Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm writing about failure. I heard this line the other day, “There is freedom in failure” and it resonated with me so much. We think of failure so negatively, but it doesn't have to be that way. I happen to have some first hand experience with this.

About ten years ago, my first jewelry business "failed." Yep, that's right! grace + hudson is actually my second jewelry business. You’ve probably heard me talk about this before, but I'll tell the 2 minute version of the story for those who are new to my Weekly Journal. I quit my lawyer job twice, once in 2017 to start grace + hudson and once in 2010 to open a brick + mortar jewelry store in New Jersey where I grew up. I closed that store after just one year and had to go back to being a lawyer. Some would label that a "failure" but, looking back, I realize that grace + hudson wouldn't be what it is today (and maybe it wouldn't even exist!) without that first experience. Let me be more specific. When I had that store in 2010, brides-to-be often came in looking for bridesmaid jewelry gifts. They all raised the same complaints and were looking for similar things. I have never been married myself, so there was no way for me to know how hard it is to find classy jewelry with sophisticated, subtle color to match a wedding. At a giftable price point. That can be worn again after the wedding (so it truly is a “gift” and not just something to wear in the ceremony). Having that first “failed” store was a crucial step in me building a successful second business that focuses on classy, giftable jewelry. Aside from learning about this need in the marketplace, this first “failed” store taught me so much about what it takes to run a business. You can read all day long about what it takes to start a business (and you should because knowledge is power!) but until you’re in the thick of it, you just don’t know. It’s just one of those things you need to experience first-hand. All the mistakes I made the first time around taught me how to be better this time around. So it goes without saying that I don’t for one single second regret opening that first jewelry store in 2010 even though most would label it a “failure.”

After that first "failure" I felt such freedom! Freedom to take risks. Freedom to follow my heart. Freedom to try. Why? I realized that I wasn't going to die! I say that with laughter but I'm serious... so many people avoid following their intuition and their dreams and their ideas because they are paralyzed with fear. In response to this, I always say, "Ok, let's get real here. Bottom line, if you do this, and it doesn't work, you're not going to die from it. I promise." Sure, you might encounter some difficulties along the way, but - like me - the difficulties and the "failures" might be leading you to your big success. You might need the hard moments you're actually trying to avoid. They might be appearing to teach you something very important you'll need for the big success. 

I think - for most people - once you "fail" in a big way, you're not scared of failure ever again. You realize there is a silver lining to every situation. You learn to focus on what you learned from the experience, not how you "failed." Is it really a failure if it grew you as a person? I think most people would say "no." And no one can ever take those important lessons from us. No one can ever steal our growth. These lessons and life skills can never be stolen. And, bonus!, a lot of the skills and lessons you'll learn through "failure" can actually apply to other areas of your life, too. Maybe the "failed" business you started taught you patience, and now you're more patient with your romantic partner. You see what I mean? 

I wish you the freedom to try! The freedom to fail! 

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I'm in the process of creating a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. I only have a few weekly journal entries on the board right now, but I'm adding more on a daily basis. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm answering a question from a reader who started a small business: what happens if you pursue your dream and start your own business, but you hit a bump in the road? The question is not if, but when! Because you will definitely hit a bump in the road at some point. If small business ownership was easy, everyone would be doing it! It comes with challenges, road blocks, and obstacles, but it also teaches you so much and grows you as a person in ways you could never imagine. You don't grow all that much when life is easy and smooth all the time, right? That's right! So here are my thoughts on encountering bumps in the road.

First, let's get really honest. During the first 2 years of my business - so we're talking about 2017 and 2018 - I would get so discouraged at times that I would look for jobs online every so often. And by "every so often" I mean every other month or so. It's true! It is overwhelming to be the owner of a new business (obviously!). There were so many times I thought I would never make it, where I thought I would run out of money, where I thought it was just plain easier to collect a paycheck from a regular job. Know ahead of time that it is 100% normal to feel this way. I think I might have applied to three or four jobs, but usually things would turn around before I even got around to submitting a resume. I'd feel more positive for a time, and then I'd feel discouraged again and I'd start looking at jobs again. Looking back, I realize the act of searching the job listings comforted me. It reminded me that, even if things got really bad, I wouldn't be living on the street. I would simply get another job.

You see, people don't pursue their business ownership dream because they are so incredibly fearful that it won't work out. But let's talk that through. So what? If it doesn't work out, you'll just get another job. And, if you're smart enough to start a business, you're smart enough to know when it's time to do something different. You'll be running out of time or money, or both, and you'll start looking for jobs before that happens. Maybe you'll get a part-time gig and continue working on your business at the same time. Maybe you'll just abandon the entire thing altogether. You might have a few rough months. Or maybe you'll move in with your family for a short while as you re-group. But the fact of the matter is, you aren't going to be homeless, friend-less, and family-less if things don't work out. You just aren't. So stop making decisions based on fears that are not likely to happen.

