Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about the power of thinking differently. If you want to make a massive change like I did - going from lawyer to jewelry business owner - you have got to think differently about career, life, money, and the stories we tell ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves around these topics shape our reality, our experience. If you believe you are destined to struggle with finances in a low-paying job, you will. If you believe you are destined to do more than that, you will. It's really that simple. It's us who complicates it. Your thoughts form your beliefs and if you start there, at the root of the issue, you'll empower yourself to make real, massive changes with more ease.

Let me start by saying it is HARD to train yourself to think differently. I hear you on that. Our brains have these little pathways, almost like roads, and we gravitate towards the ones that are well-traveled. That's why we often have the same repetitive thoughts and the same repetitive responses and behaviors over and over again. Let me give you an example. Many people are inadvertently taught to believe that we're supposed to work hard at a job we don't particularly like that offers a good salary and good health benefits until we're 65 when we can retire and finally start to enjoy life. Most people operate from this perspective, right? Even if that "story" or "brain pathway" is not clearly evident to you, it's operating in your subconscious when you make decisions. That's why your brain goes, "Wow!" when you see someone who's "broken the mold" and chosen to believe in a different path and has had great success. That's also why you jump from job to job, hoping the next one will be different, only to find that it is not. You have to change the story, you have to change the beliefs, and then and only then will you see something different show up in your reality. Until that time, you're going to see the same story play out over and over again. In this example I just mentioned, once you start to believe that work can and should be enjoyable and you can experience joy in your day-to-day (even on Monday!), and that life isn't meant to "begin" at age 65 but rather to be lived every day, you'll be open to finding a job that jives with that mentality and it won't be long before you find one. But here's the thing. The brain can't be fooled. You can't merely say that you believe work should be fun and expect to find a fun job, you have to believe it. The brain knows when your words and your beliefs are not in synch.

This takes practice. A lot of practice. In fact, I would argue that it is a moment by moment decision. We'll get better and better at it as we grow and age but - no matter how great we get at it - it's still going to be a conscious choice we need to make. For that reason, I call it a lifelong practice. It's almost like working out, right? You can't just workout for a few months or even a couple years and expect to be set for the rest of your life. Physical fitness is a lifelong habit that requires daily dedication. And although it will become easier with practice, you might still fall off the wagon from time to time. I've always wondered why our culture places so much emphasis on working out the physical body, and places so little emphasis on training the mind, but that's a conversation for another day.

If this topic is resonating with you, let me leave you with two resources. Check these out and I bet they'll spark your motivation to work on changing your thoughts. The first resource is a book by author Jen Sincero. It's called "You are a Badass at Making Money." I know, I know, this book is about money. But there is so much goodness in this book that can be applied to ANY area of your life whether it be career, relationships, health, or finances. You see, it's all about mindset, so whether we're talking about mindset in the area of money or in the area of relationships, it's all the same. Side note: that's why when you intentionally work on mindset in one area of your life - so for me it was career and money - other areas of your life also improve - and for me that was relationships. Let me share my favorite passage from Jen's book, in hopes it will motivate you to go buy it or listen to it on Audible. And p.s., if you couldn't already tell from the title of the book, she talks about this topic in a very light-hearted, funny manner. You'll laugh quite a bit! 

"Your beliefs are driving the bus. They take you where you’re going whether you’re paying attention or not. Your thoughts are the tour guide. The person up front with the microphone and the clip board. She can lean over and yank the wheel, slam on the breaks, step on the gas, flip the bus. She can do whatever, whenever she wants. She usually works in harmony with your beliefs, but she has all the veto power. Your words are the assistant to your thoughts and beliefs. Your words back them up, voice their opinions, anchor in their message, keep it real. Your emotions are the fuel. They are ignited by your thoughts, and can change your beliefs and the direction of your life. Without emotions, you're going nowhere new and exciting. Your actions build the road. They pave the path for your beliefs, but will reroute should thoughts and emotions make a change of plans and decide they want to stop at Dairy Queen or something... All members of team mindset must be on the field bringing their A game, yet it's your thoughts - and I hate to play favorites here - that are the biggest badasses of them all."

- from Chapter 2 (and this is at minute 26 in Chapter 2 if listening on Audible)

Oh this book is so, so good at explaining how the aspects of our brains function together in funny, easy-to-understand language. Jen has another book that's simply called, "You Are a Badass" which I would recommend as well. It shares some of the same principles and ideas applied in a more generic manner (not tied to money). Here is a link to both books on Amazon.

The second resource I want to share with you is a YouTube video from one of my favorite teachers, Iyanla Vanzant. You can view it here and the part I want to direct you to starts around minute 27 and goes through minute 36. She gives so many great examples of how you can turn your thoughts around. I've listed some of them below - you can fill in the blanks with the things that are most challenging to you right now:

Instead of saying "This is so hard" say "I am up for the challenge of {fill in the blank}"

Instead of saying "I can't {fill in the blank}" say "I am learning to ____"

Instead of saying "I am trying to lose weight" say "I am releasing excess weight"

Instead of saying "I don't have ____" say "I am calling in ____"

Instead of saying "I need ____" say "I am open to receive ____"

Instead of saying "I don't know how to ____" say "I am learning to ____"

Instead of saying, "I am fearful of ____" say "I am learning to trust that ____"

I absolutely love how Iyanla teaches us to turn around negative thought patterns. She does it like no one else. I find her so powerful, and yet so easy to understand. If you listened to this video segment every day for 30 days, I guarantee that you will start to recognize the ways you can turn your own repetitive, negative thoughts around to be more productive and positive. And when you look at the world in a more productive, positive way, the world around you begins to change.

