simple keys to success? It's taking responsibility. So many people want to "live the dream" and be their own boss and live a beautiful life, but they are unwilling to spend even 30 minutes on the weekend working on their dream. It blows my mind! You see how it's so simple yet such an issue for people? I experienced it myself! I previously worked as a lawyer and my hours were really long and included weekends. The last thing I wanted to do was devote 30 minutes each day, or even once per week, working on my dream. Looking back, I see how I was my own worst enemy at times. I expected the world for myself, yet I was unwilling to do much to get there, and then I sat there in misery feeling trapped at my lawyer job. Umm...hello! This is not rocket science, yet I failed to see my situation through that very simple lens. I complained and whined, feeling like a victim, trapped in a career I hated, yet I wasn't willing to take any responsibility to get myself out of it.

I see this vicious circle play out over and over again. People want things but aren't willing to work for them. And then they complain that they don't have them. Right? I bet there's at least one area of your life where - if you got honest with yourself - you'll admit this is true. It's like the girl who downs a bottle of wine at night and then wonder why she feels awful during her workout the next morning. Or the woman who eats Chik-fil-A for lunch five days a week and complains that she wants to lose weight. Or the guy who drinks 8 beers at night and then wonders why he can't get up for work the next day. Or the guy who wants to live life on his own terms and wonders why all of his relationships fail. 

So what's the key to moving beyond this? It's so simple. Once you recognize it, the answer hits you in the face. Take the examples above: the girl at the workout class limits herself to one or two glasses of wine the night before her workout, the woman who wants to lose weight starts eating the Chik-fil-A salad for lunch instead of the greasy sandwich and fries, the guy who can't get up for work limits himself to 2 or 3 beers, and the guy who can't hold a relationship starts taking into account his partner's perspective and learns how to compromise on decisions. Awareness is half the battle. No, it's MORE than half the battle.

The rest of the battle is snapping yourself out of the vicious mental loop. Back when I was a lawyer, I'd catch myself in this vicious circle, feeling sorry for myself, and then I'd say, "Hey, hold on a minute." I'd recognize the downward spiral and I'd call myself out on it. I'd recognize that I can do something about this and affirm that I'm willing to do something about this. I'd also say to myself, "I have no permission to whine right now if I'm not willing to do anything about this." Take responsibility! Be the adult you are and start recognizing that your actions (or lack of action) have a consequence. Recognize that you are in control: you can do something about it or you can whine, the choice is yours. Stop giving up your power so easily to this vicious mental loop that doesn't even make logical sense. Empower yourself. It really isn't as hard as it seems.

What's one area of your life where you're falling for this trap? Don't beat yourself for it! Just become aware of it, so you can change it the next time it happens. Cheers to recognizing where we're holding ourselves back!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. This week's journal entry is a follow up to the two that came before it. We already tackled the big, complicated question, "How much money do I need to quit my job and start my own business?" And then we explored the feelings underneath the moans and groans that followed my answer to that question. This week, I want to talk about how you pull yourself out of that place - you know, the place where you feel stuck and helpless and like your dreams will never, ever become a reality. It is possible, and the power rests in you. Shockingly, it can often be quite easy to pull yourself out of that place of helplessness. You just need to have the discipline and resolve to consistently do it. So here it goes...

You have GOT to change the way you think and speak about your circumstances. There is power in your words. There is even greater power in your thoughts. I've talked about this before in prior journal entires so I won't repeat myself here. But let's talk about the ways in which you can turn around your victim-oriented thinking. Remember that from last week? Victim mentality is when you're the victim of your outside circumstances. It goes something like this: "I'll never be able to start my own business because I will never have enough money" or "I already work 80 hours per week! I don't have time to work on my own business so I am stuck at this job forever it looks like" or "Even if I cut my expenses, I still wouldn't have enough money to start my own business so it looks like that option's off the table." We sometimes secretly like to get stuck in victim mentality because it "protects" us. We don't need to get out there and do anything or make any changes. We don't need to take any risks, and we don't need to take any responsibility. We can just blame our circumstances for the reason we're not where we want to be. It's safe and comfortable in that zone.