Let's get back to the main question now: what happens if you hit a bump in the road? Well, you'll navigate it the best you know how! That's all. That's it. Well what the heck does that mean?!? It's going to be different for everyone. Maybe you have a rock solid family that supports you every step of the way and their kind and inspiring words are something you can turn to whenever you are feeling discouraged or overwhelmed. Maybe you have a rock solid faith and you'll turn to prayer. Maybe exercise is your safe haven and you'll turn to a workout class that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Maybe, for you, it's all about meditating and taking things one day at a time. Maybe it'll be a combination of things. Remember what I said before? That starting a business teaches you amazing things and grows you as a person? Well, here's where that happens. Maybe one of the things you'll learn during your small business ownership journey will be the coping skills to get through hard times. Eventually, you'll overcome so many challenges that you'll come to know and understand that you can make it through anything. That happened for me last year. I signed a lease to open a brick and mortar store in February 2020, just a few weeks before we found out about the virus. What did I do? Well, I didn't freak out! I didn't quit! I just took it day by day and turned to my coping skills toolkit. Now that I survived that, I know I can survive anything - whether that be in business or in life. That's just one of the ways that owning my own business has grown me as a person.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I'm in the process of creating a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. I only have a few weekly journal entries on the board right now, but I'm adding more on a daily basis and hope to finish it next month. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about working on the inside more than you work on the outside. What does that mean? Well, if you've strived for a degree, a particular job, a high salary, a husband, 2.5 kids, a dog, a house with a white picket fence and you still aren't happy that means you've neglected the inside. You've spent so much time working on the outside that you've forgotten (or were unaware of) the work required on the inside. As a society, we have it all wrong. We have it backwards. When you work on the inside first, the outside stuff comes easily... and gracefully too. But for some reason we're taught that you need to push and strive and hustle for all the outside stuff and only then will you become happy on the inside. Wrong!

I observed and became aware of this early on - when I was 22 working at my first job as a paralegal at a very prestigious law firm in New York City. This was before I went to law school. All of the lawyers working at this law firm seemed miserable yet they appeared to "have it all" - a law degree from Harvard or Columbia, a ridiculously high salary, a spouse with an equally impressive degree and salary, a million dollar condo in NYC, a new baby, a fancy car, and luxurious travels. It was quite obvious to me I('m a pretty deep thinker and analyzer by nature) that striving for all the outside stuff must not be the key to happiness. It couldn't be! These people "had it all" by societal standards and I'm not exaggerating when I say they were miserable. So miserable that a lot of them drank excessively and had other addictions. It's no lie when they say the legal profession has a high rate of depression, suicide, and alcoholism. 

I allowed this observation to guide my life, but I was not without struggle. Societal expectations and the unspoken pressure from family is powerful! Especially when you are still so young in your 20's. I ended up going to a top 25 law school and taking a six-figure job at the age of 26, driving a Lexus, and renting an expensive apartment. Along the way I made some non-traditional decisions but, for the most part, I found myself falling prey to the societal "norms" in the legal profession anyways. Looking back, I realize what an internal conflict it was. I knew outside things weren't the key to happiness yet I found myself striving for them just like everyone else. Yet, unlike everyone else, I internally knew that I wouldn't become "happy" the second I checked all of these things off my list. So there was a sort of emptiness on the inside, and an internal conflict over what I wanted and what society wanted for me. Does that makes sense? Society stresses getting the best job you can at the highest salary you can, buying the nicest house you can, driving the nicest car you can, etc etc. And many people - including our parents and other family members - often reiterate the same message because it's the message they've been hearing all of their lives, too. And it sort of just perpetuates itself, with no one really stopping to think whether it (a) makes sense or (b) resonates as true for them. We just do it. Without thinking. Without analyzing. Without intentionally deciding whether there's a better way that makes sense for us individually. We just follow the crowd. We just follow all the societal and familial expectations because "everyone else is doing it."

Anyways, I couldn't keep up the charade for long. I quit my job as a lawyer after about 3 years. I knew this was not the path for me and I knew I was chasing a life and an "image" that wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't just a case of "I don't like my job." It was a deep, deep knowing that this wasn't the path for me. It literally felt like I was betraying my soul. And so I quit and started my first jewelry business! Yep, grace + hudson is actually my second jewelry business. My first was a storefront in New Jersey in 2010 near where I grew up. The economy was crashing but I didn't want to hear it and I opened my storefront anyway (this was before small businesses could afford to start online shops). That first jewelry business didn't make it and I had to go back to being a lawyer for some time as I figured things out, but it was my first step towards jumping off the fast and furious "societal expectations train" and it ultimately got me to where I am today. 

Looking back at my journey, I am thankful that I woke up so early in my career - in my early 20's. I knew chasing all the outside stuff doesn't lead to happiness, but I guess I needed to experience that first-hand for a few years. I can personally tell you that driving a Lexus and collecting a six-figure paycheck doesn't make you feel better as a person. It doesn't somehow validate you as "worthy" or even "successful." In fact, the thrill wears off pretty fast. When you strive for something, achieve it, and then feel how truly empty the achievement feels, it's...well...depressing. But, like someone with an addiction, you move on to the next achievement and start striving for that, and then the next one and the next one. Do you see how toxic that is? Honestly, for some people it truly does require therapy to work through this issue. I went to therapy beginning early on in my legal profession and I highly recommend it. 

If any of this resonates with you, my advice would be this: work on the inside more than the outside. Work on yourself more than you work on buying a new fancy car. Keep the focus on internal growth and developing into the person you're here to be. We spend so much time going to the gym, getting our hair highlighted, buying new clothes, applying self-tanner....what if we spent even HALF that time working on the inside? I'm telling you, that's the ticket. That's the key. How do I work on the inside, you ask? By reading self-development books, listening to podcasts on personal growth, meditating, journaling, having deep and meaningful conversations with the people we love, going to therapy, taking time to research and explore our given talents and gifts and how we best might use those, reflecting honestly on our unique goals and dreams we want to see come to fruition in this lifetime, working on the relationships that are important to us, learning how to become a better parent and partner, etc etc.