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm writing about money. I've written quite a few journal entries on money because it's the number one thing holding us back from pursuing a dream of a more fulfilling and satisfying career. In the last 7 years or so, I've had to do a lot of work on my beliefs around money in order to quit my job as a lawyer and go out on my own as a jewelry business owner. And I mean a LOT of work. Through sharing my work and my experience on this topic, I hope you will change your perspective on money too.

Let's clear something up right out of the gate. Why do you want money? Think about it for a minute. Is it because you want to save a lot of money in the bank in order to feel secure before you quit your job to pursue a dream? Is it because you want to travel the world? Raise a large family? Retire from work altogether? Buy fancy cars? Buy multiple homes? Why? Why do you want money so badly? We get so caught up in dollars and cents and bills and financial goals, that we sometimes lose sight of why we actually are working so hard to earn money. When you really sit down to think about it, you'll come to find out that you don't actually want the money itself. You want the things money will bring into your life or help you achieve, right? What would happen if you started to focus on those things more and stopped focusing so much on the actual dollars and cents? Better yet, what would happen if you started focusing on the feelings those things would bring you? For example, what if you focused on the feelings you would have if you pursued your dream of owning your own bakery (or boutique, or consulting business, or whatever it is you really want to do)? You'd feel so much freedom in your work to do your own thing and set your own hours and, most importantly, spend the minutes of your life doing what you want to do rather than what some boss or large company wants you to do. That is true, beautiful freedom right there. There is also so much stability and security in living life on your own terms - in pursuing your purpose through the natural given talents and abilities you were born with. When you have this type of mental and emotional stability and security, you begin to see that stability and security do not come from a paycheck and do not come from having a large savings account. We all know plenty of people with large sums of money who are by no means stable or secure, right? Just look at the world of celebrities. 

You see, we are taught by society, or our university, or our parents to strive for the best job with the best salary we can obtain, when really we should be taught to strive for the feelings we think that salary would bring. What would those be? Namely, they are freedom, security, and stability (and maybe a few others personal to you). And the truth of the matter is, freedom, security, and stability are NOT found in money and they are available to you regardless of how much money you make. Huh? There's a lot to unpack there, I know. But it boils down to this: there is a huge disconnect when you think you can only get freedom, security, and stability through money. 

Let's unpack this with some examples. Is the new career or job you're dreaming about going to be more fulfilling, and therefore bring you more joy and internal peace? That's stability right there. Mental stability. And mental stability is a lot more valuable than boatloads of money in the bank. For one, you can't buy mental health or physical health. Health is arguably the most valuable form of abundance.

Here's another example. Is the new career or job going to make use of your God-given talents and gifts which you aren't using in your current job? If you answered yes, that's security right there. Let me explain. When you use the talents, gifts, and skills you were born with, you are working from a place of service (i.e. how can I best serve the world with the special skills I have?). This is the opposite of working from a place of "I need a paycheck." When you build a career around the gifts that come naturally to you, you're going to excel more quickly, more easily, and face less risk of layoff. And even if you do face a job cut, you're likely going to gain a new one quickly. Job security doesn't mean "I have a job with this employer forever." No, no. Job security means "I naturally excel in this field because of my God-given talents and skills and therefore even if my employer goes bankrupt through no fault of my own, I will find a new job in this field quickly because I'm naturally great at it." That's security right there.

Now here's the kicker. Ironically, when you approach career and work from this perspective, the money follows! It's amazing. Almost like magic. It doesn't happen overnight and some patience is needed, but when you commit to work that's in alignment with YOU, the money follows naturally. One of my favorite teachers, Iyanla Vanzant, once said money is "My Own Natural Energy Yield." You see what she did there? Money is a currency, an energy. And it's simply what comes back to you when you put good energy out into the world in the form of sharing your skills and talents through your work. I just love that.

Let me leave you with a passage from one of Iyanla's books called One Day My Soul Just Opened Up:

Most of my life I thought I wanted money. I believed that if I had money to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, I would be deliriously happy and free. As a child and as an adult, I have often heard myself say, "Boy! I wish I had a million dollars." I thought that would be my ticket to freedom. One day I woke up with those same thoughts floating around in my mind, and by the end of the day I had $1.1 million. It was a short time later that I realized it was not the money that I actually wanted. My true desire was for the freedom I thought the money would bring. It was too late! I had the money and all of the obligations that came along with earning it.