But, no sir! Not under my watch. While victim mentality might feel comfortable, it actually requires you to give up your personal power. How do you get that power back? You start changing the way you think and speak about your circumstances. You stop yourself when you start to say or think a self-defeating thought like the ones I've already mentioned. And, instead, you start saying things like this:

• If I make a budget, I know I can save up enough money to start my own business. It might take me two years to save that money, but I know it'll be worth it. Plus two years goes so fast! And in the grand scheme of things, two years is nothing.
• I work 80 hours per week and, you know what, that's no longer acceptable to me. Something's gotta change and I know I have to be the one to change it. Since this job/career is not a good fit for me, I'm going to find a job with better hours so that I'll have time during the evenings and weekends to work on my dream to start a business. 
• I know if I cut my expenses back, I'll be able to save up money that can go towards my business. It might not be enough, so what else can I do? Well, I can pitch the business idea to my family and see if they might donate some money to me. I can promise them a return on their investment. It might not be a huge percentage return, but I have a feeling my uncle would love to support me in this endeavor. This weekend I'll also schedule some time for me to brainstorm other ways to fund my business, such as a small business loan for women.
• Starting my own business is going to feel challenging at times, but boy I know it's going to pay off! I am going to learn so much and meet so many new people.
• I'm not sure where to start, but you know what? I've tackled big projects at work and in school before. I'll just put everything I think I need to do down on paper. Then I'll take those tasks and try to divide them into smaller parts. And then I'll pick a small task that feels really doable to me today.

On and on the list can go...

It's actually kind of fun to take negative thoughts and flip them around. It becomes sort of like a game.

Just watch and see how quickly you can flip your victim mentality around starting your own business. Be consistent and you can see results in a matter of days. You'll start feeling better, meaning you'll start feeling more empowered to accomplish your goals. You'll start to tackle the small tasks that'll get those dreams of yours on the path of progressing forward. Don't underestimate the power of all that good energy and all that good motivation! Of course, it'll be up to you to use it, but it'll be yours for the taking.

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am sharing the one thing I want all aspiring entrepreneurs to know. I have so many tips, tricks, and information to share with aspiring entrepreneurs, but if I had to boil it down to one thing, it would be this: in order to be successful at leaving behind your day job and starting your own business, you have to be willing to completely change your thinking. 

If you've been reading my journal entries for a while now, you may have noticed that I sometimes say, "You need to work on your mindset more than your website in order to be successful at owning your own business." Today's journal entry expands upon that. 

So what exactly do I mean by "changing your thinking?" Well, let's start with the present moment first. Most likely, today you find yourself in a job (or perhaps you recently left a job) that you don't like very much. Or maybe you like it, but it's just not fulfilling and you can't imagine spending the rest of your life doing it. Well, how did you wind up in this situation in the first place - working at a job you don't like or don't find fulfilling? You have a set of internal beliefs that played out in real life and brought you to the now. Most likely, those internal beliefs go something like this:

• Work isn't supposed to be fun
• The purpose of work is to earn a paycheck
• I'm supposed to work until age 65, give or take, and then I can retire and enjoy my life
• The right thing to do after college is to get a stable job with good income potential
• I work an office job because I need health insurance
• I stay at my stable job because I need the benefits
• Having a regular paycheck makes me feel secure  
• I work a 9 to 5 job during the week and I countdown to the weekend. Friday at 5 pm is my favorite. They say TGIF for a reason!
• Who am I to think that work should be any different than this? Everyone else feels the same way. That's just life. We all have to work to pay the bills.

Do some or all of these beliefs ring true for you? And do you find yourself at a job you don't particularly love? If your answer is "yes" then you, my friend, have created the exact set of real life circumstances to support your beliefs. 