And you know the irony of this whole situation? This too I've experienced first hand. When you work on the inside, all the outside "stuff" shows up all on its own. With ease. With grace. And it feels so much better. For example, when I buy something I want now, today, with money I've earned through grace + hudson, it feels GOOD. Back when I was a lawyer, doing soul-sucking work that left me drained and tired in exchange for dollars, it didn't even feel that good when I spent those dollars.

So, if there's something you want - whether it be a new career, a relationship, a baby - and it's not happening for you, I highly recommend you take an honest look on the inside. Rather than focusing so much on the resume and the interviews, on swiping right on the dating app and exercising to look more attractive, on tracking your ovulation like a science and trying to conceive, start focusing more on the inside stuff. Start working on that part of the equation because, chances are, you've neglected it. The inside part is going to look different for everyone and you might need the help of a therapist to navigate it. But I can tell you it will involve taking an honest look at your beliefs, ideas, habits, and the stories you've been telling yourself about the topic you're struggling with. Those are so, so, so powerful. And you might not even be aware of them. So you're over here trying so hard to lose weight and look pretty to find a man, when really the problem is over there lurking on the inside and you're paying no attention to it. And when that click happens - when you make the shift on the inside - I swear to you, things fall into place like you wouldn't believe. You know that expression "it happened when I wasn't even trying" or "I finally met someone when I stopped looking." Yeah, that's what those common phrases are referring to.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking about motivation and courage. How did I work up the motivation and the courage to actually say "I quit" and start my own business? I get this question a lot. So many people want to follow a similar path, but they don't know how to make the jump from A to B. That's where motivation and courage come in. I think the mistake a lot of people make is that they're looking for something out there, when the jump from A to B really has to come from something inside yourself. And that key, that spark, that something inside of you, has to be powerful enough to give you the motivation and courage to actually make the leap. The key will be different for everyone. In this journal entry, I sharing my key and maybe you'll be able to relate.

I was a lawyer for about 11 years. I hated it from the very beginning. Literally hated it. This wasn't just a case of "work stinks" - this was literally a job that I found toxic (there's a big difference). It felt like an abusive relationship at times (and I don't say that lightly). If you're familiar with the legal profession, you know what I'm talking about and I won't go into all the details here. Fast forward and at around 8 years into my career, I landed what should have been my "dream job." I was working for an international billion dollar corporation as the Head of Employment Law for North and South America. But I felt completely empty inside. That's what happens when you strive for things that don't really resonate with your soul. It's a terrible let down. At about the same time, I lost my father to cancer. Actually, it's the 7 year anniversary today. He passed away on May 3, 2014 after a short 10 month battle with lung cancer. That rocked my world. All of my relatives on his side of my family lived into their 90's. In fact, my grandfather (my father's father) was still alive in his late 90's when my father passed. My father was the epitome of a responsible employee working a steady job, supporting his family, contributing to his 401(k) with the hopes that it would all be worth it in retirement when he finally got to move to the beach and start living life. Well that never happened. He passed away just one month after he turned age 65. Can you imagine? Working so hard for that goal only to pass away before it gets here? That was one of my big wake up calls. Our American culture lives this silly fairytale dream about how retirement is amazing and worth working and saving for for 65 years but in reality many people never get there. Or, you get there and soon after get a part-time job to keep busy because retirement has been, shall we say, somewhat of a let down. I have a relative who's experiencing this right now and it happens more than you think. A life is meant to be lived for all the years of your life, not just from age 65 onwards. And here's another thing that never made sense to me... everyone talks about living on a beach in retirement but most older folks don't like to be out in the sun and heat, right? So where in the world has this story even come from - this fairytale story that you're going to work hard, retire on a beach and live happily ever after? 

In short, I tell you all of this because this is where my motivation and courage to make the huge leap from lawyer to jewelry business owner came from. It came from the experience of losing my father 7 years ago and thinking through life. What path is my life on right now? Do I like where it's going? Does it make sense? Am I just following the story every one is taught to believe, or have I consciously decided this is the right path for me personally? Life is SHORT. And it can be taken away in an instant. I'll never forget the day I found out about my dad's illness and how his cancer was already at stage 4 when they discovered it. And I'll never forget how he longed for the simple things when he was in the midst of his illness. He just longed for a normal day at work. A normal day running errands and cutting the grass. One of my fondest memories of his last days was when he made me lunch. Yep, just warmed up some leftovers in the microwave for me. Life truly is about the simple things. Literally any one of us, at any time, could receive a similar phone call about our own health. What if you found out you only had ten more months to live? Losing a parent in particular gives you a keen awareness of your own immortality. Up until that point, you might live a little bit like you're invincible. But the greatest gift is realizing that you're not. That your time is limited here too. And to make the very most of it. Realizing all of this is how I got up the courage to say "I quit" and got the motivation to start my own business and do what I was put on this planet to do.   

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm writing about a simple idea: If you want different results, you need to make different choices. So many people write to me about wanting to start a business, but they don't want to change anything about their current lifestyle, they don't want to take any risks, and they don't want to give up watching Netflix every night in exchange for working on their business ideas. So this week I'm talking about the importance of making intentional choices when we desire significant changes.

Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? You know the one... "doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results?" If you want to start your own business and/or change careers like I did (or make another big change!) then you have to do something different. Your current decisions have gotten you to your current state of affairs. If you want something different, it all begins with making different choices. For example, if you are currently an attorney making a six-figure salary with a designer handbag habit, something is going to need to change if you want to quit the legal profession and start your own business. For starters, instead of spending money on handbags, you can put that money towards your business ideas. Yet you'd be amazed at the amount of women I've talked to in this position who aren't willing to do this. There are deeper issues there, of course, such as a false sense of self-worth coming from having a prestigious position, high salary, and designer handbags. If that's you, then you need to be brave enough to dive deeper and find out what's really holding you back from making the desired changes. You might even want to see a therapist (I did! And I think it was one of the best things I ever did. I wanted to make sure I explored my reasons for quitting the legal profession with an unbiased neutral source, before I made such a big decision).

Starting your own business or leaving behind a toxic career are big moves and they're going to require big effort on your part. Look at it this way - how did you get into the current position you hold? You went to school, maybe you got special training, etc. You didn't just show up one day and start your job. So think of your next job, your next business (or your very first business!) in the same light. There are sacrifices and investments you're going to need to make. This or that. If you buy a handbag, you aren't going to be able to afford that online marketing course. If you watch Netflix every night for 2 hours, at the end of the week you've forfeited 14 hours you could've been working on your website. You get the idea. It takes discipline. It requires new habits.  

{Insert moans and groans} Hey, I hear you, I've been there. Humans crave routine and getting out of our comfort zones can be scary. And if you're currently working at a job that drains all of your energy, it can be hard to find motivation after work to work on your business idea (I can soooooo identify with that). But at some point, you need to put on your big girl pants and do what needs to be done or you're going to be the definition of insanity - doing the same thing year after year expecting change to show up out of thin air.

So where do you start? Small! Start with small changes, small decisions. Instead of buying some new clothes for the summer, can you take a look in your closet and determine what you really need and then use the rest of the money towards an online advertising course? If you can't give up Netflix at night, can you wake up 45 minutes earlier to work on your business ideas 2 times per week? And then 4 times per week? And then up it from 45 minutes to 60 minutes? 

Bottom line, you need to think about what you want and the intentional decisions that are going to get you there. But please please please, don't continue to say you want X, Y or Z and do nothing to get there. I honestly know people who've been whining about their lawyer job for YEARS and want to start their own business but they've literally done nothing towards that goal. Look at all that wasted mental energy! DECIDE. Do it or don't do it. But don't waste 5 years complaining and wanting something different with no action to back it up. You'll feel better either way - whether you commit to staying at your current job or you commit to start making the necessary changes.  

Last but not least, if you find yourself harboring jealousy towards those who have gone before you, remember this: they already made all of those hard decisions. They already got up the courage to quit their job. They already found the motivation to start their own business. Don't be jealous (because that's another waste of valuable energy), but rather recognize they have made the hard decisions that you haven't been willing to make just yet. When you look at it that way, they become an example of a way forward rather than a source of jealous pain. They become an example of what's possible when hard choices are made.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry I want to talk about branding. If you want to start your own business someday, it's so important that you develop a brand and not just "sell" products or services. A lot of people miss this. They think if they start a website and upload pictures of their products, people will buy. That couldn't be further from the truth, especially these days.

In this day and age, people have the ability to buy things from people all over the globe. This wasn't the case in, say, 1990 when the Internet didn't exist. Before the Internet, we were limited to the stores in our geographic area. But now, we can purchase a plain white t-shirt from someone in Florida as easily as we can purchase a plain white t-shirt from someone in Australia. What makes one person buy from the seller in Florida, and another buy from the seller in Australia? If the products are exactly the same, the differences can be found in the branding. And one mistake I see a lot of new entrepreneurs make is failing to think about branding. 

If you aren't sure what branding is, let me explain. Businesses need a brand - or an identity - to grow and succeed. When you file paperwork to form your limited liability company ("LLC") or corporation, the state actually gives you a piece of paper that says your business is its own entity, distinct and separate from you. This entity can open bank accounts, get a credit card, and enter into contracts. Some would go so far to call their LLC or corporation a living, breathing thing, and when you start the business ownership journey you'll quickly understand why! It sometimes feels like a newborn who needs all your attention and care. And just like a growing newborn, the things you do (or don't do) help shape the personality of your business. If you don't give any attention to branding, the personality is going to be dry, boring, and fail to connect with the people you hope will buy from you. On the other hand, if you develop an engaging personality for your brand that resonates and connects with the people you hope to sell to, those people will most likely become customers. Do you get the distinction I'm trying to make here? There are businesses and then there are brands. A business merely tries to sell things. A brand, on the other hand, connects with you and tries to serve you and fulfill one of your needs. It is a relationship, not just a one-way street for selling. 

How do you go about creating a brand? Generally, a brand is based on the things that make your business different. Let's walk through an example. Say there's a company that makes scarves and hires former victims of domestic violence to sew them. That company's branding will probably center around the empowerment of women. Their marketing messages will be inspirational and perhaps focus on a woman's resilience. You get the point? The company isn't just selling scarves. It's a company that's selling scarves with the much larger mission of empowering women through whatever circumstance they might face. And that concept resonates with a lot of people out there.

So if you plan on starting your own business, one of the first things you should think about is how you are different from all other sellers selling the same things. Then use those differences as a starting point to craft your brand's personality.