So what are you chasing today? Is it paychecks? Or the feelings of stability and security and freedom? Always prioritize the latter. The money will take care of itself. Trust me. I am living proof of this through my decision to quit my 11-year career as an attorney to start grace + hudson.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something from my experience and also my mistakes!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I'm talking about the importance of surrounding yourself with role models. More specifically, with people who are doing what you want to be doing. If you've been working for a little while, you've probably heard the expression, "If you don't want your boss' job someday, you might want to think about a different career path." It's true. Why would you work so hard if you don't want to progress on the path you're on? That sounds kinda silly, doesn't it? A lot of people have identified that they don't like their current career path, but a lot of people haven't figured out what's next. So they stay stuck. And stuck is often an unhappy place to be. I was there for a long time, so let me help you.

Five years ago, I was a lawyer living an unhappy life, struggling with the prospect of making a career change. I was highly educated - with degrees from both Cornell University and Emory Law School - yet I felt my career options were limited. WHAT?! Yes, it's true. And I bet you can relate no matter your career or education level. We get pigeon-holed into a certain career and we think there's no other options available to us. Let me be the first to tell you that this is highly inaccurate. And all it takes is getting outside your little career bubble.

You see, when I was a lawyer, I often spent 70+ hours a week devoted to work and my (very little) free time was spent running errands and, you know, just keeping my life together by paying bills, walking my dog, grocery shopping, and going to a yoga class or two. When you find yourself in this position, your exposure to other people is pretty limited. In other words, it was hard for me to see beyond my little career field, beyond my little bubble. There are millions of people out there performing millions of jobs, but I was so trapped in the legal profession that - when I wanted to look for other career options - my mind went blank. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you're a nurse or a teacher or in the IT field - whatever your field, it's easy to get a little stuck there. It's easy to become pigeon-holed. We often make friends at work, so perhaps many of our friends do the same jobs as us, too. We get so comfortable in this little world (even if we don't particularly like it) and it becomes difficult to see beyond it. I know so many lawyers that dislike their jobs, but they all say to me, "I just don't know what else I'd do with this degree." There are literally thousands if not millions of jobs they'd be qualified for. Lawyers have so many transferrable skills. Just to name a few, most lawyers are great writers, amazing researchers, and very skilled at analyzing data, negotiating, and critical thinking. 

So how do you get outside this little bubble? It can be as easy as Google! Do some searching. I bet you'll find articles and maybe even podcasts and interviews. For example, if you get on Google and search "former lawyer," you'll actually find a podcast with tons of interviews of former lawyers who are now doing something else (click here to listen to mine!). If you listen to one of these podcasts per day, in just a couple of weeks you will have expanded your mind from "I don't know what else I can do with this degree" to "there are so many other possibilities for me." That's pretty powerful stuff. There is huge power in surrounding yourself with examples of people who have already done it. That's why I named this journal entry "the power of role models." When you're in this state of possibility, good things start to happen. Opportunities start to arise. That good energy of "I can do this" and "there are options" and "I don't need to stay stuck here" really can propel you forward. It replaces the negative energy of "I'm stuck here" and "I don't have options" and "I'll never be able to do something else." If you've been following my journal entries for any length of time, you know I'm always emphasizing mindset. This is no different. Expand your mind. Find proof that there are lawyers {or insert your current job} doing other things with their lives. There is TONS of it. You just have to look for it. And then this proof will naturally expand your mind as to what's possible for YOU. 

Let's talk about some other examples, just to get your mind going. Did you know a nurse can work in the legal profession? Yep! Nurses are needed in medical malpractice cases. So maybe you don't like the day-to-day work of being a nurse, but maybe you'd like lending your expertise in a legal case. Or maybe you're a teacher. Did you ever dream of starting your own business one day? How about creating an online course in something you're proficient at? There are tons of people teaching all sorts of things online and you, my friend, are leaps and bounds ahead of them because you already have some real life teaching experience. Plus, online courses have exploded during the past few years and it's an awesome business to start as a side hustle. 

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I'm in the process of creating a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! If you're new to grace + hudson, I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am answering a question I often get in my shop in Charleston. It goes something like this, "Ok, so you practiced law for a long time and someone doesn't just quit law and start a jewelry business. What happened? Something big must have happened to you. You know, to have the courage to take such a big leap." And they're right. One doesn't just quit an 11-year career as a lawyer and start a jewelry business without making some major shifts in life. Something big did happen. There was a major catalyst. It all started 8 years ago tomorrow, on May 3, 2014. That was the catalyst. That was the turning moment for me...although I didn't know it at the time.

Eight years ago on May 3rd I lost my father to cancer. It was a short battle - lasting only about 10 months - and he had just turned 65 years old. His side of the family lived quite long - into their 90's - and I thought my dad would be around forever. In fact, my grandfather (my dad's dad) was still living when my dad passed. But we never know what's in store for us, do we? It's a question I think about often. If my dad had known he would only make it to 65, would he have spent so much time and money and energy on saving in his 401(k), hoping for a retirement by the beach, etc? Would he have lived more during his life, and not saved up all his living for some distant future when he can finally relax? I hear a lot of lawyers say, "Well, no I don't like my job. But I'm just going to work hard and retire early." And maybe for a time I thought that way myself. But what a cruel, cruel joke - to live your whole life with your eye on the prize of retirement, only to die one month later. Believe me, this happens more than you care to think. When I share my dad's story with others, so many people respond with a similar story that happened to their family member. 

