Want Different Results? Make Different Choices

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm writing about a simple idea: If you want different results, you need to make different choices. So many people write to me about wanting to start a business, but they don't want to change anything about their current lifestyle, they don't want to take any risks, and they don't want to give up watching Netflix every night in exchange for working on their business ideas. So this week I'm talking about the importance of making intentional choices when we desire significant changes.

Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? You know the one... "doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results?" If you want to start your own business and/or change careers like I did (or make another big change!) then you have to do something different. Your current decisions have gotten you to your current state of affairs. If you want something different, it all begins with making different choices. For example, if you are currently an attorney making a six-figure salary with a designer handbag habit, something is going to need to change if you want to quit the legal profession and start your own business. For starters, instead of spending money on handbags, you can put that money towards your business ideas. Yet you'd be amazed at the amount of women I've talked to in this position who aren't willing to do this. There are deeper issues there, of course, such as a false sense of self-worth coming from having a prestigious position, high salary, and designer handbags. If that's you, then you need to be brave enough to dive deeper and find out what's really holding you back from making the desired changes. You might even want to see a therapist (I did! And I think it was one of the best things I ever did. I wanted to make sure I explored my reasons for quitting the legal profession with an unbiased neutral source, before I made such a big decision).

Starting your own business or leaving behind a toxic career are big moves and they're going to require big effort on your part. Look at it this way - how did you get into the current position you hold? You went to school, maybe you got special training, etc. You didn't just show up one day and start your job. So think of your next job, your next business (or your very first business!) in the same light. There are sacrifices and investments you're going to need to make. This or that. If you buy a handbag, you aren't going to be able to afford that online marketing course. If you watch Netflix every night for 2 hours, at the end of the week you've forfeited 14 hours you could've been working on your website. You get the idea. It takes discipline. It requires new habits.  

{Insert moans and groans} Hey, I hear you, I've been there. Humans crave routine and getting out of our comfort zones can be scary. And if you're currently working at a job that drains all of your energy, it can be hard to find motivation after work to work on your business idea (I can soooooo identify with that). But at some point, you need to put on your big girl pants and do what needs to be done or you're going to be the definition of insanity - doing the same thing year after year expecting change to show up out of thin air.

So where do you start? Small! Start with small changes, small decisions. Instead of buying some new clothes for the summer, can you take a look in your closet and determine what you really need and then use the rest of the money towards an online advertising course? If you can't give up Netflix at night, can you wake up 45 minutes earlier to work on your business ideas 2 times per week? And then 4 times per week? And then up it from 45 minutes to 60 minutes? 

Bottom line, you need to think about what you want and the intentional decisions that are going to get you there. But please please please, don't continue to say you want X, Y or Z and do nothing to get there. I honestly know people who've been whining about their lawyer job for YEARS and want to start their own business but they've literally done nothing towards that goal. Look at all that wasted mental energy! DECIDE. Do it or don't do it. But don't waste 5 years complaining and wanting something different with no action to back it up. You'll feel better either way - whether you commit to staying at your current job or you commit to start making the necessary changes.  

Last but not least, if you find yourself harboring jealousy towards those who have gone before you, remember this: they already made all of those hard decisions. They already got up the courage to quit their job. They already found the motivation to start their own business. Don't be jealous (because that's another waste of valuable energy), but rather recognize they have made the hard decisions that you haven't been willing to make just yet. When you look at it that way, they become an example of a way forward rather than a source of jealous pain. They become an example of what's possible when hard choices are made.

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xoxo,
Stacy