What makes up a brand personality? So much! The logo design, the colors of your packaging, the font on your website, the tone of the language on your Instagram posts - basically everything that comprises the look and tone of your business. For example, a jewelry company selling dainty, feminine jewelry like mine is probably going to use soft colors like pink and lavender, as opposed to red and orange. It'll use soft, flowery language on Instagram, not a sarcastic tone.

Here are two "big picture" questions you can consider when developing your brand:

1) Who is my ideal customer and what would appeal to him or her?

For example, if your main customer is a 20-year-old college student, the colors you'll select and the language you'll use will be very different from the colors and language that would resonate with a 50-year-old father.

2) How do I want to make my customers feel when they interact with me and my business?

For me and grace + hudson, I want people to feel a sense of lightness and feminine beauty when they interact with my brand. This is very different from a jewelry brand that wants to come across as trendy and edgy. 

If you are setting up a business (or already have!), I hope this is good food for thought. Definitely devote lots of time and attention to building your brand. It truly will make the difference between getting zero sales and getting tons of sales.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every Monday night, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am talking about the importance of "going your own way" as the famous Fleetwood Mac song tells us (they're one of my favorites!). When you start your own business, the temptation is so great to follow the crowd. However, if you plan to achieve a high level of success, you quickly learn that you need to differentiate yourself, create your own lane, and stray from the "normal" path now and then. Why? Well, due to social media, competition is larger than ever before. With the stroke of a button, I can buy earrings from a designer in London just as easily as I can buy earrings from a designer in California. You need to stand out from the crowd in order to gain customers, sales, and even followers on social media platforms. If you plan on following the crowd in your aesthetic, design, and branding, it's going to be really hard to convince a lot of people to buy from you (as opposed to others) and growing your business is going to be just plain difficult. Your chances of success exponentially increase if you differentiate yourself in some way, whether that's in design, branding, or your marketing efforts. Let me give you a few examples of how I've tried to differentiate myself. And, before I start, let me say that I learned this concept from a business school course I took before I started grace + hudson and this is widely accepted knowledge in the entrepreneurial world. It's not rocket science! So if you're thinking of starting your own business, one of the things you should do in the initial stages of developing your idea is brainstorm ways you can stand out from your main competitors.

When I started grace + hudson, the main way I decided to differentiate myself from other jewelry businesses was to develop a brand that focused on bridesmaid jewelry that could be gifted and worn again after the wedding. There are a LOT of bridal jewelry companies out there, but almost all of them focus on jewelry for brides, not bridal parties. Notice I said jewelry that could be gifted and worn again after the wedding, which means although I'd be primarily targeting brides needing bridesmaid gifts, my jewelry styles could also appeal to non-brides who happened to find my website and liked the style of my designs. So many wedding jewelry companies use weddings SO heavily in their branding that a non-bride doesn't even bother to look at them twice, even though there might be a style in their collection that they could wear to work or out on a date. Sure, I talk about weddings quite a bit, but it's not the ONLY thing I talk about, unlike some of these other wedding jewelry companies.

This brings me to the other main way I differentiate myself from other companies. I talk a LOT about how I left my job as a lawyer to pursue a happier life and start grace + hudson. I mean, I talk about it so much you're currently reading a journal entry about it on my website, right? It is a HUGE part of my branding. It doesn't seem 100% intuitive, so let me tell you how I knew talking about my career change would be good for my jewelry business. If you've been reading this journal for a while, you know I quit being an attorney not once, but twice. The first time was in 2010 when I opened a brick and mortar jewelry store in New Jersey, where I grew up. It didn't work out and lasted only about a year, but I learned so much from that experience. One thing I learned was that telling my story was a way to really connect with people. My store was down the street from the county courthouse so I naturally had a lot of customers who worked as attorneys, legal assistants, etc. Many of them wanted to hear how I managed to escape the legal profession (because, let's be real here, it is a TOUGH profession and a lot of people don't end up liking it very much). To them, I feel like I served as just one example of what might be possible for them too. And so many of them ending up buying a piece of jewelry which, if I had to bet, probably served as a visual reminder of what might be possible for them. Every time they wear the piece, they'd remember our conversation. Now that is some powerful stuff right there! I just love telling my "lawyer escape story" so it was something that came very naturally to me. I love to talk about career, and life purpose, and career change, and all that good stuff. So it's also something that's very authentic to me. And it's something that's pretty darn unique at least for a jewelry company! 

Those are the two big ways I differentiate myself, but there are a lot of small ways too. For example, I don't do wholesale anymore. What's wholesale? That's when you agree to sell your jewelry in other stores. The store buys the jewelry from you in volume (so they get a lower price) and then they sell it in their store. So many jewelry brands think they "should" do this and that this is the only way to grow and "get big." But I've decided, after some experimentation, that I don't want to do wholesale. I don't want my jewelry to be in 100+ stores. I want my jewelry to always feel special and made-to-order, and you definitely lose that factor if you're in hundreds of stores. Plus, in my opinion, I don't think wholesale is the way to grow a fashion business anymore. It used to be necessary before social media (e.g. how else would someone in California find out about my jewelry shop in Charleston?). But nowadays, I can get WAY more exposure through social media than I ever could by putting my jewelry in stores across the U.S. 