So, as you can already tell, watching my father pass in hospice care really changed my perspective on life and the things we're taught to believe and do. I questioned the things that are deemed "normal" such as saving in a 401(k) and planning to live by the beach when you're in your 60's. None of it really made sense to me through this new lens. What if I never made it to retirement? On the flip side, what if I do make it to retirement? Most older folks don't even like to be out in the sun for very long, so how does living by the beach in old age make sense? I mean, you don't want to move to an island in the Caribbean when you're in your 70's - the medical care on an island is horrendous! On and on my thoughts and observations went... I just didn't understand why so many people had bought this storyline of "work hard, retire, then live" without questioning how some of it just doesn't make sense. 

I didn't make any major leaps in 2014. I sorted through these thoughts and feelings, and grieved properly with the help of a therapist. It wasn't until February 2017 - so not quite 3 years later - that I made the big leap to quit my lawyer job. In addition to changing my outlook on the world, I had changed views about my finances. I was 37 at the time and could've purchased my first condo in Chicago, where I was living prior to Charleston, with a nice downpayment. Instead, I felt pulled in a new direction. I could always buy a condo, but I wouldn't always have the opportunity to start my own business. I was single, no kids, no mortgage at the time and I was going to take FULL advantage of that. If it didn't work out, I could just go back to being a lawyer. But here I am, 5 years later, and it absolutely has worked out. And much better than I ever could have imagined...

If there's anything I wish for you, it's the ability to truly understand that we are not here forever. Life can be taken away from us in a heartbeat. Be smart about it, but do what you want to do. Experience what you want to experience. Life is really, really short. And it shouldn't be spent planning for some distant day in your 60's when you can finally start to live.  

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my business journey and my experiences!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I created a Weekly Journal board so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! If you're new to grace + hudson, I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am writing about what it really takes to make your dream a reality. Whether your dream is to start your own business or completely change careers, making it come true isn't so easy. It often boils down to this: what are you willing to do to make it happen? It can be scary, uncertain, and risky to take real steps towards your dream. It also can require a lot of work, a lot of discipline, and a lot of sacrifice. Few are willing to roll up their sleeves and get to work, and many want it handed to them on a silver platter. But nothing worth having comes easy. And the bigger your dream, the more it's going to take. 

First and foremost, if you want to see your dream come to life, you have to make friends with the fact that some sort of sacrifice is going to be required. Most people aren't willing to sacrifice a thing so be honest with yourself - are you? Maybe you need to invest a lot of time into your dream. Or maybe it's money. Maybe you're going to need to get a little uncomfortable for a while. Maybe you're going to need to work really hard on your mindset to make your dream come true by changing the negative beliefs that are holding you back. Maybe you're going to need to spend less time with your spouse or partner or kids or best friends for a little while so you can work more. What is it going to be for you?

I think this is the main sticking point that most people can't get beyond. People want things to change and they want their dream to come to pass, but they aren't willing to change anything about their current situation to get there. Let me give you an example. I hear from a lot of lawyers who want to leave the practice of law and start their own business, but many of them say, "Well, I don't want to change my standard of living though." That's code for: I make a lot of money, I have gotten used to a luxurious lifestyle, and I'm not willing to give that up. Really? Not even for a little while? If it means seeing your dream come to life and being happier in the long term? If your business succeeds, you might make MORE than you currently make now. Here's the deal: making some sacrifices now could potentially add up to a lifetime of happiness and more money. Think of it like an investment. Isn't that worth the "pain" of giving up the lifestyle you're used to right now? Let me tell you from firsthand experience, it is!

When I left my lawyer job in 2017, I was at this crossroads in my life: buy a condo or quit my job and try to make my dream come true. I had saved enough money to put a decent down payment on a condo in downtown Chicago, but there was a nagging thought in the back of my head that I should use that money to quit my job and start my own business. I chose the latter, which means I still rent and I don't own a home. That's the main "sacrifice" I made to start grace + hudson (I use the term "sacrifice" loosely as I realize some people never even get the chance to buy their own home). I am so glad I made that decision for myself because it gave me financial flexibility - I am not handcuffed to a certain income level in order to pay a mortgage each month. And you know what else has come of it? The money I make now feels good. It makes me so proud to earn a living from something I love to do and I know it's going to feel so good to buy a home someday in the near future. The money I made when I was a lawyer didn't feel good, and I know the home I bought with that money wouldn't feel good in the long run either.