Therefore, it naturally follows that you can create a new set of beliefs. And those new beliefs will create a new set of real life circumstances that support those new beliefs. Do you follow me? If not, read this over again a little more slowly. The "big picture" logic of it all is actually quite easy. It's getting from here to there that's not so easy.

So how do you get from here to there? You begin by changing your thinking. You have to, have to, have to change the way you think about work and career. Please believe me when I say this. I am speaking from 100% real life experience. You see, I quit my lawyer job not once but twice. And both times I left to create a jewelry business. The first jewelry business (which happened in 2010) failed after one year. The second one (grace + hudson) is in its fourth year and thriving. When people ask me what the major difference has been, I always tell them that it's my mindset. The first time I quit, I had the beliefs that are listed above. I actually felt guilty and naive at times for trying to make a living doing something I enjoy. I'm not sure if it was (a) the guilt or (b) the doubt that I could go against the grain that killed my dream first, but I was back working as a lawyer within a year. I truly was not in alignment with my dream. I was in alignment with working in a career I didn't really like. It can be hard to examine your beliefs and have enough self-awareness to admit that. But looking back, gosh it was so clear. I honestly didn't believe I deserved better.

The second time I quit I was in a totally different headspace. Part of that was the wisdom that comes with growing a little older, and part of that was some real transformational work I had done with a therapist after I lost my dad to cancer. I was in a dark place at that time in my life. Everything was going wrong and it was just one thing after another. I was finally in enough pain to say, "Ok! Enough is enough! Something's gotta change here!" And that desire for change propelled me to work on myself and really challenge myself to grow beyond this dark place. It didn't happen overnight that's for sure, but slowly and surely I worked on a little tiny aspect of myself, and then another, and another, and another. And soon enough the momentum was great enough to make big changes. I'm quite a different person than I was back then, doing a different job, living in a different city, with different friends. Making big changes like that are never easy, but I can honestly say, looking back, the journey was a pretty beautiful one!

So what's the next step for you? I'd say it's taking 30 minutes of true self-reflection and writing down your honest beliefs about work. Maybe it resembles the bullet point list above, maybe it doesn't. Then, write down your ideal beliefs about work. Chances are, it looks like the opposite of the statements above. For example (again going off of our bullet point list above), the first item can read: "Work can be fun and joyful - it doesn't need to be painful and boring." The second item can read: "The purpose of work is to use my gifts and talents in service to the world around me. Money is a natural by-product of sharing my gifts. When I do what I am called to do, what I was put on this earth to do, money is going to eventually start naturally flowing from that." You get the idea.

If you find your current beliefs and your ideal beliefs about work don't line up, you have to start changing your internal beliefs to more closely resemble your ideals. How do you start doing that? Well, maybe it's as easy as reading your list every single day before you leave for work and, on your walk or drive to work, you allow yourself to really imagine what it might feel like to have a job that fulfills these ideals. If you're doing it right, it won't be long before you arrive to work with a huge smile on your face. And then it won't be long before you use this new positive energy to make some transformational changes in your life. You'll know the right steps to take, just be open and aware.

Or maybe it's not going to start that easy. Maybe it's going to require the help of a therapist because you have some tougher issues to work through. For example, perhaps you grew up in a home with food insecurity which led to the deeply held belief that "there is never going to be enough." Maybe that belief has infiltrated how you think about work and money, and you need some assistance developing healthier thoughts around these topics. Whatever path is yours, honor it and know that the obstacles you have been given were given to you for a reason. If you overcome them, you are going to grow and evolve into a higher version of yourself. Trust me, it won't be for naught.