As another example, I don't work with fashion bloggers. Again, I think fashion brands think they HAVE to work with fashion bloggers but I've decided against it. Why? After some experimentation, I decided it doesn't work for me. I don't enjoy it and I also feel that it doesn't pay off. It's very easy to understand why - my main customer is a bride-to-be and there is no bride-to-be fashion blogger. Sure, there may be a fashion blogger who is getting married and decides to share her wedding planning, but for the most part her audience isn't going to be full of brides-to-be. Therefore, for me, it's way more effective to run ads that target brides-to-be.

If you're thinking of starting your own business, how can you differentiate yourself? What's special about you? What can you emphasize or talk about that no one else does? Think of at least two or three ways you can really nail this, and run with it! Can't think of anything? Give yourself some time to brainstorm it - it might require some effort - but each and every single one of us is unique so I guarantee you there is something special about you that you're overlooking.

Cheers to being different!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I wanted to talk about the power of the stories we tell ourselves and how to turn them around if they're holding us back. While this is an important lesson for business owners, it's also important in life. I've talked about this on Instagram and I wanted to talk about it here in more detail because it has been such a helpful tool.

Let me start with an example so you have some context. I shared this story over on Instagram this week. For many months, I've been feeling very overwhelmed in my business because I've take on a lot and have no help. It's just little old me running this business! I do everything from watering the flowers outside my shop to high-level marketing work, and everything in between. For a while now, I've accepted the fact that I really do need to hire an employee. It's time. My business just turned 3 years old last week and I can no longer handle everything on my own. But it's a scary step! It's sort of like trusting someone else to watch and care for your child. Anyways, for several months I had this repeating storyline running through my head. It went something like this: "I can't do this much longer on my own. This is too much for one person to handle. I have no one to help me." I recognized this story was playing in the back of my head and I started to call myself out on it. Each time I caught myself getting trapped in this story, I turned it around and said something like this: "I welcome support. I am supported in my business. I know the exact right person to hire is going to come across my path." It's hard work calling yourself out! It takes courage to challenge yourself and say to yourself, "Hey, there might be another perspective here." It took some time to fully believe this new story (that I could be supported) because I was a bit trapped in victimhood ("I can't do this on my own anymore. I am overwhelmed. I have no one to help me."). But once I really claimed a new storyline that was positive and supportive, it was only a matter of time before the most perfect employee serendipitously crossed my path. I was previously acquainted with her and never thought I'd be able to hire her. But everything lined up and I am so excited to start working with her in several weeks. It's funny how that happens.

Now that you have an example, let's try to break it down into action steps. It really isn't all that difficult - it just takes a lot of discipline and a willingness to call yourself out.

1. Recognize the limiting, negative, or self-defeating storyline

What negative storylines are you repeating? Truly ask yourself what's holding you back and be completely unfiltered and honest with yourself. 

Maybe it's "I'll never make enough money selling jewelry to pay my bills" (that's one I had to defeat after I quit being a lawyer!)

Maybe it's "I'm too young or I'm too old or I'm too [insert adjective] to succeed at [insert desired goal]." 

Maybe it's "Everyone has a 9 to 5 job, who am I to do something different?"

Maybe it's "My parents never made anything of themselves, who am I to pursue this big goal?"

Maybe it's even "I'll never meet a great guy. They're all jerks."

Negative storylines can creep up in every aspect of life, not just business and career. Not sure where to start? Ask yourself this: what area of my life is giving me the most trouble right now? Then ask yourself, "Why?" Then follow that trail as far as you can until you identify a limiting belief. Another method is to ask yourself, "Is there an area of my life where I feel sorry for myself?" For example, do you feel sorry for yourself because you've been single for 3 years in a row? That might cue you to look at the storylines you have in relation to your romantic relationships.

2.  Once you've identified the storyline that's holding you back, think about how you can turn it around

Get out a piece of paper and a pen and really work through how you can twist your storyline around. Start simple.

For example, if the negative storyline is "I have no one to help me in my business" then write down the opposite which would be, "I have help in my business."

If the negative storyline is "I'm too young to start my own business and have it succeed" then write down, "Regardless of my age, I know I have the skills I need to start my own business and have it succeed." 

If the negative storyline is "I'll never meet a great guy" then write down, "I know a great guy will cross my path and it's just a matter of time."

You get the idea. Come up with two or three "new" storylines that are positive and supporting. Write them down in your phone's note pad so you can refer to them at any moment.

3. Here's the hardest part: call yourself out 

When the negative storyline creeps in, you have to recognize it and call yourself out. This is the hardest part. Storylines are sneaky. They creep in when you least expect it and they come out of your mouth without you even realizing it. But the good news is, it gets easier and easier to call yourself out over time. It will almost become a reflex. You'll feel a little tug at your heart when you think or say a negative storyline and that'll be your cue for step 4.

4. Replace the negative storyline with the positive ones you created in step 3.

When you recognize yourself thinking or saying a negative storyline, stop yourself, and simply replace it with the positive storyline. And let yourself really feel it. It felt so good to tell myself, "I AM supported in my business. I CAN hire someone great. I know an awesome employee is going to cross my path." It eventually felt so good that I truly started to believe it!

5. Repeat the process over and over again and trust that new things, people, and events will start to show up for you to support your new storyline.

Here's the deal. The world works in pretty predictable ways. We are naturally attracted to things, people, and events that support our storylines. Let me make an analogy - we all have certain political beliefs (especially right now) and we tend to watch and read the media and news outlets that support what we already believe, right? People who love CNN would never watch Fox News and vice versa. The same principle applies in life - we look for things that already support what we believe. Does that make sense? I think our brains would rather be on "autopilot" - it's easier than opening up new pathways and establishing new thought patterns. 