The point I'd like to leave you with is this: everything is a decision. Everything. When it comes to the dream of business ownership, what are you willing to prioritize? Is it more important to you to purchase your own home right now? Or to enjoy the small or big luxuries of life - anything from expensive coffee to beautiful trips? Or is it more important to you to prioritize saving money for your long-term dream? There is no right or wrong answer - it depends on YOU and what you want. But realize it's your choice and the power is in your hands. If you aren't willing to sacrifice anything, own that! Get clear on that. And then let your dream go because it's taking up space and energy that you don't ever intend to act on. Instead, fill that space with a new dream. For example, maybe you want to travel the world instead. In any case, decide and then fully own your decision. And stop wasting energy mulling over what you don't have. The grass is always greener...until you let yourself feel empowered by the choices you have made.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my business journey and my experiences!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I created a Weekly Journal board so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! If you're new to grace + hudson, I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am writing about money. Why? Money is the number one block to turning your passion into a career.

So...how do you feel about money? Is it a taboo topic? Yucky? Is money usually something that leads to arguments? When you think of your feelings around money, do words like "awesome", "a source of power", and "easy to manage" come to mind? I'm willing to bet not. This is no surprise! For one, we're taught ZERO about money in school and most of us grew up around parents that fought (at least occasionally) about money. This means that we grew up thinking money is something you (a) don't talk about and (b) when you do talk about it, it's likely to lead to a fight. No wonder our society grows up with negative beliefs and stories surrounding money. I believe this is the reason that money is the number one block to turning your passion into a paying career. But I've got good news for you! I've found that the most effective thing we can do to bust through our money blocks is easier than you think and will cost you nothing. It's this: you have to work on your money mindset - which is your feelings and beliefs around money - and turn off the negative stories you've been telling yourself about money and replace them with more positive, empowering money stories. Changing the way you think about money is more powerful (and certainly more long-lasting) than hitting the lottery or scoring a generous business loan. Those things are fleeting. If you don't have a healthy mindset around money, those things will leave as fast as they came. That's why so many lottery winners end up bankrupt in a couple of years. They don't know how to hold onto money, nor do they really, truly believe they deserve an abundance of it.   

How do you start working on your money mindset? Awareness is key. Most of us are not even aware that negative beliefs and stories about money are sabotaging our desire to pursue our passion. If we're aware of the things that are holding us back, we can change them. Let's start here: what kinds of beliefs and stories do you hold about money? Think about how your dad handled money. Think about how your mom did. What kinds of jobs did your mother and father and other relatives hold? Did you get an allowance? Were you told that you could only spend money on certain things? Was money a secretive topic in your home growing up? How did your parents respond when you needed to ask for money? Here are some examples of beliefs and story lines that you might identify with (spoiler alert: these are all taken from my own life): 

• A lucrative career and a meaningful career are mutually exclusive. I can either be rich or happy, not both. Most of us grew up learning that you need to decide between the two. A job that you enjoy, that gives you purpose, and pays the bills? No way! 
• I'll never be able to make enough money doing XYZ. We're continually told by our parents, "You'll never make enough money to pay your rent doing [insert your passion project]." But that's because our parents' generation, for the most part, sought out stable, secure jobs because their parents lived through the Great Depression. There was usually no joy, purpose, or meaning in these jobs but the pay was good and the pension was even better, and that was of utmost concern. The Great Depression has long since ended, but we are still prioritizing the stability of an office job with a good 401(k) at the expense of joy, purpose and meaning. 
• I don't deserve to earn a lot of money doing something I love. This is a sneaky one, but chances are this resonates with you at least a little bit. Similar to this is "I'd feel guilty if I earned a lot of money doing something I love, while others struggle with their 9-5 jobs." This is the way our 9-5, TGIF, live-for-the-weekend American culture is set up, so who are we to challenge it?
• "You work hard, then you die." Most of us have a relative or friend who prescribes to this theory on life. They work long hours, live paycheck to paycheck, and there's just no end in sight (except retirement or, you know, death). 
• Money is the root of all evil. If your parents fought about money, you probably grew up with the belief that money is dangerous or evil. And I'm pretty sure the Bible says money is evil, too!
• Rich people are snobs. What does a wealthy woman look like to you? Many of us think that rich women are bitc*y. Do you want to turn into a bitc*? Heck no! 
• I'll start truly living when I retire. Did your parents save, save, save into that 401(k) or pension plan, and teach you that life begins at age 65, when you can retire from your dreadful job? That doesn't even make sense! Some of us won't even see age 65 (unfortunately, my father passed away one month after he turned 65). Plus, it's a lot more fun to travel and live near the beach before you turn 65 and start acquiring various illnesses and ailments. 

You get the idea. Once you identify the money beliefs that might be holding you back, you can call them out when they show up. This isn't easy, but it can be accomplished with some practice. When you see it happening, turn that negative money story around. For example, if you notice yourself thinking, "If I do what I love for work, I might be happy but I'll probably be poor" turn it around in the moment and say, "I can be happy and wealthy at the same time. I deserve to make an abundance of money doing what I love."  

Here's another way to practice a better money mindset. If you follow me on Instagram, you know I love a daily mantra. So take your money mindset practice to yoga or bring it into your meditation or morning drive! During this time, silently repeat to yourself, "I can make more money following my passion than I ever have in my current job." Chances are, you won't believe it at first, but give it a few weeks or months, and you'll see the pathways in your mind start to open up to the possibility of making more money doing something you love.

