You Must Change Your Thoughts In Order To Have Something Different

Welcome to another edition of my Weekly Journal! I use this space to share about my journey from lawyer to jewelry business owner. In this week's journal entry, I want to talk about the power of thinking differently. If you want to make a massive change like I did - going from lawyer to jewelry business owner - you have got to think differently about career, life, money, and the stories we tell ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves around these topics shape our reality, our experience. If you believe you are destined to struggle with finances in a low-paying job, you will. If you believe you are destined to do more than that, you will. It's really that simple. It's us who complicates it. Your thoughts form your beliefs and if you start there, at the root of the issue, you'll empower yourself to make real, massive changes with more ease.
Let me start by saying it is HARD to train yourself to think differently. I hear you on that. Our brains have these little pathways, almost like roads, and we gravitate towards the ones that are well-traveled. That's why we often have the same repetitive thoughts and the same repetitive responses and behaviors over and over again. Let me give you an example. Many people are inadvertently taught to believe that we're supposed to work hard at a job we don't particularly like that offers a good salary and good health benefits until we're 65 when we can retire and finally start to enjoy life. Most people operate from this perspective, right? Even if that "story" or "brain pathway" is not clearly evident to you, it's operating in your subconscious when you make decisions. That's why your brain goes, "Wow!" when you see someone who's "broken the mold" and chosen to believe in a different path and has had great success. That's also why you jump from job to job, hoping the next one will be different, only to find that it is not. You have to change the story, you have to change the beliefs, and then and only then will you see something different show up in your reality. Until that time, you're going to see the same story play out over and over again. In this example I just mentioned, once you start to believe that work can and should be enjoyable and you can experience joy in your day-to-day (even on Monday!), and that life isn't meant to "begin" at age 65 but rather to be lived every day, you'll be open to finding a job that jives with that mentality and it won't be long before you find one. But here's the thing. The brain can't be fooled. You can't merely say that you believe work should be fun and expect to find a fun job, you have to believe it. The brain knows when your words and your beliefs are not in synch.
This takes practice. A lot of practice. In fact, I would argue that it is a moment by moment decision. We'll get better and better at it as we grow and age but - no matter how great we get at it - it's still going to be a conscious choice we need to make. For that reason, I call it a lifelong practice. It's almost like working out, right? You can't just workout for a few months or even a couple years and expect to be set for the rest of your life. Physical fitness is a lifelong habit that requires daily dedication. And although it will become easier with practice, you might still fall off the wagon from time to time. I've always wondered why our culture places so much emphasis on working out the physical body, and places so little emphasis on training the mind, but that's a conversation for another day.
If this topic is resonating with you, let me leave you with two resources. Check these out and I bet they'll spark your motivation to work on changing your thoughts. The first resource is a book by author Jen Sincero. It's called "You are a Badass at Making Money." I know, I know, this book is about money. But there is so much goodness in this book that can be applied to ANY area of your life whether it be career, relationships, health, or finances. You see, it's all about mindset, so whether we're talking about mindset in the area of money or in the area of relationships, it's all the same. Side note: that's why when you intentionally work on mindset in one area of your life - so for me it was career and money - other areas of your life also improve - and for me that was relationships. Let me share my favorite passage from Jen's book, in hopes it will motivate you to go buy it or listen to it on Audible. And p.s., if you couldn't already tell from the title of the book, she talks about this topic in a very light-hearted, funny manner. You'll laugh quite a bit!
"Your beliefs are driving the bus. They take you where you’re going whether you’re paying attention or not. Your thoughts are the tour guide. The person up front with the microphone and the clip board. She can lean over and yank the wheel, slam on the breaks, step on the gas, flip the bus. She can do whatever, whenever she wants. She usually works in harmony with your beliefs, but she has all the veto power. Your words are the assistant to your thoughts and beliefs. Your words back them up, voice their opinions, anchor in their message, keep it real. Your emotions are the fuel. They are ignited by your thoughts, and can change your beliefs and the direction of your life. Without emotions, you're going nowhere new and exciting. Your actions build the road. They pave the path for your beliefs, but will reroute should thoughts and emotions make a change of plans and decide they want to stop at Dairy Queen or something... All members of team mindset must be on the field bringing their A game, yet it's your thoughts - and I hate to play favorites here - that are the biggest badasses of them all."
- from Chapter 2 (and this is at minute 26 in Chapter 2 if listening on Audible)
Oh this book is so, so good at explaining how the aspects of our brains function together in funny, easy-to-understand language. Jen has another book that's simply called, "You Are a Badass" which I would recommend as well. It shares some of the same principles and ideas applied in a more generic manner (not tied to money). Here is a link to both books on Amazon.
The second resource I want to share with you is a YouTube video from one of my favorite teachers, Iyanla Vanzant. You can view it here and the part I want to direct you to starts around minute 27 and goes through minute 36. She gives so many great examples of how you can turn your thoughts around. I've listed some of them below - you can fill in the blanks with the things that are most challenging to you right now:
Instead of saying "This is so hard" say "I am up for the challenge of {fill in the blank}"
Instead of saying "I can't {fill in the blank}" say "I am learning to ____"
Instead of saying "I am trying to lose weight" say "I am releasing excess weight"
Instead of saying "I don't have ____" say "I am calling in ____"
Instead of saying "I need ____" say "I am open to receive ____"
Instead of saying "I don't know how to ____" say "I am learning to ____"
Instead of saying, "I am fearful of ____" say "I am learning to trust that ____"
I absolutely love how Iyanla teaches us to turn around negative thought patterns. She does it like no one else. I find her so powerful, and yet so easy to understand. If you listened to this video segment every day for 30 days, I guarantee that you will start to recognize the ways you can turn your own repetitive, negative thoughts around to be more productive and positive. And when you look at the world in a more productive, positive way, the world around you begins to change.
I hope you're able to learn something valuable from my own experiences. My wish is for everyone to know the feeling of doing work that brings them joy. It truly is an unbelievable gift to not dread Mondays and hope for Friday's fast arrival. If you'd like my Weekly Journal sent straight to your inbox every week, click here to subscribe.
P.S. Are you on Pinterest? I have a Weekly Journal board on Pinterest so you can easily navigate my journal entries. You can view and follow the board by clicking here. I've written so much about quitting my lawyer job to start g+h over the past few years and I want to make it easier for you to access and read the entries that resonate most!
xoxo,
Stacy
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