Some people call this "manifesting" but that sounds a little woo-woo to some people. The plain and simple fact is that our outside circumstances tend to reflect our inner storylines pretty predictably. There's nothing woo-woo about that! When you know this, you can use it to your advantage.

If you found this helpful, I highly recommend the book Super Attractor by Gabby Bernstein. I adopted this method from her book and I've found it incredibly helpful not only in my business, but in my life. I hope you'll give it a try!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to the first edition of my Weekly Journal where I'll be sharing a bit about jewelry, and a lot about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. I get so many questions about career change, starting a business, and finding your passion that I wanted to start writing it down and sharing it regularly. So once a week, I'll use this space to talk a little about business advice, career advice, dream advice, what I'm currently working on (this month I've been focusing on money mindset), books that have helped me, daily rituals I find useful, and experiences I've had along the way. If you're longing for a career with purpose or if you're longing to start your own business (or both!), having just one example of someone who's gone before you and made it happen is a powerful thing. I hope you'll take away something valuable from my journey (and my mistakes) and be inspired to make the changes you've been dreaming about. So let's get right to it!

This month, I've been focusing on money mindset. No matter where you are in your journey, money mindset is something you can begin to work on RIGHT NOW. The sooner, the better. Why? Money is the number one block to turning your passion into a career. But I've got good news for you! I've found that the most effective thing we can do to get rid of the fears, doubts, and obstacles around money is easier than you think and will cost you nothing: work on your money mindset. The way you think about money is more powerful (and certainly more long-lasting) than hitting the lottery or scoring a generous business loan. The negative beliefs and stories we tell ourselves about money will keep us from pursuing a job that lights us up and gives us purpose (but is a little less secure financially) unless we uncover them and replace them with more positive beliefs and stories about money.

So, tell me, how do you feel about money? Is it a taboo topic? Yucky? Does it make you feel vulnerable or give rise to shame or guilt? Is money usually something that leads to arguments? Or do words like awesome, a source of power, and easy to manage come to mind when thinking about your relationship with money? I'd bet it's the former. This is no surprise! For one, we're taught ZERO about money in school and most of us grew up around parents that fought (at least occasionally) about money. This means that we grew up thinking money is something you (a) don't talk about and (b) when you do talk about it, it's likely to lead to a fight. No wonder our society grows up with negative beliefs and stories surrounding money. 

Most of us are not even aware that negative beliefs and stories about money are lurking in the shadows, sabotaging our desire to pursue our passions. Awareness is key. If we're aware of the things that are holding us back, we can change them. So what kinds of beliefs and stories do you hold about money? Think about how your dad handled money. Think about how your mom did. What kinds of jobs did your mother and father and other relatives hold? Did you get an allowance? Were you told that you could only spend money on certain things? Was money a secretive topic in your home growing up? How did your parents respond when you needed to ask for money? Here are some examples of beliefs and story lines that you might identify with (spoiler alert: these are all taken from my own life): 

• A lucrative career and a meaningful career are mutually exclusive. Most of us grew up learning that you need to decide between the two. A job that you enjoy, that gives you purpose, and pays the bills? No way! 
• I'll never be able to make enough money doing XYZ. We're continually told by our parents, "You'll never make enough money to pay your rent doing [insert your passion project]." But that's because our parents' generation, for the most part, sought out stable, secure jobs because their parents lived through the Great Depression. There was usually no joy, purpose, or meaning in these jobs but the pay was good and the pension was even better, and that was of utmost concern. The Great Depression has long since ended, but we are still prioritizing the stability of an office job with a good 401(k) at the expense of joy, purpose and meaning. 
• I don't deserve to earn a lot of money doing something I love. This is a sneaky one, but chances are this resonates with you at least a little bit. Similar to this is "I'd feel guilty if I earned a lot of money doing something I love, while others struggle with their 9-5 jobs." This is the way our 9-5, TGIF, live-for-the-weekend American culture is set up, so who are you to challenge it?
• "You work hard, then you die." Most of us have a relative or friend who prescribes to this theory on life, yeah? They work long hours, live paycheck to paycheck, and there's just no end in sight (except retirement or, you know, death). 
• Money is the root of all evil. Isn't that a quote from the Bible? If your parents fought about money, you probably grew up with the belief that money is dangerous or evil. Oh and God says it's bad, too.
• Rich people are snobs. What does a wealthy woman look like to you? Many of us think that rich women are bitc*y. Do you want to turn into a bitc*? Heck no! I'll just stay right here earning my middle of the road salary, thank you very much.
• I'll start truly living when I retire. Did your parents save, save, save into that 401(k) or pension plan, and teach you that life begins at age 65, when you can retire from your dreadful job? That doesn't even make sense! Some of us won't even see age 65 (unfortunately, my father was like this and he passed away one month after he turned 65). Plus, it's a lot more fun to travel and live near the beach before you turn 65 and start acquiring various illnesses and ailments. 