Another way to practice a better money mindset is to make a habit of looking out for kind, awesome, rich women. How about one of your favorite authors, singers, or actresses? This practice is especially good if you believe most rich women are bitc*y. 

You can also read books on the topic. There are two books in particular that I've found invaluable. The first is You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (you can find it here on Amazon) and the second is Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks by Denise Duffield-Thomas (here on Amazon). I know, I know - the titles! Please do not be offended by the curse words, they are simply there to emphasize the light-hearted approach that both of these books take towards money. And boy is that a breath of fresh air! Both of these women are hilarious, so I highly recommend listening to these books on Audible. Play them over and over again until things start to click. I promised you'll have some "ah-ha!" moments that bring you new clarity and a new perspective on your relationship with money.

If I can do it, you can do it. I've had to overcome some serious mental money strongholds on my journey from type A-perfectionist-attorney to free-spirited jewelry business owner (it was quite a leap!). I've had to battle every single one of the examples in the bullet point list above plus more, and I'll tell you what: it's a daily choice to live with an abundance mentality. It doesn't happen overnight, but gradually the shifts will come. Some beliefs are easy to acknowledge and dispose of, while others show up time and time again and take a lot more work to get rid of. Money beliefs were one of my biggest blocks, but over the last few years I've transformed the way I think about it through reading books on the topic, journaling about my blockages, using daily mantras, and just plain being curious about the money fears that show up for me (I'm always asking myself, where did I learn this? Who taught me to think this way? Do I actually believe this, or can I disagree with it?). 

Once you clear your fears and doubts around money, you'll be so much more capable of turning your passion project into a full-time paying gig. Cheers to making money doing something you enjoy! 

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my business journey and my experiences!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I created a Weekly Journal board so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! If you're new to grace + hudson, I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I am writing about seeking validation. If you're stuck in a job you don't like and you see no way out, this is a big topic to address. First and foremost, you are not alone. I stayed stuck in my job as a lawyer for 11 years even though I hated it from day one. What keeps us stuck? I can only speak from my point of view but I believe it's a view shared by many women - especially high achieving, smart women. 

As many of you know, I practiced law for 11 years. I went to an Ivy League college, a top 25 law school, worked at a couple of prestigious law firms, made a high salary, drove a Lexus before the age of 30, and seemed to have it all going on, as they say. But, inside, I was honestly a bit of a mess. Appearances aren't always what they seem! I was always sick (nothing serious thankfully, but I always had a cold, always had a stomachache, and I never felt healthy). The law firms I worked for pretty much owned me - if you are familiar with the legal profession, lawyers have to keep track of their "billable hours" and the law firms I worked at required me to keep track of every 6 minutes. Yes, every 6 minutes. Meaning, if I talked to a client on the phone for a short call that lasted from 9:00 am to 9:12 am, I literally had to write that down and bill 0.2 hours to that client (12 minutes equates to 0.2 of an hour). Talk about feeling absolutely controlled by my employer. And then, on top of that, partners at law firms are ALWAYS cutting your hours, telling you that the legal brief you wrote for court should have taken 7 hours, not the 13 hours it actually took you. So you are constantly being told you aren't fast enough or good enough. Looking back, this is an INSANE way to live and it's literally unbelievable to me that the legal profession still operates like this. As you can imagine, this wrecks your nervous system. And then on top of it all, lawyers are well, lawyers. I'm not going to sugarcoat it - most of them are awful people to work with. Lawyers have a certain reputation for a reason. In part, it's not our fault. Our life is one big argument. Every day. For years on end. And we are taught to always look for the negative. For example, when you're drafting a contract for a client, your job is to think of EVERYTHING that can go wrong and then draft legal provisions in that contract that protect your client if those things happen. Why do I mention all of this? Because a normal person would equate this to a toxic relationship and they would tell you to run the other way. Like, now. Not tomorrow, not the next day. Now. You deserve way better. But yet, I stayed. For 11 years. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I eventually escaped. Many do not. So, this brings me to my point - why on earth did I stay? Validation was a huge part of it.

Let me explain. When you are disconnected from your inherent worth and value - you know, good ole self-esteem - you strive for external validation. You look to other people and circumstances to affirm your value. A good job means you're smart. An attractive husband means you're loveable and pretty. You get the idea. Whether it's conscious or not, you're striving to make the outside look "perfect" with the hope that you will feel better about yourself on the inside. But let me tell you, it doesn't work that way. I had many hallmarks of a "successful" life before I even turned age 30 and I was a bit of a mess. Why? These external things are merely quick hits, almost like a drug. Sure, it made me feel good about myself for when someone told me they were impressed by the college I attended, or that I was able to get a job at a prestigious law firm. But that feeling lasted for about 5 minutes. The nice clothes I wore, the nice car I had... they didn't make me feel better about myself on the inside. They didn't make me feel that good, authentic, inherent worth and value that only genuine self-esteem can bring. There came a time when I felt really betrayed. This happened around age 34 where I landed the position I "should" have wanted to remain in for the rest of my life - the pinnacle of my career. And the story in my head went something like this: "I thought that if I strived for all these things, I would be happy. I have them all - why am I not happy?"