If you still aren't getting this, if you just aren't buying it, let me give you a very simple analogy of how your thoughts can really change your experience of a thing. I have a dog. He loves to walk. You know what he loves even more than walking? Sniffing. This dog loves to sniff anything and everything as we walk along our path. I mean, he can sniff a tiny uninteresting patch of weeds for 6 minutes straight while I stand there feeling unproductive and thinking of all the steps we could've gotten on my Fitbit if only my dog would walk quickly. I'll admit it - our difference of opinion on how a walk should be walked had me a little irritated at times when he was a young puppy. But you know what changed? Me. One day, I had this thought seemingly out of nowhere - we do not take dog walks in order to rack up steps on a Fitbit. That's not the point. We take dog walks so that my dog can empty his bladder before I go to work and get a little fresh air and smell the weeds and grass and fire hydrants around the neighborhood (I once had a dog trainer who referred to this as the human equivalent of reading the morning paper - they want to know what's been going on in the neighborhood!). When I changed my thinking away from "this should be a productive walk with lots of steps" my experience of our walks changed with it. I didn't get restless. I didn't look at my Fitbit with dismay to see we had only taken 30 steps in 9 minutes. I even started to use this time to say little silent prayers over the day ahead of me, listen to a podcast, or catch up on the texts on my phone. And ever since then, our walks have been just lovely. 

You see how your thoughts about a thing shape your experience? You see how changing your thoughts about a thing can drastically change your experience? Big or small, it's no different. Thoughts help shape and create your reality, so use them wisely.

p.s. If you enjoy my journal, I will be doing an Instagram Live on Tuesday, September 22nd, at 8 pm eastern over on my Instagram account which is @graceandhudson. It's a little Q&A time together where you can ask me anything about career change, starting your own business, or growing a new business. I hope you'll join me! If you can't make that time, feel free to send me a question at stacy@graceandhudson.com. I'll answer it on the Live and you can catch the replay. 

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am sharing more about my mantra practice. Since the coronavirus outbreak, I've been super intentional about setting a mantra each morning to come back to during moments of sadness or panic (it's been a rollercoaster of emotions, hasn't it?!). I've been sharing these mantras on my Instagram each day and I've gotten so much positive feedback that I thought I'd discuss this practice a little more in this week's journal entry.

Someone asked, "How did you start this practice and how can I start my own?" and I honestly never thought about it before. It was a very organic process for me. I started listening to guided meditations and oftentimes there would be a phrase or two in the meditation that would really resonate with me. For instance, "Today I have everything I need" would be a great example of a mantra that would resonate with me right now, in the midst of the coronavirus outbreak where money, food, toilet paper and health are no longer guarantees. I would take that phrase with me throughout the day and repeat it when I felt stressed, overwhelmed, nervous, or depressed. I started doing this more and more often, until eventually it turned into a full-blown daily practice. I now have a journal where I write down the phrases that resonate with me and when I need a good mantra for the day, all I have to do is open this journal and pick one that strikes the mood for the day.

So how can you start selecting your own daily mantras? I'd recommend the same course of action! Listen to guided meditations (p.s. they don't need to be long - there are many 5 minute meditations available online for free). Then start writing down the phrases from the meditations that resonate with you. You'll know them when you hear them because the words will cause a wave of calm to flow over your body. Then, when you feel panic, stress, or sadness during the day, go back to that sheet of paper and silently read those calming phrases to yourself. You'll build up a collection of mantra phrases in no time, and you can come back to it every morning to select one to take with you throughout the day. If you are new to meditation, I like Gabby Bernstein a lot. Her mediations are typically short, accessible, and not intimidating.   

Why do mantras work? I think mantras are important because they reframe the story you've got running through your head. You can repeat negative thoughts all day long, or you can repeat positive thoughts all day long. The choice is yours. However, most of us are not even aware of the thoughts in our head, let alone whether they are positive or negative (and unfortunately for some reason the human brain always wants to repeat negative stories). There is tremendous power in gaining this awareness, and then using it for good. It was actually a big part of my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner as I had to reframe the negative, limiting career stories I was telling myself. Maybe I'll write about that next week!

Stay positive, stay calm, stay healthy!

xoxo,

Stacy