You get the idea. Once you identify the beliefs that might be holding you back, you can call them out when they show up. This isn't easy, but it can be accomplished with some practice. For example, the next time you're justifying to your best friend why another year has gone by and you are still at a job you hate, alarm bells will start to go off in your head. Ask yourself, do I really believe these excuses that I'm telling my best friend? Or do these excuses sound like story lines about money? As another example, if you don't believe you'll ever make as much money selling [insert your passion] as you do in your current job, you can begin a daily mantra - take it to yoga class or repeat it on the walk to work: "I can make more money following my passion than I ever did in my current job." You won't believe it at first, but give it a few weeks or months, and you'll see the pathways in your mind start to open up to the possibility of making more money doing something you love. As another example, if you believe most rich women are bitc*y, make it a habit to look out for kind, awesome, rich women. How about one of your favorite authors, singers, or actresses?  

I've had to overcome some serious mental money strongholds on my journey from type A-perfectionist-attorney to free-spirited jewelry business owner (it was quite a leap!). I've had to battle every single one of the examples in the bullet point list above plus more, and I'll tell you what: it's a daily choice to live with an abundance mentality. Some beliefs are easy to acknowledge and dispose of, while others show up time and time again and take a lot more work to get rid of. Some of the mantras I pull out on a daily basis include: "I deserve to do work I love and get paid for it"; "I believe it's possible to make more money selling jewelry than I ever did as an attorney"; "I believe that money is a GOOD thing that allows me to experience things I love, invest in my business ideas, and be generous to others." Money is one of my biggest blocks, but over the last 1 1/2 years, I've transformed the way I think about it through reading books on the topic, journaling about my blockages, using daily mantras, and just plain being curious about the money fears that show up for me (I'm always asking myself, where did I learn this? Who taught me to think this way? Do I actually believe this, or can I disagree with it?). 

There are two books in particular that I've found invaluable to changing my money mindset. The first is You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (you can find it here on Amazon) and the second is Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks by Denise Duffield-Thomas (here on Amazon). I know, I know - the titles! Please do not be offended by the curse words, they are simply there to emphasize the light-hearted approach that both of these books take towards money. And boy is that a breath of fresh air! I don't think I've ever seen the words light-hearted and money in the same sentence before. Both of these women are hilarious, so I highly recommend listening to these books on Audible. Play them over and over again until things start to click. I promised you'll have some "ah-ha!" moments that bring you new clarity and a new perspective on your relationship with money. Once you clear these fears and doubts around money, you'll be so much more capable of turning your passion project into a full-time paying gig. Cheers to making money doing something you enjoy! xo

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! If you're new to grace + hudson, I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am talking about one of the fears that can hold you back from starting your own business or making a big career change. And that's the fear of what everyone else is going to say about you. What will they say behind your back when you quit your current job? Launch your website? Go back to school for a different degree? Unfortunately, it's common for people to gossip and judge others - it's just a reality of life. Hopefully you have a small circle of supportive family and friends you can rely on, but sometimes judgments come from people we love the most. Why can't people just smile and be supportive? Well, I think there are two forces at work here. 

Do you remember that phrase from elementary school that goes, "I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks onto you?" It's applicable here. The judgments people throw your way often say more about them than they do about you. When someone judges or criticizes you, she is revealing her own beliefs and her own fears (in other words, the judgment bounces off of you and sticks back onto her). Let me give you an example. Let's say someone at work says to you, "Do you really think it's smart to leave your stable office job to do something so risky like start a small business?" Through this statement she is revealing HER belief that a stable, corporate job is the only route to financial stability and HER belief that business ownership is too risky and therefore a poor decision. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Unfortunately, someone like this is a bit small-minded. She doesn't realize that people are built differently. We are all put on this planet with different dreams, skills, personalities, and risk-taking levels. If we were all the same, the world would be boring - and it wouldn't function very well. For example, if we were all built like your co-worker, there would be no one on earth to take the risky jobs. Everyone would be working in an office (and let me tell you, once you quit an office job, you realize just how many people do NOT have a typical office job). So that's the first thing to keep in mind when you're the target of a judgment - remember their words reveal more about them and their beliefs, than you.

The second thing to keep in mind when you receive a judgment is that people often act as mirrors for us. Subconsciously, of course. Let's look at an example. Let's say your best friend expresses a lot of fear and concern when you tell her you are going to quit your job next month. You've been working hard on your business, have turned it into a side hustle, and now you're ready to quit and go full-time. But she goes on and on with her parade of horribles: "But what will you do if this happens? What will you do if that happens? Do you have enough money? What if you run out of money?" And on and on she goes. You get mad at her for reacting so negatively and you tell her you've got to go. On the walk home, you think about all she had to say and you realize that she's actually reflecting back to you all of your deeply held fears about making this leap. It's an interesting principle, but this happens so often in life (most often in romantic relationships and close familial relationships). We get so upset at someone for reacting with negativity and fear, only to admit to ourselves a few hours later that he or she merely spoke into existence the fears that we hold deep down. So, the next time someone reacts to you with fear and concern, see if this principle applies. It doesn't always, but it is really interesting when it does. And these people can actually help us confront our fears head on. For example, you can promise yourself that if you see your bank account drop below a certain amount, you will get a part-time job. And for each fear on the list, you will make a plan: "if this happens, I will do this." Write it down. Keep it in a safe place. When you feel the fears creeping back up, read your plan. You can't plan for everything, but you can plan for a lot. And taking a big leap is never going to be risk free. If you're waiting for the risk to go away, you're going to be waiting the rest of your life! So remember these two ideas the next time you're the target of judgment, and it'll slide right off of you!

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my business journey and my experiences!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I created a Weekly Journal board so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,

Stacy