I was missing a big piece of the puzzle - I was never taught to work on the inside because what's going on on the inside matters a whole lot more than what you see on the outside. That's not my fault, so the first step was self-compassion for myself. We're taught in school and in society and by our families that we should strive for all these things and we are led to believe we'll be happy when we get them. This is what I mean by external validation. And if you haven't figured this out yet, it is a complete lie. And anyone being honest with themselves will tell you that. But this lie keeps us stuck in jobs we don't like because they pay high salaries. This lie keeps our bank accounts depleted while we try to dress up ourselves with nice clothes to look better than we actually feel inside. This lie keeps us in a bad relationship because we don't want to upset our families by getting a divorce. So the second step - after having self-compassion for yourself - is to examine the areas of your life where you're merely "keeping up appearances." Is there anything in your life that would bring a huge sigh of relief if it were gone? Maybe it's something big like a relationship or maybe it's something smaller like a car payment on a car that's a little too fancy for your income. Are you driving it because you love cars or the particular make and model? Or are you driving it because it impresses upon others that you are successful? These are the kinds of questions we need to be brave enough to ask ourselves. Because when you get rid of the things that aren't serving us - the things that we're doing or being for other people - then we get more into our authentic selves. And that's the path to peace and freedom and joy. So, start this week by thinking about what you have, why you have it, what's weighing you down, and what would feel like a release if you let it go. Those are the first steps on a path to leading the life YOU were meant to live full of things that YOU want and desire -- not merely the things you are taught you "should" want. We aren't all supposed to live the same lives you know... but you would think otherwise from schooling and the culture we live in. We're all meant to be different and serve different purposes. And a joyful life looks different to every single one of us.

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my business journey and my experiences!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I created a Weekly Journal board so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! If you're new to grace + hudson, I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In last week's journal entry, I shared how grace + hudson is actually my second business. Yep! I had a small jewelry store in 2010 that failed after just one year and you can read about that here. In this week's journal entry, I wanted to expand upon that and talk about failure. 

Some would label my first store a "failure" but, looking back, grace + hudson wouldn't exist today without that experience. You see, brides-to-be would come into my first jewelry store looking for bridesmaid jewelry gifts. And they all raised the same complaints about the current options in the marketplace. I have never been married, so there was no way for me to know firsthand about these complaints. If you weren't following me back in 2017 when I launched grace + hudson, I launched my company primarily with bridesmaid jewelry in mind. In fact, I didn't even offer bridal jewelry back then! That came later. At first, my goal was to offer timeless, classy bridesmaid jewelry with sophisticated, subtle colors to match a wedding. And it had to be at a giftable price point since some brides have very large bridal parties. And it had to be versatile - you know, so that it could be worn again after the wedding (so it truly is a “gift” and not just something to wear in the ceremony). So you see, having that first “failed” store was a crucial step in me building a successful second business.

That first “failed” store taught me so much about what it takes to run a business, too. You can read all day long about starting a business but until you’re in it, you just don’t know. All the mistakes I made the first time taught me how to be better the second time. My second attempt definitely didn't feel as overwhelming as the first. I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew I could handle it. Opening my second storefront felt like a breeze compared to the first one.

After my first "failure" I also felt a lot of freedom to take risks. Business ownership comes with risk - in fact, it requires it. No one builds a great business by simply copying everyone around them. So, after "failing" once, I felt great freedom to follow my ideas and my intuition the second time around. So many people told me "it's so hard to break into the jewelry market" and "there are so many competitors in jewelry online" etc, etc. But I knew I found a niche that I could really run with (bridesmaid jewelry) and I trusted my intuition on that. And, bottom line, I knew if I failed at it, that nothing major was going to happen. I wasn't going to die, I wasn't going to get hurt, I wasn't going to... anything. I might have to pay off some business-related debt but that's about it. I think once you "fail" in a big way, you're not scared of failure ever again. You realize there is a silver lining to every situation. You learn to focus on what you learned from the experience, not how you "failed." Is it really a failure if it led you to your second successful business? Is it really a failure if it grew you up as a person and gave you new skills? The lessons and life skills we learn can never be stolen, no matter what happens to the business in the end. 

I hope you shed your fear of failure today. You might encounter some difficulties along the way to your dream, but - like me - the difficulties and the "failures" might be leading you to your big success. They might be appearing to teach you something very important you'll need for big success down the road. Keep a good perspective and go after it!

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my business journey and my experiences!

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I created a Weekly Journal board so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,

Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. This is the final entry in a five-part series where I'm sharing what it's really like to be a small business owner and if that path is right for you. So many of you want to start your own business someday and it's important that you have a realistic picture of what that entails. In today's entry, I'm sharing what it's like to have no "boss" at work. Sounds great, doesn't it? It is if you're independent-minded! But the lack of a boss and the lack of a clear "to do list" at work certainly isn't for everyone. 

Starting a new business doesn't come with a checklist, a manual, or a guide and what you do day-to-day can vary greatly. This is quite unlike any other position, where your job duties are clearly spelled out in your job description and your goals or benchmarks are clearly set forth in your performance reviews. If you want a promotion to the next level, you can go to your boss or the human resources department and they'll usually be able to give you a piece of paper with the requisite years of experience and other required skills for a promotion. A lot of aspiring business owners grow up in this corporate environment and so they ask me where they can find the manual on starting a business. They want a checklist with 100 "to do list" items and they want to know that if they check off all 100 items, they'll have a successful business. Oh my friend, you need to leave that corporate mentality behind! Even if there was a checklist with 100 items, and even if you tackled all 100 items with gumption, there is zero guarantee you'll have a successful business waiting for you at the end. That can be daunting for someone who is very accustomed to having clearly spelled out expectations, goals, and functions.

Here's the thing - while people often complain about their bosses, most people actually need a boss. They flail if no one tells them what projects need to be worked on. They stumble if there's no one above them to turn to for advice and guidance when stuck on a project. They get overwhelmed on how to prioritize tasks if no one is there to prioritize things for them. When you have no boss, you need to make all of the decisions yourself. You need to come up with the projects. You need to prioritize what's important and what can wait. And you won't have a more experienced boss to turn to when you're stuck (side note: but you can find mentors and other entrepreneurs to network with who can identify with you). 

So get honest with yourself and how you function at work. Maybe being boss-less is actually not as appealing as it sounds. Maybe it's actually kind of nice to have someone sitting on the sidelines telling you what to do everyday. Maybe? Think about it and be honest with yourself because running a business is hard and it's totally okay if you don't think you are cut out for it. It's better to know that now (and save yourself a lot of time, money, and heartache) then to discover it later on.

I hope this real talk has been helpful. If you haven't read the other entries in this series, check them out! It's so important to get clear on this stuff before you invest a lot of time and money into your business idea. 

If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe. 

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I'm in the process of creating a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate all of my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past couple years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. If you're new around here, I was a lawyer for 11 long years before I quit my job in 2017 to start grace + hudson. As you might imagine, I know a little bit about career unhappiness. I also know a little bit about how to break free! This coming February, it'll be 6 years since I made the dramatic change from lawyer to jewelry business owner. I can hardly believe that much time has already passed. If your resolution for 2023 is to make some changes in your career to find more happiness, this journal entry is for you! 

Looking back on my own experience, I can tell you there is one thing you should focus on before you make any career changes and that's this: you must change your thinking before you make any changes in the external world. Huh? Let me say it differently - you have to change your focus. If I had to bet, up until this point you have been mostly concerned with job titles, salaries, raises and promotions, correct? Where has your happiness, peace of mind, and personal sense of fulfillment come in to the equation? Yeah, that's what I thought. It's secondary or it doesn't even factor in at all.

Back when I was younger, I was focused on getting into the best college and the best law school, then I was focused on getting a job at the best firm making the most money, and then I was focused on getting a nice car and building a nice home. Everything, and I mean everything, was focused on building a life that looked perfect. My own sense of peace, joy, fulfillment? It was no where to be found. Life shifted for me when I lost my dad to cancer when I was 34 -- that's when I started to realize that life isn't about the outside "stuff" and that I had been chasing outside stuff my whole life. Hence, my unhappiness. Let me quote a passage from a book I stumbled on recently - it'll help illustrate my point:

"I'm learning that for a variety of reasons, I've spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with the right furniture, working at the right job, and having the right man. Form, rather than substance, has controlled my behavior in many areas of my life. Now, I'm finally getting to the truth. It's substance that counts." -- by anonymous, as quoted by Melody Beattie in The Language of Letting Go

Does that resonate? If you're an over-achieving personality like I used to be, I bet this hits you right in the stomach. Form rather than substance. Ugh, that hurts to even read. It's so, so true. How could I have missed this? How could you have missed this? Be gentle on yourself. If you're like most people, you simply consumed the messages that your parents and society forced down your throat about work and career. 

When you change the focus, when you start focusing on joy and peace and fulfillment instead of job title, salary, and promotions, the entire world changes. You start evaluating job opportunities differently, for example. Instead of being mostly concerned with salary, you are mostly concerned with - does this workplace inspire a sense of peace in me? Can I see myself being happy amongst this group of co-workers? Do I see myself feeling like a contributor and going home most nights feeling like I made an impact by sharing my gifts and talents? Does this job make good use of my gifts and talents - the ones I enjoy using the most (not just the ones that make the most money)? This is a game-changer.

Word of caution: you may have some inner work to do before you can really embrace this idea. If you've lived your entire life striving to impress your parents with your job title or promotions, or if your entire identity is built upon this "picture perfect" life you've tried to create and portray to the outside world, you're not going to be able to easily detach yourself from the things you've been assigning meaning to up until now. If I had to guess, I bet some self-worth and self-compassion work is first on your to-do list before you make any career changes. But that's ok - it's worth it. Take it from someone who's been there. I spent a good 2 years doing this type of work before I made my dramatic career change. It's the best investment of time I ever made in myself and it led to lasting change. And I can proudly say that I have so much peace and happiness in my work life now. If I can do it, you can do it too!

I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experience. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe.

P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!

xoxo,
Stacy